"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Being interested, how? I don't care about anyone!

Huffman

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i felt the same way so i stopped going to parties and social events, i just spend my free time in the gym or training in martial arts at a dojo, im very lonely but at the same time i dont enjoy being around most people, it is what it is, im just going to keep focusing on my hobbies and myself
This is exactly what I want to prevent from happening. I'm not satisfied with "it is what it is". We can do it!
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Yewki

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This is exactly what I want to prevent from happening. I'm not satisfied with "it is what it is". We can do it!
If you're not happy you should look to change things, but at the same time there's a possibility you're barking up the wrong tree. No one is always happy, and the grass always seems greener on the other side. You might be trying to shove a square peg into a triangular hole. Maybe, maybe not. Just food for thought.
 

Huffman

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Right, thanks. I will experiment and check back in a couple of weeks. Just saying I appreciate everyone's advice.
 

CuddleJunkie

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I generally agree with this, but how he wrote about it was different. You're kind of smoothing over all the bumps in his argument.
Well, Nietzsche was a complex guy, with a complex system of ideas, so to understand any of his aphorisms you need a more or less deep knowledge of the rest. That is why some aphorisms, taken by themselves, have "bumps". Damn, he even makes inside jokes from time to time, referencing to other books he wrote, or to old ideas he had, so a lot of times it seems that he's contradicting itself.
A great guy he was, and his aphorisms about women are precious. He didn't marry, used the pros lol.
 

Yewki

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Well, Nietzsche was a complex guy, with a complex system of ideas, so to understand any of his aphorisms you need a more or less deep knowledge of the rest. That is why some aphorisms, taken by themselves, have "bumps". Damn, he even makes inside jokes from time to time, referencing to other books he wrote, or to old ideas he had, so a lot of times it seems that he's contradicting itself.
A great guy he was, and his aphorisms about women are precious. He didn't marry, used the pros lol.
Not gonna lie I don't understand everything he's trying to say. Partly because the writing style is unconventional and awkward. I would argue it's actually poorly written by today's standards. But the bumps I'm referring as a whole have to do with what I see as a gross oversimplification of the issue. His conclusions are mostly exaggerated guesswork also. I feel like his entire argument is one big straw man fallacy.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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SuckItUp

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Huffman, It's easy to fall into the trap of think others are beneath you, but it's a false dichotomy because you are affixing a value system that places you higher on your system than others and they don't know the system criteria.

Best bet is to approach social situations with the intent of having fun or being outrageous or playing a role. You're not being fake but rather redressing social convention. It's a good way to bypass the same terrible conversations about people telling you how their job is important or how they ran a marathon, or dug water wells in some exotic water deprived 3rd world nation.
 

wifehunter

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I was there once!

But, you need to realize... it's a two way street. Being exciting and fun is work! Most people are lazy! If you're bored, something is wrong.

I use small talk as a springboard for all kinds of jokes and banter. I'm constantly surrounded by boring people. They like me because I'm "fun" to talk to.

Challenge: Be the joy in boring peoples' boring lives.
 
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