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sarah00
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"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
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sarah00
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Iceberg
Master Don Juan
No. They don't.sarah00 said:
And frankly, I'm not even sure he liked you. The only thing you're going on is how he "stared at you". Which, could be completely in your imagination. If he asked you out, then I can say that he definitely liked you. But staring? Maybe he was looking at you, maybe not. Just saying - the foundation of your argument is pretty weak.
To be blunt - who cares? You wanted to date him. He doesn't want to date you. So, he serves no purpose in your life. Why worry about someone who serves no purpose in your life?
I know you're not a man, but I'm going to phrase things to you as if you were - You gotta be logical about this. You just wrote a 2-page essay about some guy who you never even kissed. Never gone on a date with. Never anything'd. Is your love life so barren that you spend so much time thinking so deeply about some guy who rejected you 2 years ago? It's time to move on.
You're trying to learn about all the emotions behind his actions. Well, the world doesn't run on emotions. It doesn't care about emotions. Summer is hot, not matter how you feel about it. Winter is cold, no matter what your emotions are. My point is - this guy had NUMEROUS chances to make a move on you and he didn't. You could worry about the billions of possible emotions that guided him to act in such a way....or you could simply say, "If he wanted me, he would have made a move. Oh well."
Emotions = "Maybe he didn't ask me about because of A, B, C, X, Y, Z reasons."
Fact = "He didn't ask me out."
Stop making things more complicated than they need to be.
Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
My God, did you guys actually read all that?!?
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Mike32ct
Master Don Juan
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That was a very long post, so I'll just jump around based on what I remember from reading it.
First, I generally agree with Iceberg. I mean this guy had plenty of opportunities to ask you out, but he didn't.
Next, guys are usually pretty blunt when it comes to telling a girl that he only wants to be friends. I mean if he meant friends with benefits, he would have made a move on you. Since he didn't make a move, he REALLY does mean just friends. However, eventually he felt uncomfortable around you and sought to ignore you a bit. I'm not saying that's right, but that is probably what happened. Maybe he liked your friend too.
As far as him making sexual jokes with you, that is something FRIENDS do. Most guys (except for the aggressive bad boys) don't make many dirty jokes around women they are interested in for fear of turning her off. But with friends, it's open season on dirty humor.
As for him "staring" at you, I don't know what to make of it. There is no other evidence to suggest he's interested in you. When you consider body langauge, you need a MINIMUM of TWO signs to accurately read a person. One sign is ambiguous. For example, if a female raises both eyebrows at me, she's either attracted or scared of me. If she does that AND plays with her hair, ok, she is probaby attracted. But one sign is not enough to go by.
First, I generally agree with Iceberg. I mean this guy had plenty of opportunities to ask you out, but he didn't.
Next, guys are usually pretty blunt when it comes to telling a girl that he only wants to be friends. I mean if he meant friends with benefits, he would have made a move on you. Since he didn't make a move, he REALLY does mean just friends. However, eventually he felt uncomfortable around you and sought to ignore you a bit. I'm not saying that's right, but that is probably what happened. Maybe he liked your friend too.
As far as him making sexual jokes with you, that is something FRIENDS do. Most guys (except for the aggressive bad boys) don't make many dirty jokes around women they are interested in for fear of turning her off. But with friends, it's open season on dirty humor.
As for him "staring" at you, I don't know what to make of it. There is no other evidence to suggest he's interested in you. When you consider body langauge, you need a MINIMUM of TWO signs to accurately read a person. One sign is ambiguous. For example, if a female raises both eyebrows at me, she's either attracted or scared of me. If she does that AND plays with her hair, ok, she is probaby attracted. But one sign is not enough to go by.
OP is hanged up over a guy who has expressed absolutely no interest in her. you built a fantasy world around the guy for years and its inevitably falling apart. simple solution..if he ignores you, you have every right to ignore him right back! why do you fight to gain the attention of a single guy when the're hundreds of other guys. frankly this is the type of attitude which get girls abused by their ******* boyfriends in relationships. do yourself a favour and simply forget about him.
Protip: next time try not to post so much, keep it short and sweet
Protip: next time try not to post so much, keep it short and sweet
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Love's Orphan
Don Juan
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Wow... Concrete proof of a woman's thought process. Anyways, like the rest said: forget about the guy, it will save you some of that self esteem you have left.