Being A Nice Guy, Just Doesn't Work!

[soulforge]

This morning I was thinking back to some of my past relationships & breakups.. I'm going back quite a few years now, before I discovered Sosuave & learned about the red pill.

One thing I noticed is.. In at least three of my past relationships, the girl I was seeing told me.. No Man Has Treated Me As Well As You Do!

So it's safe to assume, that the guys before me, treated her pretty crappy, or just didn't make much effort for her...

Yet she was with this guy 10 years or longer? And it only worked out with me for a year or two MAX.

So the guy who treats her well.. The relationship falls apart very soon.

The guy who treats her crappy.. Gets a good 10 year run out of her!


This is why being the nice guy, just doesn't work in the long run..

You have to be a jerk at times, you have to limit how much time and effection you give them. You have to build a world that does not always include her.

You should not take any kind of crap from her, and be willing to say NO

Being nice and trying to please, will litrialy get you NOTHING

 

[Murk]

You want a 10 year run at something that isn’t going to last? Way to waste a decade of your best years.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

This morning I was thinking back to some of my past relationships & breakups.. I'm going back quite a few years now, before I discovered Sosuave & learned about the red pill.

One thing I noticed is.. In at least three of my past relationships, the girl I was seeing told me.. No Man Has Treated Me As Well As You Do!

So it's safe to assume, that the guys before me, treated her pretty crappy, or just didn't make much effort for her...

Yet she was with this guy 10 years or longer? And it only worked out with me for a year or two MAX.

So the guy who treats her well.. The relationship falls apart very soon.

The guy who treats her crappy.. Gets a good 10 year run out of her!


This is why being the nice guy, just doesn't work in the long run..

You have to be a jerk at times, you have to limit how much time and effection you give them. You have to build a world that does not always include her.

You should not take any kind of crap from her, and be willing to say NO

Being nice and trying to please, will litrialy get you NOTHING

A jerk isn't always about treating her like garbage. It might just be treating her to the level she is treating you and not giving her good attention if she doesn't deserve it. It's ok to give a deserving person a gift especially one who does it for you. But to do it for someone being B1tchy and selfish is self defeating. So I don't think you should go around treating all like garbage, but you should treat sh1tty people

This morning I was thinking back to some of my past relationships & breakups.. I'm going back quite a few years now, before I discovered Sosuave & learned about the red pill.

One thing I noticed is.. In at least three of my past relationships, the girl I was seeing told me.. No Man Has Treated Me As Well As You Do!

So it's safe to assume, that the guys before me, treated her pretty crappy, or just didn't make much effort for her...

Yet she was with this guy 10 years or longer? And it only worked out with me for a year or two MAX.

So the guy who treats her well.. The relationship falls apart very soon.

The guy who treats her crappy.. Gets a good 10 year run out of her!


This is why being the nice guy, just doesn't work in the long run..

You have to be a jerk at times, you have to limit how much time and effection you give them. You have to build a world that does not always include her.

You should not take any kind of crap from her, and be willing to say NO

Being nice and trying to please, will litrialy get you NOTHING

You can't be nice to someone who doesn't deserve it. Some people do deserve it. A jerk isn't always about treating like garbage, many times it's treating them as they should.

 

[logicallefty]

IMO the key to how to treat woman isn’t nice or crappy or either of those extremes, it’s to be indifferent.

 

[jaymbrs]

I’ve always been the nice guy right out the gate with all the girls I’ve talked to. It has gotten my foot through the door with most of them. After I get to know them do I change my approach to what I feel they deserve.

 

[Glassguy]

It's not about being nice vs being a jerk.

It's about not changing yourself and the things you like doing in life to think you're pleasing her.

When you lose your purpose in life, and your purpose then becomes a woman, you're screwed.

I can be a really big softie when I am really into a chick. That doesn't mean my life goes on hold for her. It means that she gets deeper in me when we are together but I still live my life when we are not.
I am naturally a nice guy, but I can become indifferent at the drop of a hat if a woman is disrespectful or doesnt respect the boundaries of our relationship. I will never treat a woman poorly in order to keep her around. If I felt that i needed to, she clearly isnt what I am looking for.

That's the difference IMO.

 

[djthiago1]

The key is to be the gentleman.
The gentleman is the nice guy who has a BACKBONE, and that means he's able to say the word "No" once in a while and be able to walk away if necessary.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Remember, a "jerk" by DJ definition does not mean a man who is disrespectful, abusive, demeaning, etc. Men who exhibit these characteristics are actually quite weak. Weaker than an AFC or beta because they look to control via fear because they feel/know they ARE inferior. A "jerk" is a man who just doesn't give in to a woman's whims and demands, goes their own way, hits them with negs and ****y and funny, and couldn't give a s*hit if she leaves or he goes. Women see this behavior as "jerk-ish" because he's not doing what she wants all the time. So "jerk" is more a term women use when they don't get their way.

To quote what's been quoted on SS 876,456 other times, you need a blend or balance of jerk (as a women defines it) and nice guy. You can be "nice" when you're both on the couch watching a flick, if she's down about work, life, etc., crying, and needs support. As a mater of fact, if you show her the strong guy (think: Clint Eastwood, John Wayne, Jack Nicholson, Vin Diesel, Ken Shamrock, Stallone, Arnold, Charles Bronson [notice how there are no more "tough" men any more? All these guys are from 70's, 80's, 90's mostly]), and then the understanding "nice" guy on occasion in limited doses, you'll have her hooked bad.

Good luck.

Dash

 

[skinnyguy]

This also applies to work. I used to be the nice guy at work and do people favors. Now, I act selfish and demand praise from people. If I’m giving up something for them, I let them know it. Many people at work have told me that I have a lot of power - this is because I’ve made myself indispensable due to the number of sacrifices I’ve made. I now command respect.

With women you’re dating, you should demand that they worship you. If they aren’t, put them in their place. Be incredibly selfish with what you want from women and they will respect you.

 

[marmel75]

This also applies to work. I used to be the nice guy at work and do people favors. Now, I act selfish and demand praise from people. If I’m giving up something for them, I let them know it. Many people at work have told me that I have a lot of power - this is because I’ve made myself indispensable due to the number of sacrifices I’ve made. I now command respect.

With women you’re dating, you should demand that they worship you. If they aren’t, put them in their place. Be incredibly selfish with what you want from women and they will respect you.

You demand praise? Makes you sound insecure and immature.

 

[Murk]

I’m a nice guy. I get girls

If stealing LV handbags is nice then I'm Mother Teresa

Edit: just playing

 

[Murk]

Sorry not LV handbag but iphone and $200

Anyway I agree with you, I treat all people well, men and women, do unto others as you would have them do unto you, or treat people as you expect to be treated. It's basic respect. You can be a man of integrity and still maintain frame and respect, but it's the overly nice guy thing I just can't get down with, sacrificing your own beliefs, opinions or respect for others. I believe in dying for the cause and having absolute conviction in what you believe, some will agree and the others can fvck off.

 

[skinnyguy]

You demand praise? Makes you sound insecure and immature.

The alternative would be to be nice to everyone and expect nothing in return. In other words, be a beta.

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

As a "nice guy" (read: too-nice sap) for years and years who is now finally turning into a nice guy (read: assertive decent male) here are my thoughts.

--

1. There is nice, and then there is "nice". If you're that guy running around doing s*** for girls all the time because you're hoping it will get you laid or some sort of special relationship, you are "nice". You will not get laid, you will just castrate yourself and become a pseudo-gay-best-friend over and over again.

On the other hand, if you are genuinely helping her out in extreme circumstances (her car broke down in a forest or something...) without sexual expectations from her...and otherwise remain focused on your own affairs and asserting yourself as a man with some balls, you are being genuinely nice.

A real nice guy is basically the same thing as what I would consider a decent man. Brave, honest, loyal, friendly and kind...but also assertive and takes no s*** from anyone. And this man must DRAW LINES. For me, that's the bit I was missing.

If you don't draw red lines that you don't cross, girls will see you as more of a sap than a decent lad, and they will start to make you run around like a tw*t.

If a girl asks you to pick a coffee up for her on the way to a date with you, doing that for her is nice and she'll get hotter for you. If a girl is asking you to make her a coffee and go buy some chocs for her so she can eat before she goes on her date with Chad, a proper nice guy will tell her to push off and do it herself (or not even be in that position in the first place). A weak sap who thinks he's "nice" will go buy the chocs and laughingly compliment Chad's d*ck when he hears about it the next day while crying himself to sleep that night.

--

2. Intelligent girls are actually really hot for genuinely nice guys. They know that "bad boys" are dips**ts and are often crap in bed too (because they're selfish). But that, AGAIN, does not mean being a lily-livered sap pretending to be nice. It means being The Don and at the same time treating her with respect and kindness in a way that doesn't emasculate you.

--

3. My ultimate goal that I haven't reached yet, and IMO the goal of any decent lad, should be to have all the swagger and balls of a "bad boy" while also being genuinely kind, honourable, etc.

What do girls like in "bad boys" anyway? Muscles, maverick styling, adventurousness, bravado, CONFIDENCE. These are not traits unique to d*ckheads, they're just common in them because they tend to be arrogant and self-absorbed.

So a nice (as in non-sap nice) guy who has all of that superficial "badass" stuff, plus a decent personality and some intelligence will absolutely slay the lady population if he is confident enough to show off his cool traits.

 

[Trump]

It's not about being nice vs being a jerk.

It's about not changing yourself and the things you like doing in life to think you're pleasing her.

When you lose your purpose in life, and your purpose then becomes a woman, you're screwed.

I don’t know about that. You have to change yourself a bit to please her. We are that good looking and have that many options we can be that strict? Politicians, actors, doctors, and lawyers fly across the Pacific Ocean if they have the possibility to connect with girl they are attracted to, Sosuave members wont lift a finger? Give me a break.

I have purpose in life and lots of money and assets, still can’t get respect because I don’t have a girlfriend. I know other guys who make very little salary and their wife is their life. They have 2 kids from the wife and are extremely extremely happy and get tons and tons of respect. Who would you guys rather be?

 

[RangerMIke]

Don't sacrifice what you want to please her.... That is all you need to remember.

 

[Murk]

I don’t know about that. You have to change yourself a bit to please her. We are that good looking and have that many options we can be that strict? Politicians, actors, doctors, and lawyers fly across the Pacific Ocean if they have the possibility to connect with girl they are attracted to, Sosuave members wont lift a finger? Give me a break.

I'm not flying anywhere for a broad when there are plenty on my doorstep. Having money but no game just makes you a sucker to these vindictive gold digging types and it's a real shame to see guys get taken for a ride when they have money.

 

[ohrein]

Just don't be an archetype. Too nice is weak but being overly detached and mean is weak as well. You want to be a good guy to start and move into being a great guy. A great guy treats people with the respect they deserve and walks when he's not given respect in return. If you don't treat others with respect then you don't deserve respect.

I can promise you if you swing too far either way, you will not have the success you want in the long run. Be great.

 

[logicallefty]

The alternative would be to be nice to everyone and expect nothing in return. In other words, be a beta.

Exactly.

A nice guy does things for people, expects nothing in return, and might say "it's no big deal" or "I am not too busy to do this for you"

A considerate guy will do things for others but might say "Sure. I can do X but I've got a lot going on so if I do X for you how about you give me a hand with Y, that would really help me out a lot".

 

[marmel75]

The alternative would be to be nice to everyone and expect nothing in return. In other words, be a beta.

No the alternative would be to demand respect and not give a crap about people stroking your ego.