Being A Nice Guy, Just Doesn't Work!

[devilkingx2]

as long as you are primarily motivated by personal gain and self-interest you can be as nice as you want.

nothing wrong with doing a nice thing (like helping someone up if they trip and fall), just don't pay a price without receiving a service, anyone who wants a great amount of time effort or money from you has to suck your d!ck as a down payment, you're not a charity

don't take a girl out to a 5 star restaurant and spend $250 unless she gave you the best sex you ever had last night

don't take time out of playing Call of duty WW2 to listen to her complain about her bf all night unless she'll do so while straddling you

it's okay to help a friend with her homework for free but don't spend 3+ hours writing the 10 page essay that she has due tomorrow for her that she was too lazy to do herself unless she spends that 3 hours she saved sending you nudes as gratitude.

etc. etc. etc.

basically, recognize that nothing you do for free will pay off in the long run and only do small things you don't need to be repaid to do for free, that's the key to being a nice guy without being a cuckold/beta/gay friend/girl friend

 

[BeExcellent]

1. There is nice, and then there is "nice". If you're that guy running around doing s*** for girls all the time because you're hoping it will get you laid or some sort of special relationship, you are "nice".

The above quote captures the AGENDA of the "nice" guy. It is the AGENDA that is behind the favors and good behavior that good women find so off putting. And that is because it is transactional in nature, a quid pro quo that women can read a mile away. It is disingenuous at its core, incongruent. It is the "I bought you dinner/took you out/bought you tickets/got you into the venue/bought you a present/bought you flowers/etc. etc. etc. with the associated EXPECTATION of something in return (a kiss or sex or another date most typically). It is repulsive because it is not transparent...not honest. It is creepy and it is desperate and it is pandering all at once. Ick.

It is the man who as a means to an end sends pictures of his lakehouse or his expensive car or openly brags about his social status/access as CURRENCY (and yes these things ARE part of a man's currency....) but a man who is really worth getting to know never leads with his currency. Rather he leads with who he is.

A man is much better off to behave in an unapologetically congruent way. Whatever that is for you and your personality. Some men are the strong silent type, some men are overtly sexually suggestive, some men are social, some men are reserved. Whatever your particular nature happens to be, own it and tailor that to what you want. But approach and interact from a place of who you are not what you have.

As a man becomes more successful the "nice" guy behavior becomes more, not less prominent. Why? Because men often expect their stuff to sell them because they have been too lazy or fearful to develop their own social skills with women. Once they have money they expect the money and the car and the big house and the fancy vacations to attract the women. And attract women these things will. But the type of women they attract will like and be interested in the money and the car and the big house and the fancy vacations...rather than the man himself. And that is not a prescription for a happy life.

I see this all the time in high income circles. And then these "nice" guys have enormous egos as well, so even if you wanted to point out what the real problem is, A.) they generally have no idea about TRP, so therefore are not open to reality and B.) They can't set aside the ego to listen and consider the information in any case. So they remain frustrated, think the market stinks, think there are no good women out there, all the while not understanding that they are shooting themselves in the foot at the outset.