The further I'm down the path of both, the more I realize that in the end I can only pick one. It's better to be good at one thing or another, than to be halfassed at both. Any of you guys have similar experiences?
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Being a DJ versus having a career
- Thread starter Solarium
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Being a DJ is not a job, it's a state of mind. As you go along further on your journey you will realize that this has tremendous positive impact on your entire life - just like being raised by good parents and rich.
You might want to keep reading, or read parts of the DJ bible again. If you think you have to choose between DJ and anything else (but an alternative philosophy), you're just not getting what its all about.
Right this very moment you're either living as a DJ, "nice guy", or some other alternative philosophy.
Right this very moment you're either living as a DJ, "nice guy", or some other alternative philosophy.
comic_relief
Master Don Juan
Actually you achieve everything in life, by living in the sosuavian theorem.
Right now, you think that being a DJ is all about women, while it is about women you must look at it on the whole as a life style of CANI (constant and neverending Improvement).
Being a DJ is living your own life as you want to.
comic_relief
Right now, you think that being a DJ is all about women, while it is about women you must look at it on the whole as a life style of CANI (constant and neverending Improvement).
Being a DJ is living your own life as you want to.
comic_relief
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
So why do you feel that either one needs such a concentrated effort?Solarium said:
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
TheHumanist
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 4, 2007
- Messages
- 380
- Reaction score
- 13
Isn't having a career that you want part of being a DJ?
I think you thinking in some PUA thing putting massive effort in getting as much ass as possible. Look to Backbreaker circle of life thread.
I think you thinking in some PUA thing putting massive effort in getting as much ass as possible. Look to Backbreaker circle of life thread.
It seems like the DJ mentality and being a doctor (humble, serious) don't mix. I'm currently in med school, and playing the girls here in my last 2 semesters got me a bad rep in a way. Here in an enclosed community of about 400 students who see each other every day, gossip spread pretty fast. I'm realizing that friends are more important than your sex life, especially when I may be working with the people who I fvcked with later on. We'll see though, of course I'm not totally abandoning the DJ mentality, since it has its own perks. I'm going to keep reading pook though to avoid going back to AFCish, but while trying to better myself I will also remain modest in a way that I get along with other people (especially other males).Francisco d'Anconia said:
sandman6991
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 5, 2007
- Messages
- 299
- Reaction score
- 2
DJ's SHOULD get along with other males...
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
DJs actually get along with anyone who's not intimidated by them.sandman6991 said:
Last Man Standing
Banned
- Joined
- Mar 18, 2006
- Messages
- 3,956
- Reaction score
- 37
Just Be A Man going to Med school - problem solved!!
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
This sort of plays along with don't bang your coworkers. If your med school community is really that closed, then you should not use your DJ skills on it. Especially when there are plenty of other places to find women.Solarium said:
And being a DJ is all about improving yourself. Becoming a doctor is a great way to do so. I see the two as compliments rather than opposites.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
*Cough*(Bullsh1t)*Cough*Solarium said:
You've just learned the lesson why a DJ should not go through with hooking up with anyone in a small town or at work. Being popular is one thing, getting the reputation of a player is another. Oh yeah, same goes for when you do your residency; stay away from the nurses! They can easily make your life a living hell.:nervous:Solarium said:
Last edited:
KillingTime
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 21, 2004
- Messages
- 341
- Reaction score
- 2
"DJ" is just a term, deep down the root of the material at sosuave is about self-improvement esp. in the self-esteem/self-respect area, on this site it's related to women as the goal but true self-confidence is something that in general will enhance your entire life.
If your thinking about constantly going out and picking up women, that's a whole different thing, hell in a place serving enough alcohol pretty much anyone can achieve it.
The whole "DJ" idea is about developing your best qualities, which include having a good self-esteem, being able to be assertive etc.
I consider my father a real "alpha male" if you will... does he sleep around? No, is his new wife hot? No. He's just himself, he's not afraid to speak his mind, he's a happy guy and enjoys his life... that's what it all comes down to IMO.
If your thinking about constantly going out and picking up women, that's a whole different thing, hell in a place serving enough alcohol pretty much anyone can achieve it.
The whole "DJ" idea is about developing your best qualities, which include having a good self-esteem, being able to be assertive etc.
I consider my father a real "alpha male" if you will... does he sleep around? No, is his new wife hot? No. He's just himself, he's not afraid to speak his mind, he's a happy guy and enjoys his life... that's what it all comes down to IMO.
backbreaker
Master Don Juan
i'd like to think I am an example that you can't have one without the other.
DJ is a sate of mind. a way of life. not playing women.
I have 1 GF right now. If I left her, i can have a date in 2 days. I can go to Dubai for the next year, come back and have a date within 2 days.
Being a DJ partly is not ****ing x amoutn of women, it's knowing that that part of your life isn't a concern.
DJ is a sate of mind. a way of life. not playing women.
I have 1 GF right now. If I left her, i can have a date in 2 days. I can go to Dubai for the next year, come back and have a date within 2 days.
Being a DJ partly is not ****ing x amoutn of women, it's knowing that that part of your life isn't a concern.
Kev07
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 2, 2006
- Messages
- 1,706
- Reaction score
- 9
So according to you, I guess successful businessmen, any successful man only gets laid because they have money right?
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
spesmilitis
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 3, 2006
- Messages
- 1,490
- Reaction score
- 6
So don't DJ your school mates. Go out to bars/clubs/parties.Solarium said:
Your post doesn't make any sense. Are you working on your job every Friday and Saturday night? Very very few people are. In fact, if you take some time to unwind on weekend nights, you can probably release a little stress and be in a better frame of mind during the week.
It sounds like you are making excuses.
It sounds like you are making excuses.
Solarium said:
You can do both but you are right in focussing on one area of your life and improving it is easier then focussing in on two. Men are very talented at focussing in on a single goal. Multitasking is a talent women have naturally but comes more difficultly to men. Good luck in your deciding what you want to spend your time working on right now, building a business, a sex life, a social circle, or whatsayou.