The further I'm down the path of both, the more I realize that in the end I can only pick one. It's better to be good at one thing or another, than to be halfassed at both. Any of you guys have similar experiences?
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Being a DJ versus having a career
- Thread starter Solarium
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Being a DJ is not a job, it's a state of mind. As you go along further on your journey you will realize that this has tremendous positive impact on your entire life - just like being raised by good parents and rich.
You might want to keep reading, or read parts of the DJ bible again. If you think you have to choose between DJ and anything else (but an alternative philosophy), you're just not getting what its all about.
Right this very moment you're either living as a DJ, "nice guy", or some other alternative philosophy.
Right this very moment you're either living as a DJ, "nice guy", or some other alternative philosophy.
comic_relief
Master Don Juan
Actually you achieve everything in life, by living in the sosuavian theorem.
Right now, you think that being a DJ is all about women, while it is about women you must look at it on the whole as a life style of CANI (constant and neverending Improvement).
Being a DJ is living your own life as you want to.
comic_relief
Right now, you think that being a DJ is all about women, while it is about women you must look at it on the whole as a life style of CANI (constant and neverending Improvement).
Being a DJ is living your own life as you want to.
comic_relief
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
So why do you feel that either one needs such a concentrated effort?Solarium said:
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
TheHumanist
Senior Don Juan
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Isn't having a career that you want part of being a DJ?
I think you thinking in some PUA thing putting massive effort in getting as much ass as possible. Look to Backbreaker circle of life thread.
I think you thinking in some PUA thing putting massive effort in getting as much ass as possible. Look to Backbreaker circle of life thread.
It seems like the DJ mentality and being a doctor (humble, serious) don't mix. I'm currently in med school, and playing the girls here in my last 2 semesters got me a bad rep in a way. Here in an enclosed community of about 400 students who see each other every day, gossip spread pretty fast. I'm realizing that friends are more important than your sex life, especially when I may be working with the people who I fvcked with later on. We'll see though, of course I'm not totally abandoning the DJ mentality, since it has its own perks. I'm going to keep reading pook though to avoid going back to AFCish, but while trying to better myself I will also remain modest in a way that I get along with other people (especially other males).Francisco d'Anconia said:
sandman6991
Senior Don Juan
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DJ's SHOULD get along with other males...
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
DJs actually get along with anyone who's not intimidated by them.sandman6991 said:
Last Man Standing
Banned
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Just Be A Man going to Med school - problem solved!!
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
This sort of plays along with don't bang your coworkers. If your med school community is really that closed, then you should not use your DJ skills on it. Especially when there are plenty of other places to find women.Solarium said:
And being a DJ is all about improving yourself. Becoming a doctor is a great way to do so. I see the two as compliments rather than opposites.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
*Cough*(Bullsh1t)*Cough*Solarium said:
You've just learned the lesson why a DJ should not go through with hooking up with anyone in a small town or at work. Being popular is one thing, getting the reputation of a player is another. Oh yeah, same goes for when you do your residency; stay away from the nurses! They can easily make your life a living hell.:nervous:Solarium said:
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KillingTime
Senior Don Juan
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"DJ" is just a term, deep down the root of the material at sosuave is about self-improvement esp. in the self-esteem/self-respect area, on this site it's related to women as the goal but true self-confidence is something that in general will enhance your entire life.
If your thinking about constantly going out and picking up women, that's a whole different thing, hell in a place serving enough alcohol pretty much anyone can achieve it.
The whole "DJ" idea is about developing your best qualities, which include having a good self-esteem, being able to be assertive etc.
I consider my father a real "alpha male" if you will... does he sleep around? No, is his new wife hot? No. He's just himself, he's not afraid to speak his mind, he's a happy guy and enjoys his life... that's what it all comes down to IMO.
If your thinking about constantly going out and picking up women, that's a whole different thing, hell in a place serving enough alcohol pretty much anyone can achieve it.
The whole "DJ" idea is about developing your best qualities, which include having a good self-esteem, being able to be assertive etc.
I consider my father a real "alpha male" if you will... does he sleep around? No, is his new wife hot? No. He's just himself, he's not afraid to speak his mind, he's a happy guy and enjoys his life... that's what it all comes down to IMO.
backbreaker
Master Don Juan
i'd like to think I am an example that you can't have one without the other.
DJ is a sate of mind. a way of life. not playing women.
I have 1 GF right now. If I left her, i can have a date in 2 days. I can go to Dubai for the next year, come back and have a date within 2 days.
Being a DJ partly is not ****ing x amoutn of women, it's knowing that that part of your life isn't a concern.
DJ is a sate of mind. a way of life. not playing women.
I have 1 GF right now. If I left her, i can have a date in 2 days. I can go to Dubai for the next year, come back and have a date within 2 days.
Being a DJ partly is not ****ing x amoutn of women, it's knowing that that part of your life isn't a concern.
Kev07
Master Don Juan
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So according to you, I guess successful businessmen, any successful man only gets laid because they have money right?
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
spesmilitis
Master Don Juan
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So don't DJ your school mates. Go out to bars/clubs/parties.Solarium said:
Your post doesn't make any sense. Are you working on your job every Friday and Saturday night? Very very few people are. In fact, if you take some time to unwind on weekend nights, you can probably release a little stress and be in a better frame of mind during the week.
It sounds like you are making excuses.
It sounds like you are making excuses.
Solarium said:
You can do both but you are right in focussing on one area of your life and improving it is easier then focussing in on two. Men are very talented at focussing in on a single goal. Multitasking is a talent women have naturally but comes more difficultly to men. Good luck in your deciding what you want to spend your time working on right now, building a business, a sex life, a social circle, or whatsayou.