"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

Been seperated for 30 days..next step

Desdinova

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 15, 2004
Messages
11,680
Reaction score
4,876
Counselling is just a way to drag out the ending of a relationship. In most cases, the couple doesn't stay together. It's not often that I hear counselling has helped someone's relationship. Just like in divorces where the lawyers are the true winners, counsellors are the ones who win in the end. They're profiting from your 5hitty relationship decisions.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

jaymbrs

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 27, 2017
Messages
1,966
Reaction score
1,969
Age
39
This dude never even came back to his own thread.
 

Shortstreet

New Member
Joined
Jan 11, 2020
Messages
9
Reaction score
7
Age
65
This dude never even came back to his own thread.
Just taking it all in..reading and listening...guess I will call it growing with what everyone is stating..reason they are stating as they learnt the hard..just the way I am learning!!
 

GT40

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 29, 2016
Messages
348
Reaction score
219
Age
54
Location
Canada
Go in with an open mind.
Allow her to talk.
Keep the conversation balanced.
Make your points without the blame game.

if it’s them two against one. Call them on it
 

Shortstreet

New Member
Joined
Jan 11, 2020
Messages
9
Reaction score
7
Age
65
Go in with an open mind.
Allow her to talk.
Keep the conversation balanced.
Make your points without the blame game.

if it’s them two against one. Call them on it

Ok so went for our first session, basically did exactly what GT40 advised. I let her do most of the talking. And it was not a blame game as we both am tired of that. We both admitted we want this to work out and be a couple again. Next appointment is today and I am thinking it will be more my turn to talk but, again no blame game.. just more of a discussion. We decided to go with a Relationship therapist instead of a counselor. If your not sure of the difference google search it.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Dash Riprock

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 16, 2005
Messages
1,848
Reaction score
3,699
Location
Mile High City, USA
Ok so went for our first session, basically did exactly what GT40 advised. I let her do most of the talking. And it was not a blame game as we both am tired of that. We both admitted we want this to work out and be a couple again. Next appointment is today and I am thinking it will be more my turn to talk but, again no blame game.. just more of a discussion. We decided to go with a Relationship therapist instead of a counselor. If your not sure of the difference google search it.
I just don't get this.

Unless you have kids, WHY in hell do you want to go through all the heavy lifting, negotiations, walking on eggshells, measuring every word, the tension in the house, the counseling sessions, etc ,etc? You could have your FREEDOM to do what ever you want with the rest of your life without the boat anchor down (her) as you try to live a happy life.

Damn, there are SO MANY men out there that think they HAVE TO be in a relationship to be happy. Beta, follower, weak mentality.

Once you break the lock and chains, you would kick yourself in the ass for not doing it sooner. And you have the key to unlock them!

I fear my words will fall on deaf ears or eyes, however.

Good luck to you.
 

Glassguy

Moderator
Joined
Apr 25, 2016
Messages
4,789
Reaction score
8,861
Age
49
Next appointment is today and I am thinking it will be more my turn to talk
Doubtful. Counseling seems very much one sided. Ultimately you will end up on her terms and later wish you had put your foot down or you will end up calling it quits.

Based on OP's first post- he tries to talk and act sensible and she leaves mad. He never did say what caused the separation....that would be important information to have before really digging into this situation.

Unless you have kids, WHY in hell do you want to go through all the heavy lifting, negotiations, walking on eggshells, measuring every word, the tension in the house, the counseling sessions, etc ,etc?
This ^^^^^^.

+1
 

Cesare Cardinali

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 10, 2002
Messages
911
Reaction score
9
Sunk cost. no kids, time to move on. I would ghost on the next counseling session.
 
Top