Been seperated for 30 days..next step

[Desdinova]

Counselling is just a way to drag out the ending of a relationship. In most cases, the couple doesn't stay together. It's not often that I hear counselling has helped someone's relationship. Just like in divorces where the lawyers are the true winners, counsellors are the ones who win in the end. They're profiting from your 5hitty relationship decisions.

 

[jaymbrs]

This dude never even came back to his own thread.

 

[Shortstreet]

This dude never even came back to his own thread.

Just taking it all in..reading and listening...guess I will call it growing with what everyone is stating..reason they are stating as they learnt the hard..just the way I am learning!!

 

[GT40]

Go in with an open mind.
Allow her to talk.
Keep the conversation balanced.
Make your points without the blame game.

if it’s them two against one. Call them on it

 

[Shortstreet]

Go in with an open mind.
Allow her to talk.
Keep the conversation balanced.
Make your points without the blame game.

if it’s them two against one. Call them on it

Ok so went for our first session, basically did exactly what GT40 advised. I let her do most of the talking. And it was not a blame game as we both am tired of that. We both admitted we want this to work out and be a couple again. Next appointment is today and I am thinking it will be more my turn to talk but, again no blame game.. just more of a discussion. We decided to go with a Relationship therapist instead of a counselor. If your not sure of the difference google search it.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Ok so went for our first session, basically did exactly what GT40 advised. I let her do most of the talking. And it was not a blame game as we both am tired of that. We both admitted we want this to work out and be a couple again. Next appointment is today and I am thinking it will be more my turn to talk but, again no blame game.. just more of a discussion. We decided to go with a Relationship therapist instead of a counselor. If your not sure of the difference google search it.

I just don't get this.

Unless you have kids, WHY in hell do you want to go through all the heavy lifting, negotiations, walking on eggshells, measuring every word, the tension in the house, the counseling sessions, etc ,etc? You could have your FREEDOM to do what ever you want with the rest of your life without the boat anchor down (her) as you try to live a happy life.

Damn, there are SO MANY men out there that think they HAVE TO be in a relationship to be happy. Beta, follower, weak mentality.

Once you break the lock and chains, you would kick yourself in the ass for not doing it sooner. And you have the key to unlock them!

I fear my words will fall on deaf ears or eyes, however.

Good luck to you.

 

[lamath]

Dread Game man......**** counseling

 

[Glassguy]

Next appointment is today and I am thinking it will be more my turn to talk

Doubtful. Counseling seems very much one sided. Ultimately you will end up on her terms and later wish you had put your foot down or you will end up calling it quits.

Based on OP's first post- he tries to talk and act sensible and she leaves mad. He never did say what caused the separation....that would be important information to have before really digging into this situation.

Unless you have kids, WHY in hell do you want to go through all the heavy lifting, negotiations, walking on eggshells, measuring every word, the tension in the house, the counseling sessions, etc ,etc?

This ^^^^^^.

+1

 

[Cesare Cardinali]

Sunk cost. no kids, time to move on. I would ghost on the next counseling session.