Becoming a father

[englishman]

it is an adventure, sometimes is it extremely hard, and then sometimes it is extremely fun !

Yes, I agree like the time my teenage daughter called up the child help line and made up a story that I was drunk and beating on her! still trying to pull that knife out of my back. Early years were good though, also theres an unexplainable element to being a parent, kind of like Hendrix said "are you experienced?" I think it was Hendrix. Good luck, keep a tight reign on him later on though.

 

[WestCoaster]

Because he plans on supporting the little one. Personal accountability doesn't seem to be the norm nowadays so hearing a guy say that he's actually going to help support his own isn't a bad thing.

You don't know that. I've heard that so many times and in the end, the guy (or gal) doesn't hold up their end of the bargin. It's much better for the kid to have to coupled parents (be them married or not, but at least together).

The last thing this world needs is more single parents, especially 26 year old ones who throw away their lives. My guess is he (or she) bails on the support after a couple years. Trust me, one will drop the ball, especially after chickie finds herself another boy toy. I've seen this drill a million times.

 

[penkitten]

Yes, I agree like the time my teenage daughter called up the child help line and made up a story that I was drunk and beating on her! still trying to pull that knife out of my back. Early years were good though, also theres an unexplainable element to being a parent, kind of like Hendrix said "are you experienced?" I think it was Hendrix. Good luck, keep a tight reign on him later on though.

ouch!!!!

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

You don't know that.

I have a job that pays 200 a day in tips on a regular night plus 110 regular. So I know I can pay for the kid...

I've heard that so many times and in the end, the guy (or gal) doesn't hold up their end of the bargin.

Perhaps, but isn't it a bit premature to say that about Bonez? I feel alright believing he's a man of his word. His future actions may prove something different, time will tell.

It's much better for the kid to have to coupled parents (be them married or not, but at least together).

Eh, that's questionable. Being married or even coupled causes problems in troubled relationships where the parents stay together for the sake of the children. Not too many people can put aside the pain of the broken relationship and they act bitter toward each other. The children end up suffering anyway, plus they're learning bad relationship skills from the parents.

The last thing this world needs is more single parents, especially 26 year old ones who throw away their lives. My guess is he (or she) bails on the support after a couple years. Trust me, one will drop the ball, especially after chickie finds herself another boy toy. I've seen this drill a million times.

That could happen as easily as they could end up committing to one another. Either way its their lives to do with it as they please. Bonez can start off either with some support or with the world against him. It just seems that some people want to give him support, it's not as if fathers get much of that nowadays.

 

[Bonez]

Don't worry Englishman, I know I have to cut my kid off early. No way I'm going to raise a kid past 16.

Me and the mother are doing good these days. I bring him around town and introduce him to people and talk with my friends on my days off. I'm reading my books to him and everything. So far theres only been one night I wasn't with him and I drank, I think I found a new girl, since me and the mother are and always will be friends. Kinda scared still but I think I'm doing alright but I know I'll need more advice real soon.

Thanks to everybody for the support, didn't expect any from you Francisco:cheer: I'm getting a lot from my classmates especially, half of them wanted boys, but they all have girls so they're basically throwing baby clothes and toys at me right now.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Thanks to everybody for the support, didn't expect any from you Francisco:cheer: I'm getting a lot from my classmates especially, half of them wanted boys, but they all have girls so they're basically throwing baby clothes and toys at me right now.

Hey, what are you trying to say???? :trouble:

But seriously, raising kids nowadays isn't something to be taken lightly and you started the thread saying that you are still in school (good), that you've calculated the funds needed to take care of him and you've got it covered (good), and even though you are nervous, you are confident that you can get the job done (excellent)!

Just don't forget that whatever you do, he's watching and learning from all of your actions. Money isn't going to pay for his growth into manhood; it's going to be your time and your tutelage.

 

[WaterTiger]

Don't worry Englishman, I know I have to cut my kid off early. No way I'm going to raise a kid past 16.

Ummm...If you live in the US, you have to pay child support till age 18. Besides, at age 16 is when he needs a Dad most of all to knock some sense into his teen-aged head. Who's going to teach him to be a DJ? To be a MAN??? His Mommy? (She WILL teach him how to use a condom at least.)

 

[WestCoaster]

Don't worry Englishman, I know I have to cut my kid off early. No way I'm going to raise a kid past 16.

Ah, the true colors come out. Raising a kid often goes past 16. This is a DJ board, I'm not sure why this guy is getting major props for being a 26-year old single parent and sending a kid out into the world without coupled parents.

I'll save my props for responsible people.

 

[Bonez]

I'm glad to see a single word makes such a difference.

I will not SUPPORT a FREELOADER past 16. At least a job, enough for us to split the bill, there is no reason he can't learn to do that by the time he turns 16.

 

[WestCoaster]

I'm not impressed with you.

 

[Bonez]

I'm not impressed with you.

Suit yourself, I will raise my son until he no longer needs me. I'll do my best to raise my son as fast as possible, just in case. Its not only for me, I've made my choices in life, and the only choice I'm making for my son is that when he gets older, he will be able to handle himself. With women, with money, and with his education.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

If a kid is capable of self sufficient at 16 why shouldn't s/he leave home? There are universities with 16 year old freshmen living on campuses in many cities. Also many are choosing to become exchange students in order to study abroad. Plus if they are getting work experience why hold them back by making them live at home? If you've taught them about the world and they're self sufficient why not let them go explore?

 

[WestCoaster]

It's not the age thing, it's the attitude. Won't commit to the mother, "when the son no longer needs me" stuff. Actually sons need fathers most of their lives, not necessarily for money, but for many other things.

It appears the kid is a commodity, not a person. Plus, how many freaking fathers-to-be are thinking about that they can't wait until the kid is 16? Most I know are just getting ready for the first few years of the kid's life. Then again, most I know are fully involved with the kid, i.e., they're living at the kid's home.

I'm still not sure why this guy is getting so many props here. Men should be b-tch slapping this dude. But this board and site has more AFCs than men, so it's to be expected.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

It's not the age thing, it's the attitude. Won't commit to the mother, "when the son no longer needs me" stuff. Actually sons need fathers most of their lives, not necessarily for money, but for many other things.

It appears the kid is a commodity, not a person. Plus, how many freaking fathers-to-be are thinking about that they can't wait until the kid is 16? Most I know are just getting ready for the first few years of the kid's life. Then again, most I know are fully involved with the kid, i.e., they're living at the kid's home.

I'm still not sure why this guy is getting so many props here. Men should be b-tch slapping this dude. But this board and site has more AFCs than men, so it's to be expected.

So what do you suggest Bonez should do in his current situation?

 

[Bonez]

It's not the age thing, it's the attitude. Won't commit to the mother, "when the son no longer needs me" stuff. Actually sons need fathers most of their lives, not necessarily for money, but for many other things.

It appears the kid is a commodity, not a person. Plus, how many freaking fathers-to-be are thinking about that they can't wait until the kid is 16? Most I know are just getting ready for the first few years of the kid's life. Then again, most I know are fully involved with the kid, i.e., they're living at the kid's home.

I'm still not sure why this guy is getting so many props here. Men should be b-tch slapping this dude. But this board and site has more AFCs than men, so it's to be expected.

Sounds like you think I'm going to abandon my kid. When he turns 16 I'm not going to just drop him off in the middle of nowhere and say goodbye.

 

[WaterTiger]

If a kid is capable of self sufficient at 16 why shouldn't s/he leave home? There are universities with 16 year old freshmen living on campuses in many cities. Also many are choosing to become exchange students in order to study abroad. Plus if they are getting work experience why hold them back by making them live at home? If you've taught them about the world and they're self sufficient why not let them go explore?

If the lad is mature enought to handle college/job at 16, GREAT! Go forth and conquor!

HOWEVER... just because he's no longer living at home DOES NOT mean he's an adult, he is still a child in the eyes of the law. His Mom & Dad are still responsible for his welfare. The state is going to be garnishing your wages till his 18th birthday. They don't care if you're "done" raising him or not.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...The state is going to be garnishing your wages till his 18th birthday. They don't care if you're "done" raising him or not.

I think you're missing the point. Bonez is planning on taking care of him.

 

[ElChoclo]

I agree with Westcoaster. The job is for life. What kind of useless life is this kid going to have when he has to fend for himself at 16. Maybe he could have his PhD by then.

Being a father has got nothing to do with paying money. This is a feminazi theory. Money does not equal a father. If you don't get that you don't get any part of the concept. Maybe being a mother means paying money?

Standard Dr Farrell reverse role analysis, for those familiar with his work.

Bonehead has knocked up a skank and boldly committed to paying some money for 16 years. Bravo!

 

[Bonez]

hey guys, I said it already. The edit function doesn't work. I'm going to raise my kid.

I will not support a freeloader though past 16. If half the planet can handle that so can my son. I won't have a 16 year old son who won't go to school, won't work, staying in my home. I'd rather send him to his mother whereever she is in the future and tell her to spend her money on him. Besides, if he turns 16 and he can't follow any of my advice than I'm not raising him, he's going to be the one controlling me.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

hey guys, I said it already. The edit function doesn't work. I'm going to raise my kid....

Leave it alone Bonez. This is a thread about the other guy, the ones who don't raise their children.