oldmanofthesea
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 23, 2018
- Messages
- 1,600
- Reaction score
- 3,308
- Age
- 47
Since his thread is making the rounds, I gave it a read and one thing in particular stood out to me: Confident Persistence.
He talks about how many guys are too quick to next a girl or give-up on a girl for things like rescheduling or occasionally not calling or not texting you back. He says women with medium interest (and even some with high interest) will do that (and I agree) and it's up to you to get a F2F audience with her to turn her interest level up through interaction.
However, he doesn't make any suggestions on this other than outlining things that are generally good principles to follow like not getting mad, not taking it personally, and other internal mindset-based game.
This particular subject: "How to handle a girl who displays any signs below high interest," is very polarizing on this site. I'd say the majority fall into the camp of nexting very quickly. For example, most guys here would never double text a girl even if it's been a week or two. I fall into this category myself but sometimes wonder if I haven't missed out on some opportunities because of it.
Some common reasons I've heard for nexting a girl who demonstrates anything less than high interest:
1. You can't win if both people employ a system (I think Doc love said this)
2. Trying to raise her interest is the wrong frame. She should be pursuing you. You aren't a dancing monkey and can't raise her attraction nor should you wan to try.
3. Generally girls who act this way won't ever be interested so best to not waste your time.
I agree with these points. But, I also know from experience that most 8s and 9s will make it difficult for ANY guy. They live in so much abundance that for them, often there is no such thing as high immediate high interest. It's not that you have to be a dancing monkey for them, they just need time to evaluate you before their interest level increases (assuming you are her type). If you aren't exposed to her regularly through a social group or some other means, getting a date is the only way to do this. 8s and 9s won't often make that easy for you.
So I'm curious to hear from guys who feel they aren't quick to next a girl.... Has it actually paid off, and if so, how often? What guidelines do you set for yourself to be persistent while also avoiding falling into the time-wasting trap, or the chasing trap?
For me, I think the only girl I successfully broke the rules with was a really cute 23yo I dated for a couple weeks. She ended it without good reason so I let it go. But I'd text her once every 12 months. Just a couple texts, before I'd suggest getting together. First year she chatted but ghosted after my date request. The next year she accepted but flaked last minute and ghosted. Third year (she was 26 at this point) she accepted and we ended up hooking up, but then she ghosted the day-of our next date two weeks later.
Except for her, before I was game aware, persistence never paid off for me so I haven't really tried it.
He talks about how many guys are too quick to next a girl or give-up on a girl for things like rescheduling or occasionally not calling or not texting you back. He says women with medium interest (and even some with high interest) will do that (and I agree) and it's up to you to get a F2F audience with her to turn her interest level up through interaction.
However, he doesn't make any suggestions on this other than outlining things that are generally good principles to follow like not getting mad, not taking it personally, and other internal mindset-based game.
This particular subject: "How to handle a girl who displays any signs below high interest," is very polarizing on this site. I'd say the majority fall into the camp of nexting very quickly. For example, most guys here would never double text a girl even if it's been a week or two. I fall into this category myself but sometimes wonder if I haven't missed out on some opportunities because of it.
Some common reasons I've heard for nexting a girl who demonstrates anything less than high interest:
1. You can't win if both people employ a system (I think Doc love said this)
2. Trying to raise her interest is the wrong frame. She should be pursuing you. You aren't a dancing monkey and can't raise her attraction nor should you wan to try.
3. Generally girls who act this way won't ever be interested so best to not waste your time.
I agree with these points. But, I also know from experience that most 8s and 9s will make it difficult for ANY guy. They live in so much abundance that for them, often there is no such thing as high immediate high interest. It's not that you have to be a dancing monkey for them, they just need time to evaluate you before their interest level increases (assuming you are her type). If you aren't exposed to her regularly through a social group or some other means, getting a date is the only way to do this. 8s and 9s won't often make that easy for you.
So I'm curious to hear from guys who feel they aren't quick to next a girl.... Has it actually paid off, and if so, how often? What guidelines do you set for yourself to be persistent while also avoiding falling into the time-wasting trap, or the chasing trap?
For me, I think the only girl I successfully broke the rules with was a really cute 23yo I dated for a couple weeks. She ended it without good reason so I let it go. But I'd text her once every 12 months. Just a couple texts, before I'd suggest getting together. First year she chatted but ghosted after my date request. The next year she accepted but flaked last minute and ghosted. Third year (she was 26 at this point) she accepted and we ended up hooking up, but then she ghosted the day-of our next date two weeks later.
Except for her, before I was game aware, persistence never paid off for me so I haven't really tried it.