"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Bartender with a boyfriend

old_skoolr

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A month ago I got this cute girls number at a club, pretty rapt since it was the first bartender ive ever picked up haha. Anyway been sorta light messaging here and there the past month. I found it shes grown up in the country and moved to the city to study. I did end up asking if she was interested in catching up for coffee some time. Her reply was positive but she told me she had a bf and that it wasnt going to be "date-like" (her words).

I'm just wondering if its worth actually taking her out and if it'll lead anywhere..I'm not after anything serious, since im going overseas soon, just wondering if you guys been in this position before that can offer any advice, or if its just a waste of time.

My thought is that if she was really committed to her bf she wouldnt have given me her number and also kept asking me if i was gna stop by where she works again.

Cheers guys
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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old_skoolr

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PairPlusRoyalFlush said:
Bartenders are notorious attention w-hores.

Fair enough, so theres a chance shes just after some AFC to chase and make her feel important.
 

Uncharted

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Although I agree they are total AW, she agreed to meet you. I would make it something quick like drinks or something. Then just kino her up and make a move. But I mean lay it on heavy. Make her know you are not interested in friends. If she brings up boyfriend just ignore what she says.

Worst-case scenario if she completely rejects you then just be "friends" with her so that you can get free drinks at her bar/club and hook up with her hot friends - bartenders always have hot friends. My brother's girlfriend is a bartender in Manhattan and I've met a few girls through her - all 8.5+. Networking is a good way to find new plates too - they trust you more when their friend vouches for you.
 

j0504s

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Uncharted said:
Although I agree they are total AW, she agreed to meet you. I would make it something quick like drinks or something. Then just kino her up and make a move. But I mean lay it on heavy. Make her know you are not interested in friends. If she brings up boyfriend just ignore what she says.

Worst-case scenario if she completely rejects you then just be "friends" with her so that you can get free drinks at her bar/club and hook up with her hot friends - bartenders always have hot friends. My brother's girlfriend is a bartender in Manhattan and I've met a few girls through her - all 8.5+. Networking is a good way to find new plates too - they trust you more when their friend vouches for you.
this is right on point...Lay it on heavy for sure...girls like this I like to personally pull the "whats your carear ambition?" or "is being a bartender your carear ambition (say sarcasticly)" this help show some quick higher value. but ya dont spend to much time on this b/c she can be a classic AW...she does have a BF so if things dont seem to be working out use her as social proof in the bar that night or meet her friends...in honestly a win win sittuation, just dont go weak at the knees brotha...Good luck
 

Purefilth

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Attention ***** - move on.

Sh'es already squashed ANY chance of you making a move.
I have a BF. This won't be date-like.
Enough people will try to encourage you here and say she is thinking of dating you because she used the word "date".

Burn that Idea. She is all about attention and 'friends'.

Unless you wanna turn her into a 'BFF' and use her as a pivot. Make sure she has hot friends first though. theres nothing worse than finding a girl who only has fat / ugly friends.


This girl though? NO.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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SgtSplacker

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I don't think just getting a girls number means squat. It's all about the attraction. Nothing beats good ol spending time together to gauge a ladies interest.
 

VladPatton

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She blasted any date ideas right off the bat, so, make her your bar connection. Then work your way into her social circle and she what kind of chicks she hangs with. Pretty much all you can do, really.
 

old_skoolr

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Cool cheers for the advice guys, was thinking of meeting for coffee or something low key, coz shes new in town, I told her about this place thats open till late and has some awesome cakes as well (which girls dont like cake lol), she seems pretty keen.

Will give it a shot and get back to you
 

muscleman

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Depends on what your time is worth to you. By bringing up a boyfriend (all attractive girls have SOMETHING going on, the difference is if she's attracted to you she won't mention it) and telling you it won't be 'date-like', your chance of nailing her is already very low. Not impossible, but low. I personally wouldn't even bother, but again that depends on how much free time you have.
 

QuadDeuces

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Awesome, free booze connection, and thats gold here in Australia.

Furthermore never wife up attention ***** bartenders with boyfriends.
We've got enough BPD threads.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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