"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Bartender with a boyfriend

old_skoolr

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A month ago I got this cute girls number at a club, pretty rapt since it was the first bartender ive ever picked up haha. Anyway been sorta light messaging here and there the past month. I found it shes grown up in the country and moved to the city to study. I did end up asking if she was interested in catching up for coffee some time. Her reply was positive but she told me she had a bf and that it wasnt going to be "date-like" (her words).

I'm just wondering if its worth actually taking her out and if it'll lead anywhere..I'm not after anything serious, since im going overseas soon, just wondering if you guys been in this position before that can offer any advice, or if its just a waste of time.

My thought is that if she was really committed to her bf she wouldnt have given me her number and also kept asking me if i was gna stop by where she works again.

Cheers guys
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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old_skoolr

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PairPlusRoyalFlush said:
Bartenders are notorious attention w-hores.

Fair enough, so theres a chance shes just after some AFC to chase and make her feel important.
 

Uncharted

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Although I agree they are total AW, she agreed to meet you. I would make it something quick like drinks or something. Then just kino her up and make a move. But I mean lay it on heavy. Make her know you are not interested in friends. If she brings up boyfriend just ignore what she says.

Worst-case scenario if she completely rejects you then just be "friends" with her so that you can get free drinks at her bar/club and hook up with her hot friends - bartenders always have hot friends. My brother's girlfriend is a bartender in Manhattan and I've met a few girls through her - all 8.5+. Networking is a good way to find new plates too - they trust you more when their friend vouches for you.
 

j0504s

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Uncharted said:
Although I agree they are total AW, she agreed to meet you. I would make it something quick like drinks or something. Then just kino her up and make a move. But I mean lay it on heavy. Make her know you are not interested in friends. If she brings up boyfriend just ignore what she says.

Worst-case scenario if she completely rejects you then just be "friends" with her so that you can get free drinks at her bar/club and hook up with her hot friends - bartenders always have hot friends. My brother's girlfriend is a bartender in Manhattan and I've met a few girls through her - all 8.5+. Networking is a good way to find new plates too - they trust you more when their friend vouches for you.
this is right on point...Lay it on heavy for sure...girls like this I like to personally pull the "whats your carear ambition?" or "is being a bartender your carear ambition (say sarcasticly)" this help show some quick higher value. but ya dont spend to much time on this b/c she can be a classic AW...she does have a BF so if things dont seem to be working out use her as social proof in the bar that night or meet her friends...in honestly a win win sittuation, just dont go weak at the knees brotha...Good luck
 

Purefilth

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Attention ***** - move on.

Sh'es already squashed ANY chance of you making a move.
I have a BF. This won't be date-like.
Enough people will try to encourage you here and say she is thinking of dating you because she used the word "date".

Burn that Idea. She is all about attention and 'friends'.

Unless you wanna turn her into a 'BFF' and use her as a pivot. Make sure she has hot friends first though. theres nothing worse than finding a girl who only has fat / ugly friends.


This girl though? NO.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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SgtSplacker

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I don't think just getting a girls number means squat. It's all about the attraction. Nothing beats good ol spending time together to gauge a ladies interest.
 

VladPatton

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She blasted any date ideas right off the bat, so, make her your bar connection. Then work your way into her social circle and she what kind of chicks she hangs with. Pretty much all you can do, really.
 

old_skoolr

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Cool cheers for the advice guys, was thinking of meeting for coffee or something low key, coz shes new in town, I told her about this place thats open till late and has some awesome cakes as well (which girls dont like cake lol), she seems pretty keen.

Will give it a shot and get back to you
 

muscleman

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Depends on what your time is worth to you. By bringing up a boyfriend (all attractive girls have SOMETHING going on, the difference is if she's attracted to you she won't mention it) and telling you it won't be 'date-like', your chance of nailing her is already very low. Not impossible, but low. I personally wouldn't even bother, but again that depends on how much free time you have.
 

QuadDeuces

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Awesome, free booze connection, and thats gold here in Australia.

Furthermore never wife up attention ***** bartenders with boyfriends.
We've got enough BPD threads.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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