Bar scene, not for me

[guywhoneedshelp]

3% on Long Island

True that; Long Island is the wasteland for sarging. I have succeeded though but it's the worst.

 

[Poonani Maker]

Guys, this is a, great, subject. Let's face it, if we had a Lot of friends who like to go out to bars, we wouldn't be here typing. I've gone to bars 9 times outta 10 alone. The bartenders know who I am, yet here, they kinda don't give a **** that I'm always going alone. They're cool. Another thing about the water ordering. Sometimes I feel a little grumbling from a bartender if I order free water. Maybe I should tip?

I've been approached by girls a few times while sitting alone, yet next to strangers, at the bar. I'll watch TV. How do you make your drink Look alcoholic?

Is it easier to go home with girls or is it easier to have the girls come home with you?

I can Feel when a woman is there to get laid. I feel her wanting my ****.

 

[Smack]

On the average, how many nights do you think a guy actually goes home with a girl, I'd say it's only about 5, maybe 10%.

Depends on many factors, but you're probably right.

 

[rushing dude 123]

Poonani, why make it look alcoholic, believe it or not girls are impressed when u approach them and they ask u what ur drinking ...water HB: wow u only drink water why. then just tell her i don't need alcohol i do the things i want to anyway. Makes u come unique and confident the two keys things that make a man. I use to work in a bar and i would love it when people ordered water, its easy and fast lol, if i was manager maybe i would b annoyed, but do bar tenders giv a dam how much money u giv the company?

if u want to get on bar tenders good side just talk to him thats it.

 

[Jeremymichael]

why not take a newspaper to read at the bar. Chat to the barmaid or tender they normally know people to make introductions. Look relaxed

 

[Smack]

why not take a newspaper to read at the bar. Chat to the barmaid or tender they normally know people to make introductions. Look relaxed

In American they don't go to their locals and ask for a pint of bitter.

 

[Jeremymichael]

i know that silly . Take a magazine or book. Chat to bar tender

 

[Jeremymichael]

actually would be quite funny if you asked for a pint of speckeled hen!

 

[daygameguy]

Tonight I went just to enjoy myself at the local bar. I did have a good time,but didn't come home with anyone. The band played all the great songs though it was much too loud and alcohol was expensive. I've only went a few times and I'm not sure I'll go back. The whole time I felt out of place sitting among the other people who seemed to know each other so well. I couldn't come up with anything to say to anyone.

What should I do differently? I was thinking of going to a different bar, but is everyone so friendly to each other because they go in as a group or are regulars there?

Usually people don't go sarging like us. People usually go out in groups. But you have to start somewhere. Just go out more, be talkative, value yourself, and be friendly to others.

Its best to find your safe sets (small easy to open sets). Then pawn from set to set, increasing social value. Once you have a base set which likes you, you will feel more at ease with other groups in the club.

 

[Mike32ct]

Guys, this is a, great, subject. Let's face it, if we had a Lot of friends who like to go out to bars, we wouldn't be here typing. I've gone to bars 9 times outta 10 alone. The bartenders know who I am, yet here, they kinda don't give a **** that I'm always going alone. They're cool. Another thing about the water ordering. Sometimes I feel a little grumbling from a bartender if I order free water. Maybe I should tip?

I've been approached by girls a few times while sitting alone, yet next to strangers, at the bar. I'll watch TV. How do you make your drink Look alcoholic?

Is it easier to go home with girls or is it easier to have the girls come home with you?

I can Feel when a woman is there to get laid. I feel her wanting my ****.

The easiest way to make your drink look alcoholic is to order it with a lemon or lime. I order Coke with lemon. It could pass as Rum 'n Coke.

 

[Darth]

True that; Long Island is the wasteland for sarging. I have succeeded though but it's the worst.

I think Long Island is the wasteland of life in general. What an overpopulated hellhole...

 

[chinwaggler]

If everyone knew each other, what about 'How do you know Gyrtrude?'

 

[RantinRave]

Get Outta Town!

Vanilla -

I've been reading this forum for probably over a year. I've learned a lot, but never really felt like joining. Your thread forced me to join because I absolutely needed to reply so bad.

I used to have this same debate weekend after weekend with myself. Felt as if I couldn't get my point across in the bar/club and as if girls would turn away before I could even get a 'Heeey..' in. I would confidently go up to at least 10 girls in a night and sometimes get turned down every single freakin' time. Couldn't figure out what I was doing wrong.

Then, one day I was out of town and I applied the same concepts. The first girl I came across .. I hit on. During the day, no alcohol, no bar scene, and she started flirting back! I gave her my number and we hooked up the next night. It was a really great experience. So then I did it the next weekend and it was same result! This is when I actually started building up numbers!

You know what's funny - I still live in the same town and I only probably get a response from 1 out of 50 girls! Depressing, right? No! Because I know these girls are stuck up and aren't worth my time. Anywhere else I go, girls will actually enjoy the attention I give them. I would say when I get out of town I get AT LEAST 1 number for every 5 girls I talk to.

What's my point? Sometimes a local bar isn't the best. For whatever reason. No singles, not the correct age group, not a mingle scene. Try something different. I did and I wouldn't change a thing! New places are exciting and girls can tell you are having a good time. They want to be part of this good time. You can be that guy!

BTW - By my experience ... Pregaming usually does work. I mean not so hammered that you can barely hold a conversation, but drunk enough to have that 'I'm the man and everybody should know it' smile and confident look going on. Don't feel forced to spend money at $9 beer night. I used to be the 'Shot King' (major sucker) I would buy rounds for all my friends and really anyone that could tap me on the shoulder throughout the night. I'd drop insane amounts of money. I actually had to force myself to not bring any credit and only a $10 bill to the bar. This really help my focus on having a good time and hitting on girls! Not to mention I saved boat loads of money. lol.

Let me know if this helps and let us know your results!

 

[Vanilla]

I must be stupid cause I went to the same bar again. I started out feeling good, but the awkward part went into me again for a while until a drunk woman (late 30s) started a convo with me. I took it as interest and while the band was playing started to dance with her.

However, I'm a ****ty dancer, I don't know how to dance with a woman. Her interest level shrunk as she danced with other guys and I just left.

At least the alcohol was cheaper this time around. Should I just move on to another bar? I asked some of the people and they came as a group so naturally they all knew each other.

 

[goodfoot]

Make friends at the bar, and then you will have bar friends.

 

[scottfall]

It seems like your trying to force yourself to have a good time when you go out, dont do that. Go out because you want to go out not because you feel like you have to in order to be a PUA.

If you are in an antisocial mindset you have to take baby steps to being able to handle social situations. Start out slow, build new connections with your family and friends then use that same mentality to talk to people at work or at school. Once you feel good doing that meeting new people at a bar will be no big deal.

 

[Vanilla]

It seems like your trying to force yourself to have a good time when you go out, dont do that. Go out because you want to go out not because you feel like you have to in order to be a PUA.

If you are in an antisocial mindset you have to take baby steps to being able to handle social situations. Start out slow, build new connections with your family and friends then use that same mentality to talk to people at work or at school. Once you feel good doing that meeting new people at a bar will be no big deal.

I was kinda drunk when I posted that, but I agree I've seen some social progress. I started out with no conversation, but last night I was making small talk with people around me. I'm just expecting too much and get pissed if I don't pull tail everytime I go out.

I've been antisocial for years, and forcing myself is probably being seen by others, I will try to be working on that more.

I will take dancing lessons however since that'll help with my confidence.

 

[Vanilla]

Vanilla -

I've been reading this forum for probably over a year. I've learned a lot, but never really felt like joining. Your thread forced me to join because I absolutely needed to reply so bad.

I used to have this same debate weekend after weekend with myself. Felt as if I couldn't get my point across in the bar/club and as if girls would turn away before I could even get a 'Heeey..' in. I would confidently go up to at least 10 girls in a night and sometimes get turned down every single freakin' time. Couldn't figure out what I was doing wrong.

Then, one day I was out of town and I applied the same concepts. The first girl I came across .. I hit on. During the day, no alcohol, no bar scene, and she started flirting back! I gave her my number and we hooked up the next night. It was a really great experience. So then I did it the next weekend and it was same result! This is when I actually started building up numbers!

You know what's funny - I still live in the same town and I only probably get a response from 1 out of 50 girls! Depressing, right? No! Because I know these girls are stuck up and aren't worth my time. Anywhere else I go, girls will actually enjoy the attention I give them. I would say when I get out of town I get AT LEAST 1 number for every 5 girls I talk to.

What's my point? Sometimes a local bar isn't the best. For whatever reason. No singles, not the correct age group, not a mingle scene. Try something different. I did and I wouldn't change a thing! New places are exciting and girls can tell you are having a good time. They want to be part of this good time. You can be that guy!

BTW - By my experience ... Pregaming usually does work. I mean not so hammered that you can barely hold a conversation, but drunk enough to have that 'I'm the man and everybody should know it' smile and confident look going on. Don't feel forced to spend money at $9 beer night. I used to be the 'Shot King' (major sucker) I would buy rounds for all my friends and really anyone that could tap me on the shoulder throughout the night. I'd drop insane amounts of money. I actually had to force myself to not bring any credit and only a $10 bill to the bar. This really help my focus on having a good time and hitting on girls! Not to mention I saved boat loads of money. lol.

Let me know if this helps and let us know your results!

Well I took your advice, I went to a different bar and I was surprised at how many younger people were at the other bar. Granted it's farther, but I got a better vibe when I started wandering in.

The only problem I face is fitting in with others. I made small talk, but eventually felt alone in the bar. Again, everyone seemed to chat with each other like they came in their own groups. I seem to have a charm with older ladies. I need to find a cheap bar, this one had a $15 minimum, was hard to down all that alcohol in one hour.

Funny story actually, I c0ckblocked one of the guys by accident. Now that I think of it, I should've asked if they knew each other. Live and learn I guess.

I'll keep this thread updated with my trips to bars to better myself and if anyone wants to chime in, feel free. I will take your advice with me to the bars.

 

[Poonani Maker]

A lot of guys, especially college and/or frat boys, seem creepy when I attend those venues, yet they get the women, Sometimes, while behaving like idiots. Just behave like an idiot, sometimes it works.

 

[Vanilla]

Well I tried another bar and once again failed.

I don't know if I can keep this up. I get all hyped up at home, dressed up really nice, looking fantastic. I pregame, drink a beer before heading out to relax then make chit chat with the bouncer. When I get inside the bar, I get a beer and almost instantly I freeze up. I don't know why this keeps happening. This time I just kept watching the TV, hoping a girl would come by next to me so I could initiate some conversation, even though there's nothing I can come up with other than "hi".

Once again, people come in and it seems that they all know each other so well. I can't even make small talk with the bartender, and the whole time I felt like leaving the place and once I do, I feel so depressed driving home (maybe it's the alcohol doing it).

Should I just stop all together and try day game? Or is there some big secret that I'm not aware of for making conversation?