"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Balancing the need to lead and to be a challenge

S

SmoothTalker

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Hey, just something I wanted to discuss.

We all know that its vital to always lead in relationships with women. However, we also know the benefits of being a challenge, and how sweet it is when she is the one chasing you.

But these two ideas are slightly conflicting. If you take the lead and pursue her, she is no longer chasing you.

If you stay a challenge and make her work for you, she has the initiative and is the one leading, to an extent.

What have you guys found to be the ideal balance?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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WC2

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These are two different concepts that work in harmony w/ each other in my opinion. You take the lead by showing her what it is that you want, but you STILL lead by letting her know you don't need it. Women DO want men who will confront them head on. Women DON'T want men who need women.

For instance, you see a woman out at the club who catches your eye. Without hesitation you take the lead and introduce yourself. You get to know each other for a few minutes, then tell her that it was nice meeting her and maybe you'll talk later. Effectively, you just showed her that you lead because you don't need her company the whole night. You have other things to do, places to be. But now at least she knows that theres some attraction between you and her. Hell, you just approached her and she doesn't have a goddamn clue who you are; shes thinking he must have some attraction towards me, but hes not really going out on a limb to get me in the sack- I should get to know him better so he does want to get me in the sack!

No, but really. Leading doesn't have to mean hanging on a woman. It simply means being confident in yourself and doing what it is you want to do.
 
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SmoothTalker

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What you say makes sense. However I was not really thinking about the club approach context as much as with girls you know better. Specifically, for example there is a girl you have been going no contact on because of a previous issue, and now they are actively chasing you. You're considering giving them another chance but having them making the effort is working well so far, you don't want to lose that by changing your behaviour and suddenly trying to schedule a date with them.

Should you agree when they basically ask you out? I'd say yes, but then that's giving them the lead.
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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