"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Read more...

Back to square 1

showoff3civic

New Member
Joined
Aug 28, 2006
Messages
3
Reaction score
0
Hey guys been a member for a long time and have not ever posted here. Back in 2006 I used the forum to get some decent game before I met my g/f of the past 2 1/2 years. We just broke up and I am dumb founded because it seems like it has been so long and I am not quite ready to move on but I am. Anyways, My cousin and I were in starbucks the other day and I saw this attractive young lady (i am 25 btw). I said to myself I am going to talk to her, then it hit me, I started getting nervous and doubting myself. I ended up not doing it because I chickened out, the rest of the night i kept kicking myself in the ass because I have never had the issue of talking to people. I am in sales for god sakes! Anybody have any tips to keep me from doing this again, I know I can do it I still cannot find out why I froze! Also where is good places to meet girls because I live in vermont...... seems like the barren waste land with snow, it seems like everywhere I go there are highschool girls everywhere but nobody my age. I do not want to go the bar route but maybe I can pick up some pointers to help me pick up girls at the bar.

Thanks in advance,
Jroll
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

Dannyrt34

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 26, 2006
Messages
684
Reaction score
20
Age
40
Location
Belle Vernon, PA
showoff3civic said:
I do not want to go the bar route but maybe I can pick up some pointers to help me pick up girls at the bar.
I have 3 field reports on here from the bar in the last 3 weeks, I don't feel like finding them, haha. But maybe you can do a search.

Well, since you've been out of the game for a while, it might take a bit of effort to find your old self again. Just go out and practice as often as you can. Different approaches work differently for everyone, but I have found that it seems like situational openers work great for most.

With situational openers, you can usually pick out anything from you're environment.

For example, that girl at starbucks. You could have walked up to her and said "Hey, I'm in the mood for something sweet, what coffee do you recommend?" When she gives you her opinion, then perhaps you could have asked "What do you like about that one?"

These are OPEN ENDED questions, she can't answer with a yes or no, they work great. Plus they let her talk about herself and her own opinions, which women love doing. And after these two lines you can usually switch the conversation up into anything you want. If things go well, you throw in some flirty lines.

Once you realize how easy it is, you'll wonder why you ever thought it was hard. You may always be nervous, but you can still always get better!
 

showoff3civic

New Member
Joined
Aug 28, 2006
Messages
3
Reaction score
0
Dannyrt34 said:
I have 3 field reports on here from the bar in the last 3 weeks, I don't feel like finding them, haha. But maybe you can do a search.

Well, since you've been out of the game for a while, it might take a bit of effort to find your old self again. Just go out and practice as often as you can. Different approaches work differently for everyone, but I have found that it seems like situational openers work great for most.

With situational openers, you can usually pick out anything from you're environment.

For example, that girl at starbucks. You could have walked up to her and said "Hey, I'm in the mood for something sweet, what coffee do you recommend?" When she gives you her opinion, then perhaps you could have asked "What do you like about that one?"

These are OPEN ENDED questions, she can't answer with a yes or no, they work great. Plus they let her talk about herself and her own opinions, which women love doing. And after these two lines you can usually switch the conversation up into anything you want. If things go well, you throw in some flirty lines.

Once you realize how easy it is, you'll wonder why you ever thought it was hard. You may always be nervous, but you can still always get better!
good words thanks for the advice, tomorrow im going hunting hehehe see what there is downtown. I will try your advice since i love starbucks so much!
 
Joined
Jan 13, 2009
Messages
163
Reaction score
6
Location
New York
showoff3civic said:
Anybody have any tips to keep me from doing this again, I know I can do it I still cannot find out why I froze! Also where is good places to meet girls because I live in vermont......
Danny's right. Just use the world around you and "feel her out." Unless she's giving you signals that she's already interested in you (staring, playing with the hair, standing extremely close to you), say something that will allow you to gauge her level of interest in you. Even if its just "Hello" and a smile. If she shields herself away, she's not interested. If she is just friendly, proceed (she could be interested or maybe she's just being polite. If she becomes flirty, definitely proceed.

Although Vermont is small, I've definitely messed around with some VT females :rockon: (Burlington to be exact).

You'll get it. Just keep practicing and stay social
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

Dannyrt34

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 26, 2006
Messages
684
Reaction score
20
Age
40
Location
Belle Vernon, PA
showoff3civic said:
good words thanks for the advice, tomorrow im going hunting hehehe see what there is downtown. I will try your advice since i love starbucks so much!
Haha. Good luck bud! Keep us updated. We'll be here to listen if things go well (or bad).
 
Top