Glassguy
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Let me start by saying this: You will probably never totally eliminate women flaking or canceling on you for many different reasons. But you can certainly cut the amount of times this happens to a very low percentage.
Since this could become a really long topic I will try to minimize it with what I think are the most simple and effective ways to lower your flake/cancels.
First you have to understand that flakes/canceling happens for very specific reasons:
1.) She has low interest or you pushed her into agreeing to the date so she didnt have to tell you "no". This is by far what I believe to be the reason for most flakes/cancels. Very self explanatory. You will normally just get a "Sorry cant make it" text with no more details. Thats ok, just respond back "OK" and be done with it. Consider she did you a favor. No longer are you going to sit there spending $30-$50 on some drinks and appetizers while she fantasizes about the dude she really wants to bang.
2.) She got a better offer (in her eyes). In today's dating game most women are talking to many different guys. Since they love attention they will set up a date with a guy knowing that if the guy they are more attracted to, for whatever reason, offers to do something with her during that same time she will cancel on you. It is what it is and not much you can do about it. There are definitely more attractive guys than me, wealthier guys than me, etc. Same as above- you handle it with an "OK" and move on.
3.) Something truly came up. It happens. People get sick. People sometimes get called into work. Whatever it may be you will at least almost always get a legitimate explanation if this is the case. And she will almost always give her availability for you to reschedule (big red flag if she doesnt). You simply say "OK" and if she reaches out and offers another date, you can decide if that works for you.
So how do you minimize these things from happening? I will try to keep it short and I can later go into more detail about each one if asked to do so. Remember, this is what I do and what works for ME. Does it always work? No. Does it work most of the time? Yes.
1.) Screening: I am very picky about who I choose to go out with as I still date a couple of plates and have limited time to add more to the rotation. If its obvious through some texts/calls that we really dont have much in common or there isnt a decent vibe, I dont ask them out. I just move on. If you arent feeling it, she probably isnt either.
2.) Dont let her screen you out: A woman's natural tendency is to find ways to disqualify you. Read that again. Everything you say is either ammo to build her interest or lower it. You build it by telling her all the great things about you, but by saying just enough to sound interesting, witty, adventurous and fun. Tell her just enough to know a tiny bit more about you when she asks you questins, etc. You kill it by saying things that might be on her list of things that are instant disqualification on her list of things she wont deal with in a sexual partner.
Some things that I reveal early on: I own a business but I dont go into detail. I have numerous hobbies- golf, boating, etc. I have a lot of friends. All of these things are taken positively with any woman. I have never had a woman say "Sorry, I dont date guys that own their own businesses'. Or "Sorry, I dont date guys that are active". That would be silly.
But you can say things that will cross you off based on what she is looking for.
Examples:
She asks "what are you looking for?". Very common. You can say "Looking for something casual" or "looking for a serious relationship". The problem is this: If you say you are looking for something casual, she may disqualify you because she is at least open to casual dating as long as there is a possibility of it becoming a more serious thing and she doesnt want to waste time with someone just wanting to hook up and vise versa. So you want your answer to appeal to the masses.
Learn to give answers that jump her questions. "What are you looking for?"- "I am just enjoying the single life and not in any rush for something serious but open to that happening with the right person". I just checked both boxes on her list.
She may be religious (but they still love to fvck too) and she asks "Do you drink?". My answer is always "I enjoy a cold beer every now and then but I try to not get too crazy
". Again, its a middle of the road answer.
And answers like this reveal a little about you but you still remain a mystery. That is the key.
Most guys screen themselves out by doing one of several things:
1.) They over text and they reveal way too much information about themselves. I like some communication but once the date is set I typically only respond back to when she reaches out.
2.) They are way too available through text. This shows they have no life and if they are always available, the chick thinks there must be something wrong with them.
3.) They show desperate and needy behavior instead of responding indifferently to her texts. This is a date killer and will cause instant flakes.
I am the product that sells itself on a date. Once I get a chick out, it is really rare that she isnt asking "when can I see you again" after the first date. I can (and have) however do things to kill her attraction/interest by doing the above things. So I like to remain a mystery after the date is set and I continue that through the dating process. They find out a little about me at a time. So they have to keep coming back to find out more. Does that make sense? Give them crumbs.
A starving cat will hunt harder than one that has its belly full.
So now that I have told you reasons why you are potentially disqualifying yourself through the 3 things above, you must realize how this turns into a flake:
A woman will not come out and say "I dont think we are a good match". Instead she will just not show up for the date or cancel last minute. The reason why women do this is because they avoid confrontation and its just easier for them compared to telling you the truth and then dealing with a barrage of questions as to why she feels that way.
So you need to realize why they flake and also realize things you can do to prevent it.
1.) Remain mysterious. Give as little information as possible when she asks questions. Do not act like you're hiding something bad, just give vague answers that cover the masses.
2.) Do NOT be available all of the time. You should have purpose, a life, career, hobbies, OTHER WOMEN, etc. If you dont, at least act like you do.
3.) Learn to give vague answers to her questions.
So now that I have talked about how to avoid her from disqualifying you, lets talk about when I disqualify a woman. This is even more important because I do not want to waste my time.
So you have the date set (and I recommend always setting a date within 3-4 days of inviting them out with you...a week or more out really raises the flake % for various reasons we can discuss later) so what do you need to look for?
1.) I look for lack of interest responses. "ok lol", "we'll see", etc is garbage. I will instantly stop responding and see if she reaches back out. An interested woman will ask YOU questions through text because she is interested. Handle her questions as I already discussed above.
2.) Phone call: I always call a chick the day before the date. ALWAYS. Especially if its OLD, someone I started chatting with on social media, etc. I do this for a very specific reason: For one to see if she answers and secondly, to see if there is decent convo. I limit it to about 5 minutes and then break off the call. I typically tell them (if I have never met them in real life) that I wanted to make sure they arent "some old man living in the basement screwing with people on the internet eating cheetos: before we meet up. Its light and witty and also signals that I wanted to screen them before I invest some of my busy schedule to meeting them for a drink.
If the chick doesnt answer but texts back instantly and says "whats up?" I just tell them to give me a quick call back when they are free. If she doesnt call back, I dip.
If she does call back and seems boring as shyte I will probably cancel the date (unless she is smoking hot).
As long as she is matching interested effort and sounds promising on the phone, I will go ahead with the date.
I cannot tell you how many women I have stopped responding to because they just showed a lack of interest. Sure they would text and respond back like clockwork. But they didnt show too much promise in their enthusiasm. Some reach back out (and normally with much more enthusiasm the second time around) and some dont. Its ok either way.
I could go into an entire thread about women that respond back to date offers with "We'll see", "Ok lol", "I'll let you know". But I am not going to waste time on those as they are instant dismissals for me. I dont even withdraw the offer. I just give no response back to that garbage. And of course those that reach back out after I have disappeared normally put a little more effort into it the second time around.
Hopefully this helps a little.
@Amante Silvestre and others can feel free to add to this. Like I said, this is what I do and it works well for me. I think I've had 3 flakes/cancels in the last year but based on how many dates I go on, its a super small percentage. And even then I had a backup and didnt spend my time sulking about some chick that canceled. I just hung out with someone else.
Happy Hunting.
Since this could become a really long topic I will try to minimize it with what I think are the most simple and effective ways to lower your flake/cancels.
First you have to understand that flakes/canceling happens for very specific reasons:
1.) She has low interest or you pushed her into agreeing to the date so she didnt have to tell you "no". This is by far what I believe to be the reason for most flakes/cancels. Very self explanatory. You will normally just get a "Sorry cant make it" text with no more details. Thats ok, just respond back "OK" and be done with it. Consider she did you a favor. No longer are you going to sit there spending $30-$50 on some drinks and appetizers while she fantasizes about the dude she really wants to bang.
2.) She got a better offer (in her eyes). In today's dating game most women are talking to many different guys. Since they love attention they will set up a date with a guy knowing that if the guy they are more attracted to, for whatever reason, offers to do something with her during that same time she will cancel on you. It is what it is and not much you can do about it. There are definitely more attractive guys than me, wealthier guys than me, etc. Same as above- you handle it with an "OK" and move on.
3.) Something truly came up. It happens. People get sick. People sometimes get called into work. Whatever it may be you will at least almost always get a legitimate explanation if this is the case. And she will almost always give her availability for you to reschedule (big red flag if she doesnt). You simply say "OK" and if she reaches out and offers another date, you can decide if that works for you.
So how do you minimize these things from happening? I will try to keep it short and I can later go into more detail about each one if asked to do so. Remember, this is what I do and what works for ME. Does it always work? No. Does it work most of the time? Yes.
1.) Screening: I am very picky about who I choose to go out with as I still date a couple of plates and have limited time to add more to the rotation. If its obvious through some texts/calls that we really dont have much in common or there isnt a decent vibe, I dont ask them out. I just move on. If you arent feeling it, she probably isnt either.
2.) Dont let her screen you out: A woman's natural tendency is to find ways to disqualify you. Read that again. Everything you say is either ammo to build her interest or lower it. You build it by telling her all the great things about you, but by saying just enough to sound interesting, witty, adventurous and fun. Tell her just enough to know a tiny bit more about you when she asks you questins, etc. You kill it by saying things that might be on her list of things that are instant disqualification on her list of things she wont deal with in a sexual partner.
Some things that I reveal early on: I own a business but I dont go into detail. I have numerous hobbies- golf, boating, etc. I have a lot of friends. All of these things are taken positively with any woman. I have never had a woman say "Sorry, I dont date guys that own their own businesses'. Or "Sorry, I dont date guys that are active". That would be silly.
But you can say things that will cross you off based on what she is looking for.
Examples:
She asks "what are you looking for?". Very common. You can say "Looking for something casual" or "looking for a serious relationship". The problem is this: If you say you are looking for something casual, she may disqualify you because she is at least open to casual dating as long as there is a possibility of it becoming a more serious thing and she doesnt want to waste time with someone just wanting to hook up and vise versa. So you want your answer to appeal to the masses.
Learn to give answers that jump her questions. "What are you looking for?"- "I am just enjoying the single life and not in any rush for something serious but open to that happening with the right person". I just checked both boxes on her list.
She may be religious (but they still love to fvck too) and she asks "Do you drink?". My answer is always "I enjoy a cold beer every now and then but I try to not get too crazy
". Again, its a middle of the road answer.And answers like this reveal a little about you but you still remain a mystery. That is the key.
Most guys screen themselves out by doing one of several things:
1.) They over text and they reveal way too much information about themselves. I like some communication but once the date is set I typically only respond back to when she reaches out.
2.) They are way too available through text. This shows they have no life and if they are always available, the chick thinks there must be something wrong with them.
3.) They show desperate and needy behavior instead of responding indifferently to her texts. This is a date killer and will cause instant flakes.
I am the product that sells itself on a date. Once I get a chick out, it is really rare that she isnt asking "when can I see you again" after the first date. I can (and have) however do things to kill her attraction/interest by doing the above things. So I like to remain a mystery after the date is set and I continue that through the dating process. They find out a little about me at a time. So they have to keep coming back to find out more. Does that make sense? Give them crumbs.
A starving cat will hunt harder than one that has its belly full.
So now that I have told you reasons why you are potentially disqualifying yourself through the 3 things above, you must realize how this turns into a flake:
A woman will not come out and say "I dont think we are a good match". Instead she will just not show up for the date or cancel last minute. The reason why women do this is because they avoid confrontation and its just easier for them compared to telling you the truth and then dealing with a barrage of questions as to why she feels that way.
So you need to realize why they flake and also realize things you can do to prevent it.
1.) Remain mysterious. Give as little information as possible when she asks questions. Do not act like you're hiding something bad, just give vague answers that cover the masses.
2.) Do NOT be available all of the time. You should have purpose, a life, career, hobbies, OTHER WOMEN, etc. If you dont, at least act like you do.
3.) Learn to give vague answers to her questions.
So now that I have talked about how to avoid her from disqualifying you, lets talk about when I disqualify a woman. This is even more important because I do not want to waste my time.
So you have the date set (and I recommend always setting a date within 3-4 days of inviting them out with you...a week or more out really raises the flake % for various reasons we can discuss later) so what do you need to look for?
1.) I look for lack of interest responses. "ok lol", "we'll see", etc is garbage. I will instantly stop responding and see if she reaches back out. An interested woman will ask YOU questions through text because she is interested. Handle her questions as I already discussed above.
2.) Phone call: I always call a chick the day before the date. ALWAYS. Especially if its OLD, someone I started chatting with on social media, etc. I do this for a very specific reason: For one to see if she answers and secondly, to see if there is decent convo. I limit it to about 5 minutes and then break off the call. I typically tell them (if I have never met them in real life) that I wanted to make sure they arent "some old man living in the basement screwing with people on the internet eating cheetos: before we meet up. Its light and witty and also signals that I wanted to screen them before I invest some of my busy schedule to meeting them for a drink.
If the chick doesnt answer but texts back instantly and says "whats up?" I just tell them to give me a quick call back when they are free. If she doesnt call back, I dip.
If she does call back and seems boring as shyte I will probably cancel the date (unless she is smoking hot).
As long as she is matching interested effort and sounds promising on the phone, I will go ahead with the date.
I cannot tell you how many women I have stopped responding to because they just showed a lack of interest. Sure they would text and respond back like clockwork. But they didnt show too much promise in their enthusiasm. Some reach back out (and normally with much more enthusiasm the second time around) and some dont. Its ok either way.
I could go into an entire thread about women that respond back to date offers with "We'll see", "Ok lol", "I'll let you know". But I am not going to waste time on those as they are instant dismissals for me. I dont even withdraw the offer. I just give no response back to that garbage. And of course those that reach back out after I have disappeared normally put a little more effort into it the second time around.
Hopefully this helps a little.
@Amante Silvestre and others can feel free to add to this. Like I said, this is what I do and it works well for me. I think I've had 3 flakes/cancels in the last year but based on how many dates I go on, its a super small percentage. And even then I had a backup and didnt spend my time sulking about some chick that canceled. I just hung out with someone else.
Happy Hunting.
