"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Attractiveness

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labyrinth

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It seems like attractiveness should make things easier but in my case it has not. I have been told many times by many people that I am very attractive and yet I don't have good success with women. When I go out it seems like virtually none show any interest right off the bat. It's just weird having been told that I'm attractive and yet there seems to be no interest. Wouldn't it be normal for women to pay more attention to you if you really are attractive?
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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ChrizZ

Master Don Juan
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YOU have to approach women.

It's not the other way around. I consider myself good looking yet I have only been approached 3 times in my life by average looking chicks.
 
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labyrinth

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I agree that most often approaching will be necessary and that most women won't do it. But it seems like I would notice more signs of interest and that they would at least smile or give some kind of body language clue?
 
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ChrizZ

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labyrinth said:
I agree that most often approaching will be necessary and that most women won't do it. But it seems like I would notice more signs of interest and that they would at least smile or give some kind of body language clue?
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no, that only happens in movies.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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potato

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I don’t know. I get women giving me clues all the time. Lots of smiles, but then I do smile a lot myself and it tends to be contagious. Mostly though women do expect the man to make the first move.

I hear guys all the time with the complaint that they are attractive but girls aren’t going for them. Sometimes I wonder who is telling them that they are attractive, like their grandmother. Being attractive is more than just having a handsome face. It also takes an athletic body, a confident walk, appropriate mannerisms, the ability to look another in the eye without flinching, and control over one’s smile and eyes and all that.

I’m good looking enough that I know there have been women who were greatly attracted to me but never showed any signs out of fear of rejection and embarrassment. Typically if I approach a woman and look in her eyes I can tell if she is attracted or not. Once I start talking to her, the attraction will be obvious in her reaction and the things she’ll say.

Most women have greater approach anxiety than men do.
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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