"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

Asking out, calls, texting. ...It's all chasing.

wifehunter

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 6, 2015
Messages
5,145
Reaction score
3,302
Age
52
Location
Hoe County, California
When you ask a girl out, call, or text...

She knows what you want.

No challenge.

NO MYSTERY...

You're a dead giveaway.

discuss...
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

ChristopherColumbus

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 8, 2016
Messages
2,263
Reaction score
1,253
Age
59
Location
korea
Well, I asked a girl out [in response to huge IOIs]. Met her for a coffee, and what a bore. So managed to get through the hour then said our goodbyes... and wrote that one off. On the way home, recognized a lady I'd briefly met the other day in the street with a neighbor I knew. She was friendly at the time, so was looking for an opportunity. Stopped, said hello, and got her number. Also, got another number at a coffee shop today to think of it. She was quick to reply... not a bad day all in all.. a date and two numbers.

I think you just have to show interest right of the bat... and definitely if she has first shown interest to you. Then it's just a date to see if you're attracted to each-other, on the same wave-length, or whether the sparks fly. No point in Mexican stand-offs.
 
Last edited:

wifehunter

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 6, 2015
Messages
5,145
Reaction score
3,302
Age
52
Location
Hoe County, California
Well, I asked a girl out. met her for a coffee, and what a bore. So managed to get through the hour then said our goodbyes... and wrote that one off. On the way home, recognized a lady I'd briefly met the other day in the street with a neighbor I knew. She was friendly at the time, so was looking for an opportunity. Stopped, said hello, and got her number. Also, got another number at a coffee shop today to think of it. She was quick to reply... not a bad day all in all.. a date and two numbers.

I think you just have to show interest right of the bat... and definitely if she has first shown interest to you. Then it's just a date to see if you're attracted to each-other, on the same wave-length, or whether the sparks fly. No point in Mexican stand-offs.
If they have the nature, and motivation to end the standoff...why not let them?
 

wifehunter

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 6, 2015
Messages
5,145
Reaction score
3,302
Age
52
Location
Hoe County, California
Girls always know what you want. Do you have the balls to own it?

Your commitment is the challenge; feeling the strength of you frame is the challenge. It's only chasing if your self-worth is based on the outcome ;)
You crazies?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

Julian

Banned
Joined
Jul 30, 2003
Messages
4,754
Reaction score
1,216
There is nothing wrong with making your intent known. Why try and come at a chick sideways? I mean you can be smooth with your delivery but honesty can still be the best policy while holding an aura of mystery.
 

RangerMIke

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 23, 2014
Messages
4,762
Reaction score
7,975
Location
USA, Louisiana
Girls always know what you want. Do you have the balls to own it?

Your commitment is the challenge; feeling the strength of you frame is the challenge. It's only chasing if your self-worth is based on the outcome ;)
Yep... asking for dates is not chasing... it's taking action on your interest. It doesn't become 'chasing' until you start wanting exclusivity OR continuing to pursue when she just isn't that interested.
 

wifehunter

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 6, 2015
Messages
5,145
Reaction score
3,302
Age
52
Location
Hoe County, California
How is, asking for dates 'not chasing'?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

resilient

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 15, 2005
Messages
1,636
Reaction score
1,366
@wifehunter, I think what some of the other guys have said on here, is generally have something cool in mind that you wanted to do anyway and she's welcome to tag along. The essence of bringing a plate into your world. For example, activities like concerts, rock climbing, art exhibit, etc. It won't feel like chasing because if she declines, flakes, whatever, you're still doing that fun activity anyway.
 

Trump

Banned
Joined
Mar 12, 2011
Messages
3,000
Reaction score
1,669
@wifehunter, I think what some of the other guys have said on here, is generally have something cool in mind that you wanted to do anyway and she's welcome to tag along. The essence of bringing a plate into your world. For example, activities like concerts, rock climbing, art exhibit, etc. It won't feel like chasing because if she declines, flakes, whatever, you're still doing that fun activity anyway.
There you go. You are asking her to come and have fun with you. Hiking, bowling, driving, even sex, all part of the fun. How many times do we have to say it? She comes along for the RIDE.

I swear if you guys had more fun in your lives and did more stuff, you wouldn't have time to analyze all this "it is chasing, is it not chasing, well she knows I want sex so she has the upper hand, well I asked her out so I'm a pervert because she knows I want sex, well I texted her now she thinks I want sex."

Remember men, the goal is FUN. She is with you because you are, allegedly, higher value, know more people, generally enjoy your life. She is not with you for you to moan, complain, or act like she is a hooker.
 

RangerMIke

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 23, 2014
Messages
4,762
Reaction score
7,975
Location
USA, Louisiana
How is, asking for dates 'not chasing'?
For the same reason that fishing is not hunting. One you toss you line and and whatever you catch... you catch, asking for a date is like figuratively tossing in a line. Hunting is more active and specific and to hunt means you target a particular animal.

As a man you have to be more like the fisherman, casting out your line and you really don't care who you hook, because all fish pretty much are the same, unless they are too small (young) or somehow defective... sometimes you catch a old boot. You just toss back in what you can not use.
 

wifehunter

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 6, 2015
Messages
5,145
Reaction score
3,302
Age
52
Location
Hoe County, California
For the same reason that fishing is not hunting. One you toss you line and and whatever you catch... you catch, asking for a date is like figuratively tossing in a line. Hunting is more active and specific and to hunt means you target a particular animal.

As a man you have to be more like the fisherman, casting out your line and you really don't care who you hook, because all fish pretty much are the same, unless they are too small (young) or somehow defective... sometimes you catch a old boot. You just toss back in what you can not use.
Is more like setting bear traps.
 

SgtSplacker

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 18, 2011
Messages
2,039
Reaction score
504
Personally I do not like to let my intentions known up front like that. If I ask a girl I don't know too well out it's as friends, period end of story.

I'm not trying to impress anyone.
I'm not looking for anything.
I don't expect anything.
I don't need anything.
I'm not treating anyone different from anyone else.

Nothing.

If we can't chill as friends then we can't chill at all.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

bigneil

Banned
Joined
Oct 20, 2006
Messages
8,265
Reaction score
2,644
Location
Texas
Exactly true.

That is why you let them do 80% of the texting.

Example:

Her: How are you?
Her: Are you mad at me?
Her: I miss you.
Her: Did you get that photo?
You: We should get together tomorrow and meet at the theater at 8pm.
Her: I would LOVE to! I'm so excited!
 

djthiago1

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 20, 2014
Messages
754
Reaction score
299
Age
32
Location
Brazil
Sure, that's true, which is why you're supposed to ask the girl out and then disappear until the day of your date. Self-control cancels out the persuing.
 

devilkingx2

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 9, 2013
Messages
4,521
Reaction score
2,229
Location
NYC
Sure, that's true, which is why you're supposed to ask the girl out and then disappear until the day of your date.
last time I did that the girl seemed mad about it and flaked on me
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Top