Asking out, calls, texting. ...It's all chasing.

[wifehunter]

When you ask a girl out, call, or text...

She knows what you want.

No challenge.

NO MYSTERY...

You're a dead giveaway.

discuss...

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Well, I asked a girl out [in response to huge IOIs]. Met her for a coffee, and what a bore. So managed to get through the hour then said our goodbyes... and wrote that one off. On the way home, recognized a lady I'd briefly met the other day in the street with a neighbor I knew. She was friendly at the time, so was looking for an opportunity. Stopped, said hello, and got her number. Also, got another number at a coffee shop today to think of it. She was quick to reply... not a bad day all in all.. a date and two numbers.

I think you just have to show interest right of the bat... and definitely if she has first shown interest to you. Then it's just a date to see if you're attracted to each-other, on the same wave-length, or whether the sparks fly. No point in Mexican stand-offs.

 

[fastlife]

Girls always know what you want. Do you have the balls to own it?

Your commitment is the challenge; feeling the strength of you frame is the challenge. It's only chasing if your self-worth is based on the outcome

 

[wifehunter]

Well, I asked a girl out. met her for a coffee, and what a bore. So managed to get through the hour then said our goodbyes... and wrote that one off. On the way home, recognized a lady I'd briefly met the other day in the street with a neighbor I knew. She was friendly at the time, so was looking for an opportunity. Stopped, said hello, and got her number. Also, got another number at a coffee shop today to think of it. She was quick to reply... not a bad day all in all.. a date and two numbers.

I think you just have to show interest right of the bat... and definitely if she has first shown interest to you. Then it's just a date to see if you're attracted to each-other, on the same wave-length, or whether the sparks fly. No point in Mexican stand-offs.

If they have the nature, and motivation to end the standoff...why not let them?

 

[wifehunter]

Girls always know what you want. Do you have the balls to own it?

Your commitment is the challenge; feeling the strength of you frame is the challenge. It's only chasing if your self-worth is based on the outcome

You crazies?

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

If they have the nature, and motivation to end the standoff...why not let them?

I think men do best to lead.

 

[wifehunter]

I think men do best to lead.

Seems random. Lead where?

 

[Julian]

There is nothing wrong with making your intent known. Why try and come at a chick sideways? I mean you can be smooth with your delivery but honesty can still be the best policy while holding an aura of mystery.

 

[RangerMIke]

Girls always know what you want. Do you have the balls to own it?

Your commitment is the challenge; feeling the strength of you frame is the challenge. It's only chasing if your self-worth is based on the outcome

Yep... asking for dates is not chasing... it's taking action on your interest. It doesn't become 'chasing' until you start wanting exclusivity OR continuing to pursue when she just isn't that interested.

 

[wifehunter]

How is, asking for dates 'not chasing'?

 

[resilient]

@wifehunter, I think what some of the other guys have said on here, is generally have something cool in mind that you wanted to do anyway and she's welcome to tag along. The essence of bringing a plate into your world. For example, activities like concerts, rock climbing, art exhibit, etc. It won't feel like chasing because if she declines, flakes, whatever, you're still doing that fun activity anyway.

 

[Trump]

@wifehunter, I think what some of the other guys have said on here, is generally have something cool in mind that you wanted to do anyway and she's welcome to tag along. The essence of bringing a plate into your world. For example, activities like concerts, rock climbing, art exhibit, etc. It won't feel like chasing because if she declines, flakes, whatever, you're still doing that fun activity anyway.

There you go. You are asking her to come and have fun with you. Hiking, bowling, driving, even sex, all part of the fun. How many times do we have to say it? She comes along for the RIDE.

I swear if you guys had more fun in your lives and did more stuff, you wouldn't have time to analyze all this "it is chasing, is it not chasing, well she knows I want sex so she has the upper hand, well I asked her out so I'm a pervert because she knows I want sex, well I texted her now she thinks I want sex."

Remember men, the goal is FUN. She is with you because you are, allegedly, higher value, know more people, generally enjoy your life. She is not with you for you to moan, complain, or act like she is a hooker.

 

[RangerMIke]

How is, asking for dates 'not chasing'?

For the same reason that fishing is not hunting. One you toss you line and and whatever you catch... you catch, asking for a date is like figuratively tossing in a line. Hunting is more active and specific and to hunt means you target a particular animal.

As a man you have to be more like the fisherman, casting out your line and you really don't care who you hook, because all fish pretty much are the same, unless they are too small (young) or somehow defective... sometimes you catch a old boot. You just toss back in what you can not use.

 

[wifehunter]

For the same reason that fishing is not hunting. One you toss you line and and whatever you catch... you catch, asking for a date is like figuratively tossing in a line. Hunting is more active and specific and to hunt means you target a particular animal.

As a man you have to be more like the fisherman, casting out your line and you really don't care who you hook, because all fish pretty much are the same, unless they are too small (young) or somehow defective... sometimes you catch a old boot. You just toss back in what you can not use.

Is more like setting bear traps.

 

[SgtSplacker]

Personally I do not like to let my intentions known up front like that. If I ask a girl I don't know too well out it's as friends, period end of story.

I'm not trying to impress anyone.
I'm not looking for anything.
I don't expect anything.
I don't need anything.
I'm not treating anyone different from anyone else.

Nothing.

If we can't chill as friends then we can't chill at all.

 

[bigneil]

Exactly true.

That is why you let them do 80% of the texting.

Example:

Her: How are you?
Her: Are you mad at me?
Her: I miss you.
Her: Did you get that photo?
You: We should get together tomorrow and meet at the theater at 8pm.
Her: I would LOVE to! I'm so excited!

 

[devilkingx2]

it's only chasing if she's running away, that's why you're not supposed to chase.

if she's not running away, you're not chasing.

 

[Glassguy]

it's only chasing if she's running away, that's why you're not supposed to chase.

if she's not running away, you're not chasing.

Bingo.

 

[djthiago1]

Sure, that's true, which is why you're supposed to ask the girl out and then disappear until the day of your date. Self-control cancels out the persuing.

 

[devilkingx2]

Sure, that's true, which is why you're supposed to ask the girl out and then disappear until the day of your date.

last time I did that the girl seemed mad about it and flaked on me