"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Asking out, calls, texting. ...It's all chasing.

wifehunter

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When you ask a girl out, call, or text...

She knows what you want.

No challenge.

NO MYSTERY...

You're a dead giveaway.

discuss...
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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ChristopherColumbus

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Well, I asked a girl out [in response to huge IOIs]. Met her for a coffee, and what a bore. So managed to get through the hour then said our goodbyes... and wrote that one off. On the way home, recognized a lady I'd briefly met the other day in the street with a neighbor I knew. She was friendly at the time, so was looking for an opportunity. Stopped, said hello, and got her number. Also, got another number at a coffee shop today to think of it. She was quick to reply... not a bad day all in all.. a date and two numbers.

I think you just have to show interest right of the bat... and definitely if she has first shown interest to you. Then it's just a date to see if you're attracted to each-other, on the same wave-length, or whether the sparks fly. No point in Mexican stand-offs.
 
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wifehunter

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Well, I asked a girl out. met her for a coffee, and what a bore. So managed to get through the hour then said our goodbyes... and wrote that one off. On the way home, recognized a lady I'd briefly met the other day in the street with a neighbor I knew. She was friendly at the time, so was looking for an opportunity. Stopped, said hello, and got her number. Also, got another number at a coffee shop today to think of it. She was quick to reply... not a bad day all in all.. a date and two numbers.

I think you just have to show interest right of the bat... and definitely if she has first shown interest to you. Then it's just a date to see if you're attracted to each-other, on the same wave-length, or whether the sparks fly. No point in Mexican stand-offs.
If they have the nature, and motivation to end the standoff...why not let them?
 

wifehunter

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Girls always know what you want. Do you have the balls to own it?

Your commitment is the challenge; feeling the strength of you frame is the challenge. It's only chasing if your self-worth is based on the outcome ;)
You crazies?
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Julian

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There is nothing wrong with making your intent known. Why try and come at a chick sideways? I mean you can be smooth with your delivery but honesty can still be the best policy while holding an aura of mystery.
 

RangerMIke

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Girls always know what you want. Do you have the balls to own it?

Your commitment is the challenge; feeling the strength of you frame is the challenge. It's only chasing if your self-worth is based on the outcome ;)
Yep... asking for dates is not chasing... it's taking action on your interest. It doesn't become 'chasing' until you start wanting exclusivity OR continuing to pursue when she just isn't that interested.
 

wifehunter

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How is, asking for dates 'not chasing'?
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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resilient

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@wifehunter, I think what some of the other guys have said on here, is generally have something cool in mind that you wanted to do anyway and she's welcome to tag along. The essence of bringing a plate into your world. For example, activities like concerts, rock climbing, art exhibit, etc. It won't feel like chasing because if she declines, flakes, whatever, you're still doing that fun activity anyway.
 

Trump

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@wifehunter, I think what some of the other guys have said on here, is generally have something cool in mind that you wanted to do anyway and she's welcome to tag along. The essence of bringing a plate into your world. For example, activities like concerts, rock climbing, art exhibit, etc. It won't feel like chasing because if she declines, flakes, whatever, you're still doing that fun activity anyway.
There you go. You are asking her to come and have fun with you. Hiking, bowling, driving, even sex, all part of the fun. How many times do we have to say it? She comes along for the RIDE.

I swear if you guys had more fun in your lives and did more stuff, you wouldn't have time to analyze all this "it is chasing, is it not chasing, well she knows I want sex so she has the upper hand, well I asked her out so I'm a pervert because she knows I want sex, well I texted her now she thinks I want sex."

Remember men, the goal is FUN. She is with you because you are, allegedly, higher value, know more people, generally enjoy your life. She is not with you for you to moan, complain, or act like she is a hooker.
 

RangerMIke

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How is, asking for dates 'not chasing'?
For the same reason that fishing is not hunting. One you toss you line and and whatever you catch... you catch, asking for a date is like figuratively tossing in a line. Hunting is more active and specific and to hunt means you target a particular animal.

As a man you have to be more like the fisherman, casting out your line and you really don't care who you hook, because all fish pretty much are the same, unless they are too small (young) or somehow defective... sometimes you catch a old boot. You just toss back in what you can not use.
 

wifehunter

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For the same reason that fishing is not hunting. One you toss you line and and whatever you catch... you catch, asking for a date is like figuratively tossing in a line. Hunting is more active and specific and to hunt means you target a particular animal.

As a man you have to be more like the fisherman, casting out your line and you really don't care who you hook, because all fish pretty much are the same, unless they are too small (young) or somehow defective... sometimes you catch a old boot. You just toss back in what you can not use.
Is more like setting bear traps.
 

SgtSplacker

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Personally I do not like to let my intentions known up front like that. If I ask a girl I don't know too well out it's as friends, period end of story.

I'm not trying to impress anyone.
I'm not looking for anything.
I don't expect anything.
I don't need anything.
I'm not treating anyone different from anyone else.

Nothing.

If we can't chill as friends then we can't chill at all.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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bigneil

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Exactly true.

That is why you let them do 80% of the texting.

Example:

Her: How are you?
Her: Are you mad at me?
Her: I miss you.
Her: Did you get that photo?
You: We should get together tomorrow and meet at the theater at 8pm.
Her: I would LOVE to! I'm so excited!
 

djthiago1

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Sure, that's true, which is why you're supposed to ask the girl out and then disappear until the day of your date. Self-control cancels out the persuing.
 

devilkingx2

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Sure, that's true, which is why you're supposed to ask the girl out and then disappear until the day of your date.
last time I did that the girl seemed mad about it and flaked on me
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

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