"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Asking a girl to go out flat
- Thread starter Atldude
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Make sure you have some kind of rapport already built with her. I would never go up to a girl I didn't know and ask her for a date right off the bat. She doesn't know anything about you, and you don't know anything about her.
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Maxtro
Master Don Juan
When I ask a girl out, I'm asking her out to go play pool or something. That can be pretty much done flat out. Within a few minutes of meeting her.
Are you asking for exclusivity? That is something else entirely.
Kev07
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 2, 2006
- Messages
- 1,706
- Reaction score
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You have nothing to lose
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
darkjedi
Don Juan
This advice is golden. Before I joined this site, I figured ultimatums were the way to go... They're not. What worked for my past relationship was just to keep dating and after a month she asked me to be exclusive. I also noticed that's how many other guys I know hooked up with their woman.Bvbidd said:Ultimatums are a turn off. Don't.
A woman if her interest is high enough will ask "YOU" for the relationship.
The problem with this is the fact that it's long distance... and i don't want to "date" if there isn't enough interest to begin with. so basically what i want to know is if i should ask her "if there is anything worth pursuing".
thanks in advance,
Atldude
tsmith2334
Master Don Juan
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Play the Game
Master Don Juan
It's a double standard but it's true. Sometimes i feel like its total bull****, but i never go against it, because i know better. I've learned from experience.darkjedi said:This advice is golden. Before I joined this site, I figured ultimatums were the way to go... They're not. What worked for my past relationship was just to keep dating and after a month she asked me to be exclusive. I also noticed that's how many other guys I know hooked up with their woman.
A woman if her interest is high enough will ask "YOU" for the relationship.
In the end, we all have to figure it out for ourselves to believe it. We can't just trust some dude on a forum that we've never met in our life.
So, if you want.... try but when you fail, try to learn something from it. Don't go doing the same thing. There's an Emerson quote that says: "All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better."
A better way to see if she's interested is to see if she'll come over to your town just for a date. Then you know she's really interested.
I don't think you asking her for exclusivity is the way to go.
I.A.F.Y.B.
Master Don Juan
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.