"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Asking a girl from Starbucks out

lexluciano

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Theres this girl in Starbucks who I think is cute & single. Imma cut to the chase...what's the best approach to take things to the next level?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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lexluciano

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good thought! Because I was thinkin' it would look wack if I were to shoot a few comments here & there and then execute by asking for her number in one day.

Now that I think of it, its important to try and talk to her maybe about two weeks or what not and then slowly move in for the kill.

But you said to: GIVE HER MY NUMBER?? Shouldn't it be the other way around.
 

Down Low

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Gentleman's Rule #23: Don't bother the help.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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theanomaly

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Are we talking a chick who works there or a regular? If she's a regular, check out this post and do what it says...

Why You Need to Talk to Everyone…

Honestly, this works with chicks who are at work too. It works on every chick, you just need something a lot of us dudes don't have...patience.
 

TempestNight

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ilikecharlene said:
Get to know her, and give her your number.
Thought guys should never give out their numbers to girls, as you are now playing her game and you have to wait for her to call you, which is rare since chicks almost always have low IL at the beginning.

What I would do is just be upfront about it, ask her when her shift is over, ask for her number and say she should join you for tea/drinks after her shift is done.
 

PrettyBoyAJ

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Nope, if you instruct her to call you at a certain time your being dominant and if she doesn't call shes a.) Not interested or b.)Cant follow instructions.

So just have a small conversation, ask her when she gets off work and instruct her to call you later that evening. That simple.
 

dibs

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Last night I got one of the baristas numbers my local Starbucks. I asked her for it.

She wasn't at the counter. She was at the cream/sugar area.

There were clear signs that let me know it was a possibility. She smiled when I walked in and got nervous when I was getting my sugar. I wouldn't just randomly ask one of the baristas.

One thing that probably helped was that I made the other barista laugh as she got my coffee. She had her dread locks balled up into a bun and I told her that her hair reminded me of a cinnamon roll. Then I asked her if she ever put white glaze on it.
 

lexluciano

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PrettyBoyAJ said:
Nope, if you instruct her to call you at a certain time your being dominant and if she doesn't call shes a.) Not interested or b.)Cant follow instructions.

So just have a small conversation, ask her when she gets off work and instruct her to call you later that evening. That simple.
See the thing with me is the execution part..lol

I got no problem doin what you said...its just that there are other people & her coworkers lookin'. I just hate that whole audience thang when people are like "ooohhhh shyt". lol

I notice she's the one that seems to be mixing the drinks in the back and she ain't the one who yells your name out to hand the drinks to you. So i guess my next question is what's a good way to MOVE IN for a conversation with her one on one??? Because its hella of a gamble to catch her alone when she's wiping tables. Unless I ask one of her coworkers to help me get her??? What it do ya'll????
 

“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”

You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.

I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.

Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.

These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.

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dibs

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lexluciano said:
See the thing with me is the execution part..lol

I got no problem doin what you said...its just that there are other people & her coworkers lookin'. I just hate that whole audience thang when people are like "ooohhhh shyt". lol

I notice she's the one that seems to be mixing the drinks in the back and she ain't the one who yells your name out to hand the drinks to you. So i guess my next question is what's a good way to MOVE IN for a conversation with her one on one??? Because its hella of a gamble to catch her alone when she's wiping tables. Unless I ask one of her coworkers to help me get her??? What it do ya'll????


People don't say **** when you ask for a girls number as long as you don't act sad if you don't get it. Most people usually are like, "Whoa, that guys got balls."

Just order something she'll have to make. When she starts preparing your drink say something funny/observant/unusual to her. When you do this look at her and smile.
If she smiles back take it as an invitation to say something else. Start some light chit chat. Tell her she has excellent coffee handling technique. Tell her you must know her secret and that you should meet up some time.

If she doesn't smile back or seems pestered just walk away and be proud you at least had the guts to approach.
 

BigJimbo

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A barista at Starbucks. The only cute ones are guys. Seriously. As they say, "As rare as a straight man who works at Starbucks".

Another reason why I encourage all those stuck in America to quit fighting it and just go gay. Some of you are young enough where you might actually get a rich married man to take you to nice hotels and bars.

Seriously, I am not being funny. How many of you have EVER seen an attractive female who works at Starbucks? Even in Moscow the female Starbucks' baristas look weird. Now, Starlite Diner in Moscow might have some young waitresses who could tempt an American guy. Even TGIF's in Moscow could do it. Hell, KFC in Moscow...BUT...Starbucks? Uh, never. Blasphemy! It is a Starbucks' rule that every female barista must be weird. Weird in that spooky way that makes you not want to go back to that same Starbucks. Same goes for any female who works at an Apple store. AVOID!

BTW, Starbucks suck. Even in Canada there are better options (Caffè Art Java in Montreal is superior). But, in corporate America you only have Starbucks. In Manhattan you only have Starbucks! Well, there is a nice Nespresso on the Upper East Side that I love. Me and the tribe all hang there and laugh at the outsiders. Good times. Hell, best times when I have to be in Manhattan.

http://caffeartjava.com/
There you go, guys. A travel tip. When in Montreal try this place. Simple, cheap, and good. Nice simple vibe. Great sweats and wonderful coffee. Beats the s--- out of Starbucks.

http://www.starlite.ru/
When in Moscow every American must go hear. An authentic Jersey diner flown in from New Jersey! Stuck in a little park by a Metro. Easy to get to. Open late. Good food as well. If only America was this cool.

http://www.restaurantsinyc.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/nespresso.jpg
You can find BigJimbo in this place when in Manhattan. The food is really good and the coffee is served in a nice manner. Bathrooms are in the middle to the right. I like that because I go to the bathroom a lot. :moon:
 

lexluciano

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dibs said:
People don't say **** when you ask for a girls number as long as you don't act sad if you don't get it. Most people usually are like, "Whoa, that guys got balls."

Just order something she'll have to make. When she starts preparing your drink say something funny/observant/unusual to her. When you do this look at her and smile.
If she smiles back take it as an invitation to say something else. Start some light chit chat. Tell her she has excellent coffee handling technique. Tell her you must know her secret and that you should meet up some time.

If she doesn't smile back or seems pestered just walk away and be proud you at least had the guts to approach.
And i should make small talk with her for about like a month or so right before I ask her number or ask her number right then and there?

how bout if I just happen to ask one of her coworkers to give me her number if she's not around?....nah that would be creepy now that i think about it
 

Deep Dish

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BigJimbo:
A barista at Starbucks. The only cute ones are guys...

Seriously, I am not being funny. How many of you have EVER seen an attractive female who works at Starbucks? Even in Moscow the female Starbucks' baristas look weird. Now, Starlite Diner in Moscow might have some young waitresses who could tempt an American guy. Even TGIF's in Moscow could do it. Hell, KFC in Moscow...BUT...Starbucks? Uh, never. Blasphemy! It is a Starbucks' rule that every female barista must be weird. Weird in that spooky way that makes you not want to go back to that same Starbucks. Same goes for any female who works at an Apple store. AVOID!

BTW, Starbucks suck.
Chalk it up to personal difference of subjective cup of teas, but there are people whose opinions differ from yours. Yes there are cute Starbucks barista chicks, but not many, and if you think Starbucks baristas are weird strange then god forbid you ever visit indie hippy hipster coffee shops. Personally I do both. Indie coffee shops are cozier, and have open mike, bands, improv comedy, but I like the music, iced chai’s, and white chocolate mochas of Starbucks, and have visited Starbucks throughout Germany and Prague. The one in Prague was cute.
 

lexluciano

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YOU GUYS!!!!!

this shyt is hard! lol...Today i was at Starbucks and I was doing my work just observing the scene.

Difficult Reasons:
- i dont even know her schedule to a point where i know she's working to initiate contact (except Saturday mornings)
- its hard to get her isolated knowing that she's the mixer
- its hard to even strike up a conversation with her especially with a gathered crowd forming...but it usually dies down. Yet, when it dies down...she never comes up to wipe tables or what not

HOW ABOUT:
+ if I ask one of her coworkers straight up if her coworker who im interested in is single or not?
+ sit on a table closets to the bathroom in order to get her attention for a conversation
+ sit close to the exit so that when she's done with her shift, I can talk to her as she's walking out.
BUT!!! ANSWER ME THIS....I wanna ask her phone number right then and there if I happen to catch her at a conversation aka our FIRST CONVERSATION but I don't know how to go about doing it.
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

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PrettyBoyAJ

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Here is something that I came up with with a lot of observation.

The best chance to bag a female is the first time you ever see her. The reason this is because you haven't put her on any pedestal. If you see a chick and you regret not getting her number the first time then in your mind you put her on a little pedestal. "When is the next time I'm going to see her, What am I going to say, What will I do" are all subjects that come to mind. And to be honest all these visions about the situation can be focused on more productive things.

To be honest I think you shot yourself in the foot by focusing too much on this situation.
 

lexluciano

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PrettyBoyAJ said:
Here is something that I came up with with a lot of observation.

The best chance to bag a female is the first time you ever see her. The reason this is because you haven't put her on any pedestal. If you see a chick and you regret not getting her number the first time then in your mind you put her on a little pedestal. "When is the next time I'm going to see her, What am I going to say, What will I do" are all subjects that come to mind. And to be honest all these visions about the situation can be focused on more productive things.

To be honest I think you shot yourself in the foot by focusing too much on this situation.
true...

now can you explain in detail how you would bag zee female based on the scenarios i chalked up??

Because i can turn the pedestal off by just tryna attack her for a convo. No prob. Yet it would look awkward tryna force something.
 

Iceberg

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PrettyBoyAJ said:
To be honest I think you shot yourself in the foot by focusing too much on this situation.
Seriously.

When you're this invested in a girl who doesn't even know your name, it's bound to fail.

Could you imagine sitting in a coffee shop for hours just for the purpose of possibly striking a conversation with a girl? This guy needs more options.

lexluciano said:
true...

now can you explain in detail how you would bag zee female based on the scenarios i chalked up??

Because i can turn the pedestal off by just tryna attack her for a convo. No prob. Yet it would look awkward tryna force something.
I wouldn't bag the female with the scenarios you chalked up. They sound awkward and forced by nature. If you want to talk to her, then go up and talk to her. Ask her about coffee. I don't know. Just start a f**kin dialogue.
 

Pimp-sicle

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PrettyBoyAJ said:
Nope, if you instruct her to call you at a certain time your being dominant and if she doesn't call shes a.) Not interested or b.)Cant follow instructions.

So just have a small conversation, ask her when she gets off work and instruct her to call you later that evening. That simple.

AJ, I like you (no homo) you generally give great advice; but I couldn't disagree with you more here.

No offense OP, but you seem like your scared of your own shadow at this point; there is NO WAY he will have the confidence to pull off a smooth Bond move like that.

Your advice should be more catered to the skill level of the poster and its obvious he's a newbie.






PIMP
 

nightcrawler

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whip your **** out and ask her "u want some of this babes?"

if that doesn't work you can always next her, spin more platers, read more "how to be alpha" articles and continue on your quest to becoming a man with a sense of self worth.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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