lexluciano
Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 29, 2012
- Messages
- 22
- Reaction score
- 3
Theres this girl in Starbucks who I think is cute & single. Imma cut to the chase...what's the best approach to take things to the next level?
She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.
You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.
The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Thought guys should never give out their numbers to girls, as you are now playing her game and you have to wait for her to call you, which is rare since chicks almost always have low IL at the beginning.ilikecharlene said:Get to know her, and give her your number.
See the thing with me is the execution part..lolPrettyBoyAJ said:Nope, if you instruct her to call you at a certain time your being dominant and if she doesn't call shes a.) Not interested or b.)Cant follow instructions.
So just have a small conversation, ask her when she gets off work and instruct her to call you later that evening. That simple.
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
lexluciano said:See the thing with me is the execution part..lol
I got no problem doin what you said...its just that there are other people & her coworkers lookin'. I just hate that whole audience thang when people are like "ooohhhh shyt". lol
I notice she's the one that seems to be mixing the drinks in the back and she ain't the one who yells your name out to hand the drinks to you. So i guess my next question is what's a good way to MOVE IN for a conversation with her one on one??? Because its hella of a gamble to catch her alone when she's wiping tables. Unless I ask one of her coworkers to help me get her??? What it do ya'll????
And i should make small talk with her for about like a month or so right before I ask her number or ask her number right then and there?dibs said:People don't say **** when you ask for a girls number as long as you don't act sad if you don't get it. Most people usually are like, "Whoa, that guys got balls."
Just order something she'll have to make. When she starts preparing your drink say something funny/observant/unusual to her. When you do this look at her and smile.
If she smiles back take it as an invitation to say something else. Start some light chit chat. Tell her she has excellent coffee handling technique. Tell her you must know her secret and that you should meet up some time.
If she doesn't smile back or seems pestered just walk away and be proud you at least had the guts to approach.
Chalk it up to personal difference of subjective cup of teas, but there are people whose opinions differ from yours. Yes there are cute Starbucks barista chicks, but not many, and if you think Starbucks baristas are weird strange then god forbid you ever visit indie hippy hipster coffee shops. Personally I do both. Indie coffee shops are cozier, and have open mike, bands, improv comedy, but I like the music, iced chai’s, and white chocolate mochas of Starbucks, and have visited Starbucks throughout Germany and Prague. The one in Prague was cute.BigJimbo:
A barista at Starbucks. The only cute ones are guys...
Seriously, I am not being funny. How many of you have EVER seen an attractive female who works at Starbucks? Even in Moscow the female Starbucks' baristas look weird. Now, Starlite Diner in Moscow might have some young waitresses who could tempt an American guy. Even TGIF's in Moscow could do it. Hell, KFC in Moscow...BUT...Starbucks? Uh, never. Blasphemy! It is a Starbucks' rule that every female barista must be weird. Weird in that spooky way that makes you not want to go back to that same Starbucks. Same goes for any female who works at an Apple store. AVOID!
BTW, Starbucks suck.
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
true...PrettyBoyAJ said:Here is something that I came up with with a lot of observation.
The best chance to bag a female is the first time you ever see her. The reason this is because you haven't put her on any pedestal. If you see a chick and you regret not getting her number the first time then in your mind you put her on a little pedestal. "When is the next time I'm going to see her, What am I going to say, What will I do" are all subjects that come to mind. And to be honest all these visions about the situation can be focused on more productive things.
To be honest I think you shot yourself in the foot by focusing too much on this situation.
Seriously.PrettyBoyAJ said:To be honest I think you shot yourself in the foot by focusing too much on this situation.
I wouldn't bag the female with the scenarios you chalked up. They sound awkward and forced by nature. If you want to talk to her, then go up and talk to her. Ask her about coffee. I don't know. Just start a f**kin dialogue.lexluciano said:true...
now can you explain in detail how you would bag zee female based on the scenarios i chalked up??
Because i can turn the pedestal off by just tryna attack her for a convo. No prob. Yet it would look awkward tryna force something.
PrettyBoyAJ said:Nope, if you instruct her to call you at a certain time your being dominant and if she doesn't call shes a.) Not interested or b.)Cant follow instructions.
So just have a small conversation, ask her when she gets off work and instruct her to call you later that evening. That simple.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.