Arranging too many dates

[Murk]

I'm in over my head.

The girl that came to my house banging on my door, shouting through my letter box (with the good sex) has blocked me as I haven't met her in 8 days (I haven't had sex since and didn't care to):

I have 2 dates with girls that want to bang. Another that wants a date. A couple 8-9/10s that want to date but will undoubtedly take up my focus/time.

I need help how to juggle my time and finances for this. My whatsapp is popping off. I cancelled a date on Sunday to go out with the broski - she's now upset (seeing her tomorrow). In my quest to fill the void my ex left ( who was filling the void my dead mother left) I've just been on a rampage and it's too stressful. I know, this is not what a lot of you guys wanna hear and it will seem like humble bragging. This is for the OG's to part some wisdom here. I'm torn between spinning vacuous plates or choosing one to be with.

To top it all off that girl that I made the "First love reaching out" thread on messaged me if I still feel the same as I kind of went ghost since she stayed over.

There's such a thing as too many options, and also not knowing what you want, I totally don't know what I want but I know I don't wanna hurt a bunch of girls in the process. I haven't have sex in 8 days and feel great with that, I need a game plan fr moving forward. All advice welcome.

 

[Murk]

Lmao. I love those types of texts

What about these ones?

 

[guru1000]

"Damn it! I will try to get over it, but it will be extremely ... extremely ... extremely hard"

Send her head for a spin.

 

[Murk]

Did one better:

 

[Murk]

Sorry didn't upload the full image (not sure what it's not working). She's coming over now

After all that... she comes at the drop of a hat. Everyone need a solid plate like this in their repertoire

 

[Trump]

I know, this is not what a lot of you guys wanna hear and it will seem like humble bragging. This is for the OG's to part some wisdom here. I'm torn between spinning vacuous plates or choosing one to be with.

Translation: I know, this is humble bragging that these young hot single available girls are begging to have sex with me and I am too busy.

Come on bro, your post was awesome until you said that. Once you say that, the foundation of the post collapses.

 

[Roober]

It happens when you re-enter the dating market and go on a rampage. Just try to find balance with your personal life, social life, and women. The dates don't bring any real value to your life, so focus on what's important, and go on dates with your free time.

It's a good problem to have!

 

[RichardTheFrog]

Sorry didn't upload the full image (not sure what it's not working). She's coming over now

After all that... she comes at the drop of a hat. Everyone need a solid plate like this in their repertoire

Why do they like you?

 

[fanatic22]

Did one better:

Lmfao no shame. I love her

 

[marmel75]

yeah I know what you mean bro...at one point I had 7 plates in rotation that I was banging over the course of 10-12 days and it got to be literally physically exhausting after about 2 months...had to start dropping plates...got down to 4 and then one of the plates dropped off of her own doing a few months later so i was down to 3, which was a good number for me and much more manageable.

Gets to a point one of them wants to see/bang you pretty much every day of the week and then a few will want to see you multiple times and you can't because you are too worn out some days...

I mean dont get me wrong, its a good problem to have but it got to be too much for me..i dont know how some guys do it long term...way too stressful and exhausting

 

[Murk]

Had to let her go she got sprung despite my warnings and I dont need a meltdown on my hands, never set out to break hearts.

I’m 2 plates down in 1 week. I have no legit option I can call to come to my place to bang now. This is hard work. I’m going on a 2nd date today with a girl that is dtf but has told me she doesn’t want me dating or banging any other girls, it won’t last long. So tired of this sh1t. It's time consuming, stressful and costly. I feel like taking the easy route and LTR'ing something.

 

[guru1000]

You must enjoy the attention. I have no desire/patience/tolerance for that. I would just block her. I have literally an encyclopedia of blocked women over the years.

 

[QuadDeuces]

Where do you find those drama queens?

 

[sazc]

Although I am considering an LTR with one of them...

What!?!? Lol, u bounce quick! Is this the last chick that had hair extensions put in?

 

[Murk]

Date went well, lots of kissing, touching, she felt my d1ck and I donald trumped that pvssy.

She didn’t wanna bang, wants me to wait til Saturday (date 3). I told her we bang on Saturday or I’m gone as I’m not waiting (literally read similar in rational male today at work about women holding out on sex).

Here’s the kicker - and I need some outside advice/opinion. There’s an event where they host a certain kind of melodic house music, real chilled vibes, banging music and crowd, all round great atmosphere, think best party you’ve been to in terms of vibe, music and like minded people/crowd. Me and the ex discovered the events last summer - they hosted parties outdoors in hidden locations with directions/location posted at 10pm on the night as they’re illegal due to no liquor license and the random unlicensed locations, forest and woods (pitched up a sick sound system, toilets and bar, drugs, balloons (laughing gas), no searches or d1clhwad bouncers just a free space to listen to music in a rave/club environment minus the rules/confines of a typical club. To gain access you join a Facebook group where the main Dj/owner personally vets you before acceptance to maintain the unique atmosphere/no d1ckhead crowd. It’s perfect.

Anyway me and the ex and both our friendship groups all went NYE - had a blast - literally all walks of life agreed it was the best party ever. I went to the one in Feb and March alone with my friends.

I found out today my ex and her friend are going to the one this Saturday. When I found out today at work (saw her name on the attending list) I got butterflies/nervous belly feeling. I was gonna sell my ticket and no go. I now realise I’m gonna take new girl there with me and just ignore ex if I see her, it’s pretty big and we could easily avoid each other all night.

Do I go? Should I just avoid it/her all together? She knows this event is mine, I’ve purposely stayed away from all djs/events she likes. She’s coming here knowing there’s a chance I’ll be there. If I don’t go im letting her effect my life. If I go with my friends she may think I’m stalking her or may just leave. If I go with new girl - I’ve moved on, I’m the bigger man?

What shall I do? New girl is coming to my place for sex, drinks, to the rave, then back to mine, it’s a perfect Saturday with a girl that I see potential in. Am I being a prick taking new girl here knowing my ex and her friend (possibly more of them) will be there? Like I said she fully knows I intend to go to as many of these events as possible and in the summer it will only get worse as they will again be hosted outside. Typically they run from 10pm to 9am outdoors but these indoor ones are 10pm to 6am.

Edit: it must be said she’s purposely avoided contact with me even after I stupidly drunken emailed her a couple times (no reply). She’s the strong one and I’m the weak one in this break up (that she initiated). I think part of me is just ashamed to see her, if I go with a chick that just firms up my position a little. IMO.

 

[Murk]

You must enjoy the attention. I have no desire/patience/tolerance for that. I would just block her. I have literally an encyclopedia of blocked women over the years.

I just find blocking too final - it’s reserved for chicks I have no desire to ever bang (and ex’s/flings that block me first) I just find it childish to go blocking girls. Ok I like the attention.

 

[Macaframalama]

I'm torn between spinning vacuous plates or choosing one to be with.

You've pretty well answered the question to your own dilemma. Reframe your perspective. Lack of direction is the opposite of leading. Men end up in LTR one of two ways. They meet a woman worthy enough of LTR (and you will know it) or they get wormed into it by a woman that plays a better game. The latter will, eventually have you sucked into her frame and used up, until you are broken and she gets bored/loses respect. There's no need to tell them things, that you think they want to hear and toy with them. Your actions aren't congruent with your words and she's calling it out. You can give them the emotional gratification they need, while also imposing boundaries of extent. You are just simply screening and vetting for a potential long term partner and that takes time. In the meantime, you aren't going to limit your options. It can be an optimal learning environment for the both of you, so long as it's perceived as such and you allow neither you, nor her to stand in the way of it. You are in a good position to be in, but she needs management, not an amateur pimp, who doesn't know what to do, when chit ain't cool and pumping her ear full of words that you don't mean. If you wanted to keep her around, you should have invested your time. As for finances, have her contribute. Nothing in life is free. Not even for hot b!tches.

 

[Murk]

Agreed, don’t get it twisted though I didn't say I love her she’s the one saying that - I always - from the very beginning said I'm fresh out a relationship and not looking to jump in one. This girl apologised and said "babe I don't hate you" and tried to call me last night - ignored.

I am freaking out over my ex being at this party on Saturday - my boss and colleague told me stop obsessing over my ex and to not go and stop stalking her social media. My friend this morning said to swerve it as she's poison and I'm fuelling a near dead fire for no purpose. The purpose is I haven't let go and this is becoming an unhealthy obsession for me. Now I know where she will be it's too tempting.

BTW my ex is like a 6.5/10 and none of you guys would even give a sh!t about her. I didn't in the beginning that's why I treated her so bad and pushed her away over time.

 

[QuadDeuces]

@Murkserious

I see you post a lot about your ex, and you've been on a rampage smashing tons of other chicks to get over her.
I'm not going to tell you what to do, time heals all wounds, but I highly recommend to watch some videos on youtube of Eckhart Tolle about the "Pain body" it is very eastern philosophy and you have to be open and ready for that and has nothing to do with dating, but for me those kinds of videos really helped me let go of the past.

 

[Murk]

I'm struggling to let go - she is the first girl I loved and been in a relationship with since my mother passed away and I just poured all my emotion into that relationship (while also not taking it seriously) - it's literally like grieving again. I am at the depression stage I think, maybe bargaining? I know the relationship was unhealthy but I can't keep waiting it, just to speak to her again, I've never experienced this before with a breakup. It's definitely tied into losing my mum 2 years ago and feeling alone.