"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Arguments.

Reiki

Don Juan
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Me and my friends sometimes have arguments about stuff (science,school,working out,women)


What bothers me is that they say things like, Im gonna workout for 2 hours and get big, or like ALL women are sluts, or they say that demons are gonna come and end the world ( off some stupid site -_- ).

I try to tell them otherwise, but they never listen, should I just keep my mouth shut when I hear someone else saying something incorrect?

What about people beside my friends, like coworkers or something, I dont wanna come across as someone who always wants to be right...
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Life-Trainee

Master Don Juan
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Just disagree without being disagreeable. Don't impose your beliefs on your peers even if you know you're right. Let them find the truth themselves. Don't take it personally if people don't agree with your point of view, just present it and let go.
 

GaryNas

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Them: Im gonna workout for 2 hours and get big,
You: So go do it.


Then: ALL women are sluts
You: ?

Them: demons are gonna come and end the world ( off some stupid site -_- ).
You: Because everything on the Internet is true


I gave up arguing a long time ago, especially about stupid points like the demon thing. One guy I knew once thought baseball was too easy because all you had to do was "hit a ball with a stick". Regretably I argued with him (back in my arguing days) and it got me nowhere but a headache.
 

DJ_Dork

Master Don Juan
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learn how to communicate. if you feel you should state an opinion to correct what they said is stupid, then go ahead. replying back with aloofness or no opinion is a sign of low confidence.
 

Reiki

Don Juan
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anyone got any more tips?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Beethoven

Don Juan
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Buy 'How to Win Friends and Influence People' by Dale Carnegie. It's a great book, and it tells you how to get people round to your way of thinking without arguing. And it helps you understand the other guy better, so maybe you'll even find out you're wrong yourself!

Although, with friends, some friendly 'heated discussion' can be good, keep the 'discussion' part high and the 'heated' part low.
 

A.J. Stanson

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Like Beethoven said, always discuss, never argue. There's no need to even get heated. Getting heated implies that you're trying to prove that you're right and they're wrong. Real DJ's have nothing to prove.
 
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