"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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argh

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talking to this girl online for like 2 months. I've actually met her in person before. she is a friend of an ex-gf. I talk to her every three days or so - but usually she messages me first. sometimes she drunk calls me and drunk txts me. I want to **** this girl bad but I don't know. We are supposed to meet up in like 3 weeks or 2 weeks. I am actually going out of town to see her (possibly bad idea). She had sex with a friend of mine a while back and she has this weird crush on him but she keeps it from me. Only way I know is that he tells me everything. He totally ignores her and doesn't know I want to sleep with her. I dunno. I'm stressed as hell because I can't read body language over a **** instant message conversation. I want to pursue this and want to know the best way to go about it. I totally can't think so clear right now. I think we may be talking to much online and I want to at least not talk to her for a week. one time she mentioned being upset about my friend not liking her but then said "maybe we shouldn't be talking about this". and I'm like "why? because I'm his friend or for some other reason?" and she was like "I don't know". what the heck? I am over-analyzing I know and I blame it on the MSG thanks to crummy Chinese restaurants. curses.
 

“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”

You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.

I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.

Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.

These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.

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stand

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talking to this girl online for like 2 months

Uh.........

I'm stressed as hell because I can't read body language over a **** instant message conversation.

Then why the f.uck are you talking to a girl you want to bang over IMs? God damn this will never make sense to me and I cringe just reading it.
 
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because she is average at best and I want to build RAPPORT. I can't just show up. some base has to be built. plus, like I said, she messages me.
 

stand

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cloneofstenyhoyer said:
because she is average at best and I want to build RAPPORT. I can't just show up. some base has to be built. plus, like I said, she messages me.
She is average at best, but has you stressed out to the core.. lol.. Bull ****.

Build rapport through IMs? Retarded imo.

After talking to her for 2 months you can't just call her and tell her to come over?

She has a crush on your friend, is "average at best" - why are you even wasting your breath? I would take an even money bet that she is using you to get to your friend.

If you don't want to talk to her for a week - there is a block button.. Try using it. I'd recommend not removing her from the block list as well.
 

ZenGodMod

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Sad really. I see your friend has acidently or adently pick up the dons mannerism. He doesn't give a dam shate.
While you cling on to supplimenting her ego. Stop!
Sorry but your friend has got the lead.
This is fight you already lost.
Move on before your energy is wasted some more.
Improve yourself. Start fresh.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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my friend is no Don Juan. why are we hanging out then? I'm supposed to drop this girl just cause my friend slept with her? big whoop.
 

stand

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cloneofstenyhoyer said:
my friend is no Don Juan. why are we hanging out then? I'm supposed to drop this girl just cause my friend slept with her? big whoop.
You're supposed to drop her, because she is using you.

Take off the god damn blind fold, man.
 
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she is never going to be around me and my friend at the same time again. she doesn't talk to me about him. she lives in a different country. (one I am in right now on study abroad). she has no chance of seeing him.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

stand

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cloneofstenyhoyer said:
she is never going to be around me and my friend at the same time again. she doesn't talk to me about him. she lives in a different country. (one I am in right now on study abroad). she has no chance of seeing him.
she mentioned being upset about my friend not liking her but then said "maybe we shouldn't be talking about this". and I'm like "why? because I'm his friend or for some other reason?"
 

splinterkb

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You developed oneitis over the internet? Get a hold of yourself man. Going out of town to visit a girl you've never actually met? No good.
 
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I don't understand how Don Juaning seems to equal for you not giving a girl ANY attention. I am interested. I assume she is interested because she agreed to hanging out with me and she messages me. I'm interested for whatever reason and you guys think I'm supposed to be totally hard to get? yeah lemme never talk to her. great tactic. that's how I get laid everytime. not talking to girls ever.
 
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how is this Oneitis? I'm pursuing like three other girls. doesn't mean I can't get a little stressed.
 
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yeah. so she caught herself real quick. girls can't be interested in more than one guy? as soon as I **** her, he won't be on her mind again.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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stand

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Quite possibly the biggest train wreck of a thread I have read on sosuave so far.

Congratulations.
 
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yeah, well that is only because you are thinking of how you would be treating a HB10. this is not the case.
 

stand

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cloneofstenyhoyer said:
yeah, well that is only because you are thinking of how you would be treating a HB10. this is not the case.
Get a f.ucking grip man. This is ridiculous.
 

splinterkb

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She likes your friend a lot.. going out of town just to see her is a complete waste.. you haven't even hooked up with her. What exactly do you think is gonna happen? You'll woo her by visiting so much she'll sleep with you? Move on.. you're wasting your time.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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