"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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talking to this girl online for like 2 months. I've actually met her in person before. she is a friend of an ex-gf. I talk to her every three days or so - but usually she messages me first. sometimes she drunk calls me and drunk txts me. I want to **** this girl bad but I don't know. We are supposed to meet up in like 3 weeks or 2 weeks. I am actually going out of town to see her (possibly bad idea). She had sex with a friend of mine a while back and she has this weird crush on him but she keeps it from me. Only way I know is that he tells me everything. He totally ignores her and doesn't know I want to sleep with her. I dunno. I'm stressed as hell because I can't read body language over a **** instant message conversation. I want to pursue this and want to know the best way to go about it. I totally can't think so clear right now. I think we may be talking to much online and I want to at least not talk to her for a week. one time she mentioned being upset about my friend not liking her but then said "maybe we shouldn't be talking about this". and I'm like "why? because I'm his friend or for some other reason?" and she was like "I don't know". what the heck? I am over-analyzing I know and I blame it on the MSG thanks to crummy Chinese restaurants. curses.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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stand

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talking to this girl online for like 2 months

Uh.........

I'm stressed as hell because I can't read body language over a **** instant message conversation.

Then why the f.uck are you talking to a girl you want to bang over IMs? God damn this will never make sense to me and I cringe just reading it.
 
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because she is average at best and I want to build RAPPORT. I can't just show up. some base has to be built. plus, like I said, she messages me.
 

stand

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cloneofstenyhoyer said:
because she is average at best and I want to build RAPPORT. I can't just show up. some base has to be built. plus, like I said, she messages me.
She is average at best, but has you stressed out to the core.. lol.. Bull ****.

Build rapport through IMs? Retarded imo.

After talking to her for 2 months you can't just call her and tell her to come over?

She has a crush on your friend, is "average at best" - why are you even wasting your breath? I would take an even money bet that she is using you to get to your friend.

If you don't want to talk to her for a week - there is a block button.. Try using it. I'd recommend not removing her from the block list as well.
 

ZenGodMod

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Sad really. I see your friend has acidently or adently pick up the dons mannerism. He doesn't give a dam shate.
While you cling on to supplimenting her ego. Stop!
Sorry but your friend has got the lead.
This is fight you already lost.
Move on before your energy is wasted some more.
Improve yourself. Start fresh.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

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my friend is no Don Juan. why are we hanging out then? I'm supposed to drop this girl just cause my friend slept with her? big whoop.
 

stand

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cloneofstenyhoyer said:
my friend is no Don Juan. why are we hanging out then? I'm supposed to drop this girl just cause my friend slept with her? big whoop.
You're supposed to drop her, because she is using you.

Take off the god damn blind fold, man.
 
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she is never going to be around me and my friend at the same time again. she doesn't talk to me about him. she lives in a different country. (one I am in right now on study abroad). she has no chance of seeing him.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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stand

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cloneofstenyhoyer said:
she is never going to be around me and my friend at the same time again. she doesn't talk to me about him. she lives in a different country. (one I am in right now on study abroad). she has no chance of seeing him.
she mentioned being upset about my friend not liking her but then said "maybe we shouldn't be talking about this". and I'm like "why? because I'm his friend or for some other reason?"
 

splinterkb

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You developed oneitis over the internet? Get a hold of yourself man. Going out of town to visit a girl you've never actually met? No good.
 
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I don't understand how Don Juaning seems to equal for you not giving a girl ANY attention. I am interested. I assume she is interested because she agreed to hanging out with me and she messages me. I'm interested for whatever reason and you guys think I'm supposed to be totally hard to get? yeah lemme never talk to her. great tactic. that's how I get laid everytime. not talking to girls ever.
 
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how is this Oneitis? I'm pursuing like three other girls. doesn't mean I can't get a little stressed.
 
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yeah. so she caught herself real quick. girls can't be interested in more than one guy? as soon as I **** her, he won't be on her mind again.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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stand

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Quite possibly the biggest train wreck of a thread I have read on sosuave so far.

Congratulations.
 
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yeah, well that is only because you are thinking of how you would be treating a HB10. this is not the case.
 

stand

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cloneofstenyhoyer said:
yeah, well that is only because you are thinking of how you would be treating a HB10. this is not the case.
Get a f.ucking grip man. This is ridiculous.
 

splinterkb

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She likes your friend a lot.. going out of town just to see her is a complete waste.. you haven't even hooked up with her. What exactly do you think is gonna happen? You'll woo her by visiting so much she'll sleep with you? Move on.. you're wasting your time.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

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