Are your dating problems actual problems or excuses?

[BeExcellent]

Well @SW15 look up Kurt Warner. NFL MVP twice, won the Super Bowl, still married to his wife Brenda who is 4 years older than him and was a single mom when they met. But he led that relationship by all accounts, and I'd be willing to bet that has a lot to do with why they have lasted. They also have a strong faith and religious beliefs. She had being his wife top priority, not herself or her own ambitions.

Gisele was about herself, much like Angelina Jolie.

A man needs a woman to get on board with HIS life & agenda, and a smart woman puts her man first. Otherwise there becomes an innate competition between the couple, and that comes out in all manner of ugliness.

Nancy Reagan famously gave up her rising star in Hollywood (she was the better actor) to be Reagan's wife. And she was devoted to him.

That devotion is what men crave from a woman. It is a rare quality and hard to find BUT you as a man need something for her to be devoted to. Tom Brady and Brad Pitt both had plenty for a woman to be devoted to, but did not pick women who were devoted to them as a man.....well Pitt did initially in Jennifer Anniston, but he failed to value her devotion. So he ended up with his just desserts.

Some men have devoted women, and do not value that devotion. Karma can sure be a bytch.

 

[Plinco]

Most here can be prevented, even for short men, by keeping physically fit and being properly socialized early.

Plenty of dumpy looking men have women because ther don’t live in a bubble and never did. No “game” or clownmaxxing required.

Experience is about pattern recognition.

Need to be socially linked up young, as do most men.

Having friends definitely makes life easier, but developing yourself away from conformity is more important. Before you can make the right kind of friends, you must know who you are.

Height is a major issue.

5'5" or lower means that a man will need to have extreme charisma in order to get laid. If he's 5'5" and Hispanic or Filipino, that's less of an issue because Hispanic and Filipina women are accustomed to shorter men. 5'5" and White is going to be a much bigger issue since White women are unaccustomed to shorter men.



This is a real issue. I know a guy who hasn't done well in the sexual marketplace primarily because of the sound of his voice.



High intelligence is usually a bad sign in seduction. It might be linked with a STEM degree, STEM occupation, nerdy/geeky hobbies, or even autism spectrum disorder, all of which dry up the pussie.

The solution is to de-emphasize intelligence and emphasize looks. Develop a good physique from the gym and sports participation. Get better hobbies that women can relate to in a more meaningful way.



If a man gets to his mid-20s+ and he finds himself unattached, he likely needs to live in a major population center in order to have a decent sex and relationship life.

The minimum population of an area that a 25+ man needs to order to have mating environment success is somewhere around 200,000 - 400,000. 500,000+ is better. Every market is different. There are even some challenging markets in the USA with 500,000+ metro populations.



It's possible to get laid and get into relationships without a social circle. It will require more effort. Approaching strangers in real life is a difficult endeavor. Swipe apps are inefficient for all but the top 10-15% of men.

Making friends is a good idea in general. It might not help in mating. I've had friends in my current city but never a viable social circle. I've only had mating interactions outside of my circle.



@BPH is a great example of a broke guy who smashes many women. That's why he's one of the top seducers on this forum.

There are so many men with bachelor's degrees + and white collar work who struggle to get attention from women. There are guys making $75,000+ per year who don't get much in the way of sex/relationships from women.

A good portion of women now have decent jobs and don't need a man for provider provisioning. A bachelor's degree + and a white collar job could get men laid more in the past than in recent times. Women have been getting their own bachelor's degrees + and white collar jobs.

These traits get so much attention because they are measurable. Emotional fortitude, emotional vitality, and communication skills are traits that turn people on or off, and are not transactional.

 

[Thebestthereeveris]

You are Cooked

Sub-3- It’s over G.

Below 5’3- It’s over G.

Voicecel- This can go either way. If your case is mild, you just need to leave your house. If it’s truly severe, you might be cooked. Either way, good luck bro.

No female experience beyond your 20s- If you are 30 or older and have never had a real girlfriend or non-transactional, sober sex, you are royally screwed my dude.

Mental illness-Depends on how severe it is and how willing you are to fix it.

Full-on black or red pill nihilist- If you got an early vasectomy, talk like it’s The Handmaid’s Tale, or preaching passport bro shvt before 40...you are beyond saving bro.

Legitimate, but we can work with it

Below 5’3 to 5’5- You need to looksmax, hobbymax, and stand out massively to attract niche women. Is it easy? No. Is it possible? Yes.

Defeatist victim mentality- You have been brainwashed by red pill trauma and now you are negative and unbearable to be around. You might get quick hookups but it all fizzles fast. Solution: therapy.

Unattractive toxic personality- Usually applies to blue pill guys too. If your personality is garbage, even if you are Chad, women will treat you like dog crap eventually. Solution: therapy.

High intelligence-
Unless you are also Chad, intelligence can work against you when building emotional connections. Smart women are just as hypergamous and toxic, so you need to adapt and learn to connect with more average people. Learn emotional IQ and niche max towards women that find smart guys attractive.

Lack of experience until early or mid 20s
Most guys who struggle ignored learning social skills with women in high school or college. You have to embrace the suck for a few years and grind it out. This is usually average fvcked, but if you don’t fix it by your late 20s, it can get severe.

Obese- Stop chasing women and fix yourself first. Go to therapy and lose weight.

Being sub-5- You have two options: accept that you won’t get genuine desire, or date women in your own height range and be content.

Average fvcked (you are fine with a clear strategy)

I am not white-
Most humans on earth are not white and still find partners. Usually, these guys are stuck in redneck small towns chasing the high value white girls who only date local Chads. Move to a real city and start being realistic with your dating strategy.

Slightly below average height- Work on what you can. Improve style, get hobbies, get interesting.

Overweight- Lose the weight.

Bad location- Move to a better place.

Naive blue pill or scarcity mindset-Fix this by making yourself more attractive and gaining options.

No social circle- Do online dating, go out, approach people, and make friends.

Negative traits (no confidence, weird, low energy, boring, etc.)- First step: acknowledge the problem. Then start fixing it piece by piece.

Leave your house!!

Average height- Leave your house.

Money or job related- Plenty of broke or unemployed dudes are smashing. You are better off washing dishes at a bar than stuck in some soul-sucking 9 to 5 if your goal is to meet & smash women.

I am not Chad -Leave your house.

Bonus: What if I have more than one issue?

The good news: fixing one big problem usually solves others. For example, if you lack experience in your late 20s, it’s probably because you are overweight, boring, lack confidence, and live at home in some dead-end small town. The only ones I see as a dead-on arrival are sub-3, below 5ft 3, and unworkable mental illness.

I am open to reference any other problems that I missed.

pretty funny list. some i agree with some i dont obviously but overall pretty good.

 

[BadBoy89]

Tom Brady, the 6'4" handsome, famous, extremely rich former athlete, also got cheated on by his wife.

Will Smith, one of the most well-known and successful actors of our generation, is married to a woman who treats him like her backup choice to Tupac, and gets slammed by her son's friends.

It's like you can't fathom the world being any other way than how it's presented to you in tabloids...

Bro take it easy. We all on the same side here, trying to figure things out.

Tom Brady being cheated on by his wife has nothing to do with him trying to pick up Sydney Sweeney. Who knows, maybe he tried and got harshly rejected: Maybe they slept together. No one knows the truth. All I am saying is it’s probably 100x easier for him to pick her up than any normal man.

Brad Pitt, Donald Trump, Putin, President Xi, Will Smith, Tom Cruise, Dr, Dre, Justin Trudeau, Warren Bufffet, Bill Gates, half these guys run the world and the other half are rich and powerful. All of them are divorced. Are they Aloha?

Heck I’m at a coffee shop now looking out the window and see a lot of hot girls walking with normal guys. Maybe you are right, maybe some guys on Sosuave can do better with women than rich and powerful men.

 

[Chow Mein]

OP is just another dude that’s jealous of why better looking, taller dudes are snatching up his hoes.
Using terms like OP outside of the traditional term. OP is Original Poster, not Overpowered like what we see in today’s video games.
Dude is still stuck in his own little world of calling people Chads and Stacey’s and alpha and trying to displace blue pill ideology.

Would you spend more than 5 minutes talking to this dude at the bar?

 

[Solomon]

These are stupid guys & I don't feel sorry for them. It's easy to understand why they have no luck - these are not "good guys" though they like to pretend they are. Don't understand why so pressed about women when it doesn't seem they like them.

All this stuff about 80 and 20 percent, "chad" is stupid & cope. If the game was truly dominated by small % of guys and have to be some sort of Chris Hemsworth type guy, all the males running around would be little Chris Hemsworths. If have the good fortune to live in a big city and/or work in service jobs (like restaurant) you have birds eye view to what really goes on. Most guys more or less average appearance, average income and they date, get gfs etc.

Today is the 4th of July (Happy 4th of July to all btw) i'm sure there are many public gatherings across the United States - all men got to do is simply go out and observe to be convinced of the above.

'
Excatly the 80-20 or 90-10 rule only applies online and even then it's impossible for these men to bang them all, statistically speaking there are nearly 40K marriages a week in America alone so it's only Chad's getting married? nope mostly average men and average women. I've noticed a lot of people who live perpetually online have a warped sense of reality, go outside touch grass it's a vibe

 

[CoolWave1331]

'
Excatly the 80-20 or 90-10 rule only applies online and even then it's impossible for these men to bang them all, statistically speaking there are nearly 40K marriages a week in America alone so it's only Chad's getting married? nope mostly average men and average women. I've noticed a lot of people who live perpetually online have a warped sense of reality, go outside touch grass it's a vibe

Yes thanks. I think that makes sense, i've read some of your posts they are usually sensible

That does explain some of the extreme cases. There is good chance suffer from mental stuff & retreat to the internet. Nothing necessarily wrong with this, you can learn a lot online, there's just certain places better off avoiding and some of these guys don't. They not only can't avoid it, but decide to stay there, then they are in real trouble.

Unless the person is an extreme outlier (say hideously ugly due to a facial deformity or extremely short in height) there's always a chance. If there's mental stuff going on some therapy might be necessary. The fact "regular" people can do it should prove encouraging for these guys. Would never say the first smoking hot baddie they come across is just going to fall at their feet, but eventually they'll even be able to get a "nice looking" woman if they put in the work. It's just matter of getting out there, placing yourself in situations where you can meet them. Got to enter the race in order to have a chance to win it.

 

[CornbreadFed]

OP is just another dude that’s jealous of why better looking, taller dudes are snatching up his hoes.
Using terms like OP outside of the traditional term. OP is Original Poster, not Overpowered like what we see in today’s video games.
Dude is still stuck in his own little world of calling people Chads and Stacey’s and alpha and trying to displace blue pill ideology.

Would you spend more than 5 minutes talking to this dude at the bar?

Which point hurt your feelings the most? Poor baby aww

 

[SW15]

Well @SW15 look up Kurt Warner. NFL MVP twice, won the Super Bowl, still married to his wife Brenda who is 4 years older than him and was a single mom when they met. But he led that relationship by all accounts, and I'd be willing to bet that has a lot to do with why they have lasted. They also have a strong faith and religious beliefs. She had being his wife top priority, not herself or her own ambitions.

Kurt Warner and Tom Brady have managed their woman lives differently.

Kurt Warner started dating a single mom and marrying her when he was a nobody. He was playing minor league football and working at a grocery store. His SMV was essentially zero until he became a backup quarterback in 1998. As a backup quarterback, he might have some status that could help him attract women. He became a starting quarterback in 1999 due to an injury to the established starter (the same way Brady became a starting quarterback in 2001). Warner's SMV took off after that but he did not leave his wife due to his higher SMV.

Tom Brady and Brad Pitt both had plenty for a woman to be devoted to, but did not pick women who were devoted to them as a man.

Gisele was about herself, much like Angelina Jolie.

There's an argument that Tom Brady has made bad choices in his woman life. I never understood the Bridget Moynahan choice. She's an older woman. He had already been a part of 2 Super Bowl winning teams by the time of his first date with Moynahan in 2004 and been the MVP of both those Super Bowls. He had far higher SMV than her at that point. He could have gotten a younger and hotter woman in 2004.

Getting Moynahan pregnant in 2006 was a bad choice too.

I agree with your Gisele assessment. It was an interaction that lasted too long. I wonder why Brady didn't see that about Gisele before the marriage. There were 2 years of dating before the marriage.

 

[Sega Genesis]

Well @SW15 look up Kurt Warner. NFL MVP twice, won the Super Bowl, still married to his wife Brenda who is 4 years older than him and was a single mom when they met. But he led that relationship by all accounts, and I'd be willing to bet that has a lot to do with why they have lasted. They also have a strong faith and religious beliefs. She had being his wife top priority, not herself or her own ambitions.

^^I agree BE and don't see how her being older has much to do with anything other than she was born four years before he was.

It has absolutely no bearing on him (or any man) being "alpha" or not. Or what type of wife she will be.

Tom Brady could have just as easily been in a relationship with a woman six years younger and SHE could have been a ball-busting non-compliant "masculine" woman whose self interests over-rode any loyalty to him.

Hopefully one of these days, some of you guys who are so fixated on age will realize it's not black and white and it depends on the woman individually.

HER nature, her personality, her values.

Even her looks! As there are many 'older' women way more attractive than their younger counterparts at least in my neck of the woods (SoCal).

I mean you'd be Shocked when you see some of the younger gals around here (late teens/early 20) who are overweight, out of shape etc etc etc. Shocked!!

Women (late 20s though 50s) often put them to shame!

Rant over! Lol
Enjoy and peace!

 

[BillyPilgrim]

^^I agree BE and don't see how her being older has much to do with anything other than she was born four years before he was.

It has absolutely no bearing on him (or any man) being "alpha" or not. Or what type of wife she will be.

Tom Brady could have just as easily been in a relationship with a woman six years younger and SHE could have been a ball-busting non-compliant "masculine" woman whose self interests over-rode any loyalty to him.

Hopefully one of these days, some of you guys who are so fixated on age will realize it's not black and white and it depends on the woman individually.

HER nature, her personality, her values.

Even her looks! As there are many 'older' women way more attractive than their younger counterparts at least in my neck of the woods (SoCal).

I mean you'd be Shocked when you see some of the younger gals around here (late teens/early 20) who are overweight, out of shape etc etc etc. Shocked!!

Women (late 20s though 50s) often put them to shame!

Rant over! Lol
Enjoy and peace!

LOLZ saying it depends on the woman individually while ignoring factors affecting their peer groups is black and white thinking in itself

When "arguments" are card houses, you've got a catsmeow in your midst.

You know the younger generations' unkemptness is a largely result of societal engineering, right? (nm, of course you don't)

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Kurt Warner and Tom Brady have managed their woman lives differently.

Kurt Warner started dating a single mom and marrying her when he was a nobody. He was playing minor league football and working at a grocery store. His SMV was essentially zero until he became a backup quarterback in 1998. As a backup quarterback, he might have some status that could help him attract women. He became a starting quarterback in 1999 due to an injury to the established starter (the same way Brady became a starting quarterback in 2001). Warner's SMV took off after that but he did not leave his wife due to his higher SMV.



There's an argument that Tom Brady has made bad choices in his woman life. I never understood the Bridget Moynahan choice. She's an older woman. He had already been a part of 2 Super Bowl winning teams by the time of his first date with Moynahan in 2004 and been the MVP of both those Super Bowls. He had far higher SMV than her at that point. He could have gotten a younger and hotter woman in 2004.

Getting Moynahan pregnant in 2006 was a bad choice too.

I agree with your Gisele assessment. It was an interaction that lasted too long. I wonder why Brady didn't see that about Gisele before the marriage. There were 2 years of dating before the marriage.

Giselle is a self-admitted witch

 

[Chow Mein]

Kurt Warner and Tom Brady have managed their woman lives differently.

Kurt Warner started dating a single mom and marrying her when he was a nobody. He was playing minor league football and working at a grocery store. His SMV was essentially zero until he became a backup quarterback in 1998. As a backup quarterback, he might have some status that could help him attract women. He became a starting quarterback in 1999 due to an injury to the established starter (the same way Brady became a starting quarterback in 2001). Warner's SMV took off after that but he did not leave his wife due to his higher SMV.



There's an argument that Tom Brady has made bad choices in his woman life. I never understood the Bridget Moynahan choice. She's an older woman. He had already been a part of 2 Super Bowl winning teams by the time of his first date with Moynahan in 2004 and been the MVP of both those Super Bowls. He had far higher SMV than her at that point. He could have gotten a younger and hotter woman in 2004.

Getting Moynahan pregnant in 2006 was a bad choice too.

I agree with your Gisele assessment. It was an interaction that lasted too long. I wonder why Brady didn't see that about Gisele before the marriage. There were 2 years of dating before the marriage.

Kurt Warner took ownership of his then girlfriend’s autistic child. He didn’t let the fortune or fame get to him because he was such a great character his entire life. Humble and compassion. He’s one of the greatest role models.

 

[MatureDJ]

Need to be socially linked up young, as do most men.

When younger, my SocialCircle was a big SausageFest. @SW15 knows why.

 

[MatureDJ]

Kurt Warner took ownership of his then girlfriend’s autistic child. He didn’t let the fortune or fame get to him because he was such a great character his entire life. Humble and compassion. He’s one of the greatest role models.

Warner is one of the Cuckservatives' icons.

 

[MatureDJ]

In fairness, most of these things aren’t true problems unless it’s something extreme like being under 5’3. And even then a man always can compensate by becoming the best version of himself he can be in other facets. And intelligence is never a bad thing and can help you become an elite conversationalist - which paired with knowing how to dress can you make a powerful cold approache

And you’re implying a vasectomy is a bad thing in some way? I’ve had one for over a year now and it’s the greatest thing ever. I’m close to but still under 40. I had strong swimmers (RIP), so I can’t recommend this enough to guys who don’t want kids.

Interesting list. But don’t agree on a number of things.

Men who get vasectomies before having kids are the ultimate cucks.

 

[SW15]

When younger, my SocialCircle was a big SausageFest. @SW15 knows why.

An all boys high school and a STEM major with mainly male classmates in college creates that issue.

 

[CornbreadFed]

An all boys high school and a STEM major with mainly male classmates in college creates that issue.

My friend that has been through the most shvt with women went to an all boys HS. He can get laid, but he cannot maintain attraction to save his life.

 

[SW15]

My friend that has been through the most shvt with women went to an all boys HS. He can get laid, but he cannot maintain attraction to save his life.

That sounds reasonable to me. The experience of attending an all boys high school can have long term effects on a man's mating environment experiences.

A male spending Grades 9-12 at an all boys school without the right social infrastructure in place can be a significant setback. If a male doesn't enter 9th grade at an all-male high school with a good social network of female friends/acquaintances, Grades 9-12 are going to be socially more difficult.

Many all boys schools host some social events with nearby all girls schools. That sporadic social interaction is not enough. @MatureDJ claimed his all boys school didn't have social events with a nearby all girls school. He also mentioned below that the marriage rate for a graduating class near his year was well below the national average 20 years after high school graduation. As a side note, this was a Gen X era graduating class of the mid to late 1980s. These men got a healthier overall mating environment in their 20s/30s than Gen Y/Millennials had in the 2000s-2010s.

Is it possible for one event to drastically impact the course of a man's dating/sex life?

Yeah in an interview I always say I am looking at other prospects and can't make a decision now. Works all the time Are you in white collar? White collar has taken the worst of this recession.

www.sosuave.net

@CornbreadFed - As for your friend, he is fortunate that he can get laid. Do you have any idea why he can't retain women after sex? It's possible that he's tall/good looking but has poor social skills. The lack of daily female interaction for 4 years can affect social skills for a while after that.

 

[Manure Spherian]

When younger, my SocialCircle was a big SausageFest. @SW15 knows why.

I’m aware of that. Obviously when I refer to proper socializing, I’m talking about exposure to both sexes.