So, I was tramatised. That and since I had been a social outcast in elementray school was a death blow.
SAME HERE!!!
But the thing is... without that "death blow", the phoenix would never have risen from its ashes.
Before, I used to be damn dependent on people. And I always hoped that a SAVIOR would come to deliver me from evil.
College came and then I met her. We became close to each other. She opened up and I opened up. Soon I was thinking that she's the one who is my savior... but no. I was completely wrong. The b!atch just took advantage of my situation and feelings and used me.
I got suicidal and depressed for at least a month. I kept on punching walls... my fists were getting bruised and numb already. I kept on jogging and doing exercise just to shake off the suicidal tendencies in my head.
It was not only the b!tch who was my problem.
Over and above the fact that IM A SOCIAL OUTCAST!!! 20 YEARS AND I ACHIEVED NOTHING AT ALL!!! AND THE FACT THAT I HAVE NOBODY TO TURN TO AND TRUST!!! INCLUDING MY PARENTS, RELATIVES, AND "FRIENDS"!!! I CANNOT TRUST THEM!!! ALL THEIR STUPID BS!!!

I didn't know what to do anymore. When the depression was fading off and when I was beginning to think rational again, I asked myself:
"How the hell did this average looking girl SEDUCE ME?"
I wondered and searched everywhere for answers till I stumbled on this site and other "seduction" sites and books.
And then, life got better for me. I've been more courageous in approaching women, and talking to people. I got stronger ties with my existing friends and made new ones...
I don't believe in "fate" and "destiny" anymore. For 20 years, that BS was shoved into my head. Now, I believe in the change that you can ACHIEVE THROUGH YOUR OWN EFFORT. You have the power. Use it. Save yourself. You are your savior. You are your messiah... Not anybody else.
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Therefore, I'm grateful to God for putting her in my life. Maybe she was the answer to my prayers. All these years, I've been praying to God to change my life. All he wanted to tell me is that I have to change. It is in my own power.
God is the ultimate psychologist. He prolly knew the way I would react if put into that situation EVEN BETTER than I know myself.
If not for her, I would still be in AFC lala land as of this point.
Nasa Diyos ang awa, nasa Tao ang Gawa
***Lame translation: (In God is mercy, in you is actions)
