She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Dude, you have no idea. I tried that, and they deny what they've done. They end up lying to my face and painting themselves as upstanding people who would NEVER do such things! I'm completely blown away at how these people can deliberately lie to my face about things that have happened. Then it just escelates from there.If I were in your shoes, I would probably be honest and bring it all out, and explain why I'm unhappy with them.
Sorry man, but I'm not going to stoop to their level and lie to them.and tell them you love them
Yeah, no 5hit - take my own advice. "If a person is subtracting from your happiness, then it's time to eliminate them from your life." It's kinda kinda sad how I've tried to develop a good relationship with them, and it never works. It's time to quit beating my head against the wall.Desdinova, we have been on a particularily good footing on this website and I know that you are a smart guy. You know what you got to do.
My mother does exactly the same thing. She talks huge amounts of sh1t to my face and later say she did not say anything like that, how could her!Desdinova said:Dude, you have no idea. I tried that, and they deny what they've done. They end up lying to my face and painting themselves as upstanding people who would NEVER do such things! I'm completely blown away at how these people can deliberately lie to my face about things that have happened. Then it just escelates from there.
Your own advice is great.Desdinova said:Yeah, no 5hit - take my own advice. "If a person is subtracting from your happiness, then it's time to eliminate them from your life." It's kinda kinda sad how I've tried to develop a good relationship with them, and it never works. It's time to quit beating my head against the wall.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.