"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Are you paying for your AFC past?

Nighthawk

Master Don Juan
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I've only met my real father once. Guess I'll be seeing him again at my brother's forthcoming gay wedding.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Desdinova

Master Don Juan
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If I were in your shoes, I would probably be honest and bring it all out, and explain why I'm unhappy with them.
Dude, you have no idea. I tried that, and they deny what they've done. They end up lying to my face and painting themselves as upstanding people who would NEVER do such things! I'm completely blown away at how these people can deliberately lie to my face about things that have happened. Then it just escelates from there.

and tell them you love them
Sorry man, but I'm not going to stoop to their level and lie to them.

Desdinova, we have been on a particularily good footing on this website and I know that you are a smart guy. You know what you got to do.
Yeah, no 5hit - take my own advice. "If a person is subtracting from your happiness, then it's time to eliminate them from your life." It's kinda kinda sad how I've tried to develop a good relationship with them, and it never works. It's time to quit beating my head against the wall.
 

djbr

Master Don Juan
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Desdinova said:
Dude, you have no idea. I tried that, and they deny what they've done. They end up lying to my face and painting themselves as upstanding people who would NEVER do such things! I'm completely blown away at how these people can deliberately lie to my face about things that have happened. Then it just escelates from there.
My mother does exactly the same thing. She talks huge amounts of sh1t to my face and later say she did not say anything like that, how could her!

Desdinova said:
Yeah, no 5hit - take my own advice. "If a person is subtracting from your happiness, then it's time to eliminate them from your life." It's kinda kinda sad how I've tried to develop a good relationship with them, and it never works. It's time to quit beating my head against the wall.
Your own advice is great.
 

grinder

Master Don Juan
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The old saying, “You can pick your friends but not your relatives” applies. My parents are both long dead.

I had, what you would call a “memorandum of understanding” with my parents. It quite literally was a set of rules I went by that kept them at arm’s length away, and not in my business.

My mom was just a flat out bad person. You don’t love people like that you just make arrangements to “handle” their behaviour.

I was quite patronizing and condescending to them both and yes, to my mom, I lied and said “I love you”, but, it was part of the arrangement to keep the peace. Who the fvck says you have to tell them the truth all the time?

Diplomacy involves the periodic partaking of sh*t and enjoying it as a delicacy for all to see.
 

Holland

Master Don Juan
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My parents think it's all great that I have a relationship with an awesome girl now. But my parents are pretty cool people and always wanted the best for me. They just never taught me the right stuff ( they weren't able to).

Some of my old friends envy me. But they know who is boss now. WTF we're they going to do about it?
Some are too proud to acknowledge my succes or listen to the advice I give them, too bad for them.
Others do (the less succesfull ones) and they even got succes out of it, then screwed it up by getting waaaaay to excited and turned into AFC mode.

I think it's hilarious. I tell them: Take my advice.
Then they refuse, and crash and burn after they kiss closed a girl one time. :crackup:

I agree that a lot of people try to sabotage you, especially relatives.
I just see those events as tests and challenges, so I can conquer them and end up laughing at how pathetic those people (relatives) are afterwards.
I cut off those people from influencing me. You really get to see who your real friends are.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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