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Are dating sites mostly meant for losers?

bario

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Really interested in your opinion about this topic...

What do you think about OLD (online dating)? I live in a big city, Toronto, so plenty of women for real life approaches, but just want to hear your experiences about OLD in general!
 

rjc149

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There are a lot of losers on OLD sites, for sure. Approaching women online is easy. It doesn’t require effort, courage, confidence, or skill. It doesn't require you to grow a pair and be a man. You type 'hey,' click send, and hope she likes your pics. That's it. What you put in is what you'll get out. Dating apps are fine for keeping a full pipeline to prevent dry spells, but don’t rely on them to get the same quality woman you are capable of getting the old-fashioned way.

That being said, I do use OLD as a supplement to introduce new women into my life. I'm 35, with a 60-70hr per week white collar career, and would not consider myself a loser -- on the contrary I don't have lots of discretionary time and energy (mainly energy) to spend at the bars and clubs practicing game. There's something efficient about lining a date up for happy hour drinks on Thursday or Friday evening, with a woman in my age range, with the approach aspect already handled. Plus, showing up to these dates in a suit and tie after work is an instant SMV booster.
 

biggoal

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There are a lot of losers on OLD sites, for sure. Approaching women online is easy. It doesn’t require effort, courage, confidence, or skill. It doesn't require you to grow a pair and be a man. You type 'hey,' click send, and hope she likes your pics. That's it. What you put in is what you'll get out. Dating apps are fine for keeping a full pipeline to prevent dry spells, but don’t rely on them to get the same quality woman you are capable of getting the old-fashioned way.

That being said, I do use OLD as a supplement to introduce new women into my life. I'm 35, with a 60-70hr per week white collar career, and would not consider myself a loser -- on the contrary I don't have lots of discretionary time and energy (mainly energy) to spend at the bars and clubs practicing game. There's something efficient about lining a date up for happy hour drinks on Thursday or Friday evening, with a woman in my age range, with the approach aspect already handled. Plus, showing up to these dates in a suit and tie after work is an instant SMV booster.
I agree. It must be tough working 50 hours or more a week and meeting anyone in general outside of work. That seems like hell. Probably even worse if you have to travel to other countries.

Now how would you explain all the HB7 and up women on OLD that are on everyday for like 15 hours? Would you say they have issues as well? From what I see in their profiles their expectations are so high that IRL they can't find a guy long term or one that will put up with their BS and they get left and resort to OLD.

Why do you hear so many horror stories on sites like this and Loveshack about OLD from men after going on a date with an OLD girl?
 

sosousage

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There are a lot of losers on OLD sites, for sure. Approaching women online is easy. It doesn’t require effort, courage, confidence, or skill. It doesn't require you to grow a pair and be a man. You type 'hey,' click send, and hope she likes your pics. That's it. What you put in is what you'll get out. Dating apps are fine for keeping a full pipeline to prevent dry spells, but don’t rely on them to get the same quality woman you are capable of getting the old-fashioned way.

That being said, I do use OLD as a supplement to introduce new women into my life. I'm 35, with a 60-70hr per week white collar career, and would not consider myself a loser -- on the contrary I don't have lots of discretionary time and energy (mainly energy) to spend at the bars and clubs practicing game. There's something efficient about lining a date up for happy hour drinks on Thursday or Friday evening, with a woman in my age range, with the approach aspect already handled. Plus, showing up to these dates in a suit and tie after work is an instant SMV booster.
I am a loser, and I am not on OLD, cuz i know 90% of men just waste time there. My life is precious
 

rjc149

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The thing to keep in mind with OLD is that the ONLY thing a woman is going on are your photos you provided. That’s it. Given that even average-looking women are deluged by male interest and thus have an inflated perception of their dating market value from these sites, they are going to be much pickier about physical appearance on these sites.

So height, race, body type, etc are all easier screening methods through many dozens of matches and messages — for attractive women, possibly hundreds. Their preferences IRL become requirements in OLD. As mentioned there are a lot of desperate, socially challenged losers on these apps and women screen them out by seeking visual indicators of status -- tall, handsome, well-dressed white men offer those visual ques.

However, women are more attracted to what they feel emotionally, less by what they see; on OLD, they can only go by what they see. It's an inherent disadvantage for men on dating apps. Alpha presence, social fluency, confidence, charisma, dominance, chemistry, kindness, all of these trump looks in terms of sex appeal to women because they respond emotionally to these traits. None of these can be conveyed on an OLD profile.
 

biggoal

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The thing to keep in mind with OLD is that the ONLY thing a woman is going on are your photos you provided. That’s it. Given that even average-looking women are deluged by male interest and thus have an inflated perception of their dating market value from these sites, they are going to be much pickier about physical appearance on these sites.

So height, race, body type, etc are all easier screening methods through many dozens of matches and messages — for attractive women, possibly hundreds. Their preferences IRL become requirements in OLD. As mentioned there are a lot of desperate, socially challenged losers on these apps and women screen them out by seeking visual indicators of status -- tall, handsome, well-dressed white men offer those visual ques.

However, women are more attracted to what they feel emotionally, less by what they see; on OLD, they can only go by what they see. It's an inherent disadvantage for men on dating apps. Alpha presence, social fluency, confidence, charisma, dominance, chemistry, kindness, all of these trump looks in terms of sex appeal to women because they respond emotionally to these traits. None of these can be conveyed on an OLD profile.
That's true. Is this why IRL we see unattractive men like Rush Limbaugh and President Trump scoring younger and top notch tail? I mean Trump is overweight, doesn't workout. In a polo shirt he looks awful with his gut, and Limbaugh well he's not attractive at all and look at his wife.

Seriously, if Limbaugh wasn't wealthy and famous do you think an high end HB would date a guy who looks like that?

 

backseatjuan

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Is this why IRL we see unattractive men like Rush Limbaugh and President Trump scoring younger and top notch tail?
Wait a minute blind boy.
WTF are talking about unattractive!?
You are judging men like you are judging women, or like gay men judge each other.
Women success find extremely attractive.
@sazc
 

biggoal

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Wait a minute blind boy.
WTF are talking about unattractive!?
You are judging men like you are judging women, or like gay men judge each other.
Women success find extremely attractive.
@sazc
Yes, they're successful. I was meaning by how they look physically. Limbaugh physically is not sexy lol. being a guy would you go out with a 220lb land whale if they had Rush Limbaugh money?
 

biggoal

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Stop thinking like a woman!
Success is fcking hot for them.
So for most of us men who don't have this kind of cash, like others suggested on dates like if you own a small business but don't make gobs of money to word it differently when describing it. That's what people are telling me to do and not give all the details of your business and what it makes early on.
 

backseatjuan

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So for most of us men who don't have this kind of cash
It is not about cash...although there are minimums, because success is cash, in the US and Russia it is 100k....it is being best and if not the best then aiming for the best.

Those men aimed for the best on their success in career. They also got the best in women.

Show me...to prove your perspective... ugly unsuccessful men with hot women.
 

rjc149

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In OLD, women screen men exactly the same way men screen women IRL. The harsh reality is that looks trump everything in OLD. Short or otherwise physically unattractive men are just going to get their egos dinged in OLD regardless of how charming their self-summaries are, which is why it can be a total waste of time and even harmful for some men.

Women are primarily attracted by behavior and interaction that conveys high status. Women with 6 foot height requirements on Tinder or whatever will absolutely date and hook up with a shorter, less handsome man who conveys attractive personality traits to them face to face -- and who has the confidence to actually convey them face to face. Game always trumps looks, but OLD removes that dynamic.
 

biggoal

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In OLD, women screen men exactly the same way men screen women IRL. The harsh reality is that looks trump everything in OLD. Short or otherwise physically unattractive men are just going to get their egos dinged in OLD regardless of how charming their self-summaries are, which is why it can be a total waste of time for some men.

Women are primarily attracted by behavior and interaction that conveys high status. Women with 6 foot height requirements on Tinder or whatever will absolutely date and hook up with a shorter, less handsome man who conveys attractive personality traits to them face to face -- and who has the confidence to actually convey them face to face. Game always trumps looks, but OLD removes that dynamic.
I agree. I work in a market where my business is and I see all these unattractive, fat, grey hairing, otherwise looking sloppy men with Hb7s to 9s and younger women and wonder WTF. I'm not old or do I have grey hair or fat and I get pissed off how some lardball gets an HB8 who looks nasty or like a hillbilly. Just aggravates me. Should i develop a beer belly?
 

Dash Riprock

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I've been on OLD a lot over the past 3 years. I've dated over 80 different women and most have come from OLD so a lot of data points and patterns have emerged. I concur with @rjc149 in that not all of us have that much time to seek out women in bars, clubs, Whole Foods, wherever, spin 4-5 plates because we're busy as f*uck and have other interests and passions. Plus I'm over 40. I have a life outside of women including running a business and maintaining top physical shape and playing sports plus a huge dog which needs exercise, etc. etc, so OLD is almost a necessary evil for me if I want to meet women.

Here are a few random observations about my OLD experience:

- Match, OKC, and POF are the WORST. Have MUCH better results with Hinge and Bumble.
- My reply rate is pretty high for Hinge and Bumble, by OLD standards. I will admit I'm probably better looking than most of the dudes on there. Just saying.
- But...most of the hot women on OLD are running their version of "dating tryouts." Their availability can be slim, and throw in their kids and a job on top of their "tryouts" and it can be really difficult to nail down a date. If I sense this, I eject.
- I have found my trigger point for ejecting from seeing someone is MUCH lower now than a couple years ago. I don't put up with flaky crap at all. OLD taught me this and other inconsiderate habits I now employ regularly because IDGAF.
- I hear many horror stories from most of the women I date...which means....
- There are many CLUELESS men on OLD, plain and simple. They crafted a few good pics and catchy lines and got a date. But IRL, most are SIMPs and have zero social skills or presence. And they're f*ucking it up for everyone else.
- Bad behavior and flakiness is very common, mostly due to the Paradox of Choice--or Google it.
- I use hookup sites like a boss. SDM is my fave. Finding girls 20+ years younger to date and have s*ex with is easy as f*uck. I was shocked when I first tried. I pay zero $ to these girls. MANY women (18-30) wants flings with older, mature, in-shape, good-looking men. It's a fantasy for some of them, seriously. But, these go nowhere fast. Usually ONS stuff, which is understood and I'm fine with.

I actually rebooted a matchmaking service I use to see if I can find a decent, attractive women to hang with. Had good results with it before. First date next week.

~Dash
 
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biggoal

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I've been on OLD a lot over the past 3 years. I've dated over 80 different women and most have come from OLD so a lot of data points and patterns have emerged. I concur with @rjc149 in that not all of us have that much time to seek out women in bars, clubs, Whole Foods, wherever, spin 4-5 plates because we're busy as f*uck and have other interests and passions. Plus I'm over 40. I have a life outside of women including running a business and maintaining top physical shape and playing sports plus a huge dog which needs exercise, etc. etc, so OLD is almost a necessary evil for me if I want to meet women.

Here are a few random observations about my OLD experience:

- Match, OKC, and POF are the WORST. Have MUCH better results with Hinge and Bumble.
- My reply rate is pretty high for Hinge and Bumble, by OLD standards. I will admit I'm probably better looking than most of the dudes on there. Just saying.
- But...most of the hot women on OLD are running their version of "dating tryouts." Their availability can be slim, and throw in their kids and a job on top of their "tryouts" and it can be really difficult to nail down a date. If I sense this, I eject.
- I have found my trigger point for ejecting from seeing someone is MUCH lower now than a couple years ago. I don't put up with flaky crap at all. OLD taught me this and other incinerate habits I now employ regulatory because IDGAF.
- I hear many horror stories from most of the women I date...which means....
- There are many CLUELESS men on OLD, plain and simple. They crafted a few good pics and catchy lines and got a date. But IRL, most are SIMPs and have zero social skills or presence. And they're f*ucking it up for everyone else.
- Bad behavior and flakiness is very common, mostly due to the Paradox of Choice--or Google it.
- I use hookup sites like a boss. SDM is my fave. Finding girls 20+ years younger to date and have s*ex with is easy as f*uck. I was shocked when I first tried. I pay zero $ to these girls. MANY women wants flings with older, mature, in-shape, good-looking men. But, these go nowhere fast. Usually ONS stuff.

I actually rebooted a matchmaking service I use to see if I can find a decent, attractive women to hang with. Had good results with tit before. First date next week.

~Dash
POF is the worst. Mostly white trash and bots. OKC is mostly trash too but if you can find a decent woman on OKC you might have a shot. It seems those don't get as many messages as match and such because most figure it's pure trash.

Tell me more about this Hinge one. I don't really understand how it works still.
 

Dash Riprock

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POF is the worst. Mostly white trash and bots. OKC is mostly trash too but if you can find a decent woman on OKC you might have a shot. It seems those don't get as many messages as match and such because most figure it's pure trash.

Tell me more about this Hinge one. I don't really understand how it works still.
Hinge is mobile-only and is very brief. You answer a few fun, quirky questions and upload a max of 6 pics. I like the brevity of it. Very similar to Bumble re: the app GUI. SO MUCH better than the big sites.
 

biggoal

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Hinge is mobile-only and is very brief. You answer a few fun, quirky questions and upload a max of 6 pics. I like the brevity of it. Very similar to Bumble re: the app GUI. SO MUCH better than the big sites.
So do you swipe on profiles? Is it like Bumble for example or more like Match where you search profiles?
 
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