I hear this concept all the time in the dating world, "the best way to get over the fear of approaching is just to approach". I am wondering how approaching, whether you get blown out or not, is supposed to help one get over the fear of approaching. Is it desensitazion of sorts? Or what's the theory behind it?
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Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.
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Approaching to get over the Approach??
- Thread starter Drewskie
- Start date
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
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Yes, it's desensitisation. It pushes you out of your comfort zone. It also gives you practice. Just like anything, the more you do something, the better you get. Just make sure you learn from your mistakes.
CrazyandLazy
Don Juan
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Desensitizing is not healthy.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Just don't go out ho chasing that just brings alot of rejection and negitivity
into your life. Sure you'll get props on here for having iron balls but in the end it's not really worth it. Go where the fish are bitting and do your approches.
I hope you understand what Im saying.
into your life. Sure you'll get props on here for having iron balls but in the end it's not really worth it. Go where the fish are bitting and do your approches.
I hope you understand what Im saying.
arutha
Senior Don Juan
I don't see it as desensitizing actually... The masters around here (in fact I just read a Pook post that said exactly this) can tell you from experience that rejection feels a LOT better than regret. You approach, get rejected, and you will realise this first hand. You will instantly enjoy the experience (unless she really burned you... but very few girls do) and you will now WANT to keep doing it. Once you make the first few approaches it gets fun instead of scary and really snowballs.Drewskie said:I hear this concept all the time in the dating world, "the best way to get over the fear of approaching is just to approach". I am wondering how approaching, whether you get blown out or not, is supposed to help one get over the fear of approaching. Is it desensitazion of sorts? Or what's the theory behind it?
I understand the desensitization thing but it seems like you have to keep at it otherwise you lose it. For example when I haven't done it for a while, it takes a little bit to be good at it again, like I have to start all over. Some people never have this problem because it's just who they are. Some people have to work at it.
I can't say looking back where I regret hitting on a girl. I regret not hitting on them.
I can't say looking back where I regret hitting on a girl. I regret not hitting on them.
ALPHAROMEO
Banned
have you heard of CBT?
In the left column you list all the reasons why you can t approach
for instance " i am ugly i can t attract the women " OR " i am a phoney ( society disapproves of guys approaching women on the street "
in the right comum you argue with yoursel
" i am ugly " " not everybody ll find me ugly !! women rate looks number 4 IN A LATEST SURVEY " "i ve seen real eyesores going out top models " ( your arguments must be based on truth on rationality
next
i am a phoney" right column " talking to women is a process a laguage of its own !! Small talk is a necessary element ( sorry guys but being yorself doesn t work )! everydody when courting a chick is on their best behavior ( evrybody )( it s a fact ) marketeer when trying his products is not his real self ;he s a marketeer etc
see how it works ?
YOU DO THIS EXERCISE EVERYDAY FOR 4 WEEKS AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS
based on aaron beck s cognitive psychology
In the left column you list all the reasons why you can t approach
for instance " i am ugly i can t attract the women " OR " i am a phoney ( society disapproves of guys approaching women on the street "
in the right comum you argue with yoursel
" i am ugly " " not everybody ll find me ugly !! women rate looks number 4 IN A LATEST SURVEY " "i ve seen real eyesores going out top models " ( your arguments must be based on truth on rationality
next
i am a phoney" right column " talking to women is a process a laguage of its own !! Small talk is a necessary element ( sorry guys but being yorself doesn t work )! everydody when courting a chick is on their best behavior ( evrybody )( it s a fact ) marketeer when trying his products is not his real self ;he s a marketeer etc
see how it works ?
YOU DO THIS EXERCISE EVERYDAY FOR 4 WEEKS AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS
based on aaron beck s cognitive psychology
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
ALPHAROMEO
Banned
the kamikaze technique
i am out on the street
the moment i see a chick , i approach her like a bat would attack its prey i don t hesitate *****foot i just dive in
in the course of 10 MINUTES i approach posibly 10 CHICKS then my job s done
now i feel good psychologically and i feel more confident about walking up to other women
To paraphrase a famous ZEN author I SHOoT THE FIRST WOMAN I SEE ( if you see the buddha shoot himby PHIL KAPLEAU )
if the chicks turns out to be a ugler i just bail out after 30 SECONDS BUT IN A COURTEOUS WAY
my opener
i got a townmap in my hands and ask for directions ( no sexual intent whatsoever hence no AA )
i am out on the street
the moment i see a chick , i approach her like a bat would attack its prey i don t hesitate *****foot i just dive in
in the course of 10 MINUTES i approach posibly 10 CHICKS then my job s done
now i feel good psychologically and i feel more confident about walking up to other women
To paraphrase a famous ZEN author I SHOoT THE FIRST WOMAN I SEE ( if you see the buddha shoot himby PHIL KAPLEAU )
if the chicks turns out to be a ugler i just bail out after 30 SECONDS BUT IN A COURTEOUS WAY
my opener
i got a townmap in my hands and ask for directions ( no sexual intent whatsoever hence no AA )