Approaching stranger girls/women (when, how + closing)

[The Next Big Thing]

This is a topic which is really important for me and I believe also for many others because of many reasons. But most importantly, I think many men feel like me, that they are really social and good with women if they are talking with them already but the issue arises when you haven´t talked to her yet and have not a "legitimate" reason to talk to her.
I am talking about situation which has happened to me so many times in my life and I never acted upon it so I am full of regrets. It is when I walk down the street or I am in a bus/train/metro and I see a girl I find absolutely gorgeous, like literally my type and I want to get to know her so much. For me 2 basic issues arise:
1.When to approach?
and
2.How to approach?

By the "WHEN to approach" I mean 2 situations:
1.) the woman noticed you - a) seems interested (eye contact, staying close to you, smiling...)
-approach? - YES!
b) seems neutral/non-interested
-approach? - this is what I am not sure about, yes or no?
2.) the woman hasn´t noticed you - approach? - probably yes...but accomodate based on her initial reaction

What do you think? What is your opinion and what would you do in these situations?

By the "HOW to approach" I mean literally how to approach, what to say to this girl/woman depending on the situations I described above.
Obviously, it is the easiest when you are almost 100 % sure she wants you to approach her...that is why I got so much regrets that I didn´t do it so many times.
But then there is the situation when you cannot realize if she is interested or not and also the situation when she hasnt noticed you (PLUS she can have also headphones...or she noticed you BUT has headphones...or she noticed you, you thought she was maybe interested, but after a while you make no move she puts headphones lol).


I saw couple of videos on youtube where the guys kept it simple and honest. First they asked for directions (even though they didnt need them) and then they said something like "Actually, Im gonna be honest with you, I just wanted to talk with you because I thought you are very cute and gorgeous and I just wanted to introduce myself and get to know you." and proceed the conversation from there.

Do you think this is a good approach? Would you suggest something different?

Also last issue is with getting the girl´s number or something else to contact her (instagram, FB, etc...) DURING TIME CONSTRAINTS. Even though I have never approach a girl with that line I just described, I met some girls who I basically didnt know so to speak but I decided to break the ice and when I do that I think Im quite good at it, but Im struggling now with the part how to get her number or whatever if we have just limited amount to speak. I know girls who after maybe 20 minutes of talking didnt give me their contact ... well, they just said they dont have that particular platform but I think if they would really want to stay in touch they would suggest a different one.
I also know girls who I have talked to for less time but they seemed really interested but also said they dont have the particular platform (instagram in this case), so I didnt even ask for the number.

This is why I really dont know how am I supposed to get a girl´s contact after such an extremely short time talking after we just met when I came up to her completely randomly (street, stop, bus, whatever...). I dont know if it is just here in Europe but some girls make such a big deal out of it, I thought it is natural to ask for a contact for someone you would like to hangout with...but now Im so hesitant to even ask because usually they just freeze like I want their soul or something lol ... and I really dont know why, Im not a creep or anything, most people who know me say Im extremely social and good with girls and thats why this just gets on my nerves lol.


So we got 3 problems regarding approaching stranger girls/women:
1.When to approach?
2.How to approach?
3.How to get her contact under time contraints

I am really looking for some good advice sharing here. I know this is a community full of experienced and wise people so let´s get it on.
Thank you advance for your answers!

 

[cola]

When to approach:
When you get a sign interest. Prologned eye contact, smile, caught her looking at you while you were looking away, looked at you and started fixing clothes/twirling hair.

How to approach:
Up to you, but do it immediately.

He who hesitates is lost.

Getting contact info in time constraints:
"Hey, we don't have a lot of time but I want to date you and will need your number to contact you, we can text later to get to know each other a bit".
<hand her your phone>..

 

[Spaz]

When to approach:
When you get a sign interest. Prologned eye contact, smile, caught her looking at you while you were looking away, looked at you and started fixing clothes/twirling hair.

How to approach:
Up to you, but do it immediately.

He who hesitates is lost.

Getting contact info in time constraints:
"Hey, we don't have a lot of time but I want to date you and will need your number to contact you, we can text later to get to know each other a bit".
<hand her your phone>..

Clever^^.

Always look for signs of interest then approach. Women will always subconsciously send signals that they find you attractive.

Do a simple test, hv drinks in Starbucks and just stare at a particular table with women, when they notice you, give them a small slow wicked smile, observe them, most will giggle to each other, some might find you attractive and starts to adjust cloths, hair or even start to caress their throats - that's ur cue to make ur moves.

If you lack confidence, then you can test it by using sunglasses.

 

[fanatic22]

It depends completely on how tough you are. If you're very insecure, you'll wait for a woman to approach you. If you give no fvcks about rejection and do not let it determine your self worth, you'll watch a woman reject 5 guys in 3 minutes and approach anyway.

That happened to me by the way.

Me: "Wow, that was a bloodbath. I was gonna hit on you but I'm having second thoughts."
Her: *laughs* "Where are you from?"
etc.

Is that usually the result I get from women who are clearly on the defense and disinterested in my approach? No. But if it only works 5% of the time, that's fine by me. The more you approach, the more you'll succeed.

 

[The Next Big Thing]

Thank you so much guys!
So basically, all of you say that one should approach only when he sees signs of interest from a woman.
But what if the woman hasnt noticed me OR has noticed me, looked at me, but Im not sure if she actually liked me or not (since her look was more neutral).

 

[Glassguy]

I have my best results with the KISS method. I would normally make a comment about something (her hair, shoes, clothes,etc) but NOT say anything about her being attractive. If she bites and is receptive I turn it into a very quick conversation. After a minute or two (if that) I tell her that I have to run, but I would like to continue the convo later and either get her number or get her phone and put my number in it and send myself a text from her phone while doing so.

Wait a day or two and hit her up.

KISS- Keep it simple stupid!

 

[fanatic22]

Thank you so much guys!
So basically, all of you say that one should approach only when he sees signs of interest from a woman.
But what if the woman hasnt noticed me OR has noticed me, looked at me, but Im not sure if she actually liked me or not (since her look was more neutral).

I totally disagree with waiting for signs of interest. Hot women especially are awful at giving off signs.

 

[Red Legg]

I can't comment on Cola's advice, as I've never received a "sign of interest" before.

Trust me you have received a sign of interest from women before but first you need to pull your head out of your ass to see it.

 

[The Next Big Thing]

I totally disagree with waiting for signs of interest. Hot women especially are awful at giving off signs.

Exactly. It is so rare to see a really hot woman show definite sings of interest. In my experience, even if they do, they do it really subtly or immediately tone it down (that is what I was talking about, that for example they look at you but thats it...even if they like you, they will not stare at you).
But there are exceptions of course which are easier to deal with. But now we are talking about the more complicated ones.

 

[skinnyguy]

I cold approached a woman at the car wash yesterday and she was so receptive.

-she didn’t show any signs of initial interest
-she was sitting by herself waiting for her car to get done
-I asked her if she was glad it wasn’t raining anymore so that she could get her car washed and it turned into a whole conversation

She was an HB 7 who was dressed professionally.

My biggest problem is that I think too much. I didn’t think at all I just went right up to her and started talking.

 

[fanatic22]

I went through the girls I've banged and only 20% showed any interest before I went for it. More than 50% were not even facing me. You just need to get hit with rejections repeatedly until you stop fearing them.

 

[Stallionstud]

I was at a bar and this girls company was calling at me saying she’s single. Kind of an extreme situation. I waited till she left for the bathroom when she got back I was sitting next to her spot laughing with her friends. They left us alone, got her card. Kissed, I left. We bang regularly now

 

[CharlieCW]

1.When to approach?
As soon as you decide that you're interested in her and when you see a good opportunity (ex. she's alone, she's relaxed, she's not busy). If you can make eye contact first to test the grounds it's good, but it's not required. In general, don't spend too much time thinking and just launch yourself to the action.

2.How to approach?
Just go straight and talk to her. Avoid being creepy by overstaying or making things too elaborate. What you say is not really important, it matters more how you say it and to clearly state your intentions (remember, confidence and teasing are your allies).

3.How to get her contact under time contraints
After engaging her for a minute or two: "Hey it was nice to talking to you but I gotta go. Let's meet someday to take a cup of coffee/tea". If she's interested she will give you some way to contact her; if she's shy you can just straight ask for her phone number. If she's not responsive, she's not interested so leave her and move on.

 

[The Next Big Thing]

I was at a bar and this girls company was calling at me saying she’s single. Kind of an extreme situation. I waited till she left for the bathroom when she got back I was sitting next to her spot laughing with her friends. They left us alone, got her card. Kissed, I left. We bang regularly now

lol nice

 

[The Next Big Thing]

I went through the girls I've banged and only 20% showed any interest before I went for it. More than 50% were not even facing me. You just need to get hit with rejections repeatedly until you stop fearing them.

I think you are absolutely right. Rejections is just part of it.
My problem, though, is that when a girl I really like rejects me (or more of them), I feel like Im not good enough, not good looking lol and stuff like that...
However, if it happens that recently I just spent time with some of my hot female friends or I just had other succesful form of interaction with good looking women, it is much easier to face rejection...because you just think, well, I dont give a damn about this girl because I know those other hot girls and they like me.
But I do realize this is all about psychology and mental approach and actually I need to learn to care even less what others tink, regardless of the fact if I had good or bad experiences with women recently. Its just a bit harder if they were mostly bad.

 

[The Next Big Thing]

1.When to approach?
As soon as you decide that you're interested in her and when you see a good opportunity (ex. she's alone, she's relaxed, she's not busy). If you can make eye contact first to test the grounds it's good, but it's not required. In general, don't spend too much time thinking and just launch yourself to the action.

2.How to approach?
Just go straight and talk to her. Avoid being creepy by overstaying or making things too elaborate. What you say is not really important, it matters more how you say it and to clearly state your intentions (remember, confidence and teasing are your allies).

3.How to get her contact under time contraints
After engaging her for a minute or two: "Hey it was nice to talking to you but I gotta go. Let's meet someday to take a cup of coffee/tea". If she's interested she will give you some way to contact her; if she's shy you can just straight ask for her phone number. If she's not responsive, she's not interested so leave her and move on.

Thank you! Thats a great advice!
But how do you differentiate between shy and not responsive?
For example I say "I would really like to hang out with you sometimes. We should go for a coffee or a lunch or whatever" ... and then just wait that shes gonna give me her number? If nothing happens, it means she is shy or not responsive?