"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Approach Journal

chickenlegs03

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Okay, so I haven't got laid in 4 months, and I feel like I've literally gone from pimp to wimp since moving to a new town. Fvck excuses...I've become lazy and risk-averting. I'm otherwise social/outgoing, but just kept to myself using a 'busy schedule' as an excuse. (I do, however, live in a fairly small town, so it is very easy to run into the same people twice). But I've also not been masturbating for the past 27 days, which certainly adds gasoline to the fire of frustration inside me.

This will be a modified/intense bootcamp for you guys like me, who have really hit a drought and need to get back on their feet. I've really found it helpful to try and accomplish a goal with others...it builds a supportive, encouraging environment, and really helps everyone to succeed. I made another thread yesterday...but I really don't think I could do it alone, not after 4 months. I hope there's others who want to do this.

Here's what I'm thinking it should entail:

Timespan of 2-3 weeks. First 2 days we'll warm-up by greeting girls here and there. Then onto the approaches from there. I'd say 25-40 is a good number for 2-3 weeks. And for approaches, quality of interaction is more important than just going for the number. The goal, however, should be to try to get dates.

I'll be starting on Monday, hopefully by then a few more guys will join me. And please, add ideas, let's work this thing out together.

thanks,
c-legs
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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chickenlegs03

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chickenlegs03 approach journal

I'll be doing 40 approaches in the next two weeks to get my ass back to par. I've been in a 4-month drought of not getting laid. No excuses, I've become lazy and avoided risks. Time to lose the ego, and get my ass back in the game.

I made a thread yesterday (Modified/Advanced BC, Approaches, Challenge?) to see if anyone wants to join me...guess no responses. Oh well, in case you want to join in, I'll just extend the time-period and add more approaches, no prob.

And I'm sorry for any 'psuedo-advice' I may have given anyone up to this point with regards to women. I sincerely apologize if I have mislead anyone with my keyboard-jockey advice. I am really guilty of it, and I will only post in this one thread on the Discussion board until I get myself together again.
 

chickenlegs03

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5/12/06_
Approach #1 (2 set)

Only got about one opportunity today. Got on the bus in the morning, and saw some girl by herself, but she looked pretty pissed? Apparently her and her friends had got into an argument, so then she goes and sits somewhere else and her two friends pop-up. One is a fat black chick, the other seems like a cute brunette...or so I thought, lol.

Anyway, I had my iPod on, and they were talking, and one of them made fun of the other...I was slightly listening, and it made me laugh. The fat girl was like, "what are you laughing at?" lol, and I just took it from there. Got into a little convo with them, though dry, and joked with them a bit.

Turned out they were in middle school! 7th-8th graders! damn...sheesh, I laughed out loud when they said that. And at that point I just let the conversation die...

...I gotta admit though, one of them was really cute. I feel wrong saying that, but for some reason she just was...even if she was 14. I don't know, girls these days, you have to be careful, looks can really be deceiving.

Anyway, I'm already starting to feel a bit better.
 

losDJ

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Hey chickenlegs, keep posting. Blackdragon is in for the summer as am I, so let us know what progress you're making. Also, stay far far away from questionably young girls. Don't even play around with that trouble.:nono:
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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thefonz

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Good Luck G,

I'll be there very shortly......

P.S - Just got through reading "The Game" by Style (Neil Strauss). HIGHLY recommend it! Really gets you in the right frame of mind for this stuff. Check it out.:up:
 

Mission

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Alright bud, I will do this with you, better to have someone to compete with just to add more fuel to the fire.

--Mission
 

Blackdragon5095

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losDJ said:
Hey chickenlegs, keep posting. Blackdragon is in for the summer as am I, so let us know what progress you're making. Also, stay far far away from questionably young girls. Don't even play around with that trouble.:nono:
Ooooh I look forward to reading it. I hope you start soon man. :rockon:
 

chickenlegs03

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Mission said:
Alright bud, I will do this with you, better to have someone to compete with just to add more fuel to the fire.

--Mission
sweet, thanks.

Yeah, so write a little about yourself, why you're doing this, what you wanna get out of it.

And then just start in this thread on Monday. I'll report here too. Note that I'm going to tell the mods to change the name of the thread to "80 Approaches in 2 Weeks"
 

chickenlegs03

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^ thanks guys...btw, I'll be sure to check out "the game" next time I'm at B&N.

5/15/06_

Wow, the approach anxiety struck me like a head on train today. I realized I had much more opportunities than I actually took. Damn, I just felt so rusty.

Approach #2

Girl was sitting by herself on a bench reading a book at the bus stop. I just said "hi" and she turned and said "hi"...pretty dry and emotionless. I asked if she was a student (which she said no), and what she was reading..."Da Vinci code" ...very briefly talked about that. Then I had to use the restroom. When I got back I had to get on the bus. I'd told her to watch my stuff for me...wish I'd had more time to extend the convo after I got back.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

When I was walking on campus I noticed a really hottie walking behind me, and after a block or two, I finally turned around and asked, "are you following me?" She smiled and said "no" ...that was gay, and I am very much in need of more practice. I had sooo many other opportunities though to jump into convos or approach but just froze everytime. At least though, I am becoming more observant again...

Overall, though, I did make more conversations with ordinary people. Just trying to get into the vibing, social mood.

I'll do better tomorrow...these first 2 have sucked...gotta get the ball rolling soon.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Mission

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A little about me eh.
Well I am 18 years old and live in Canada, I am doing this mostly for fun and so that I can constantly be improving my game, I am deeply competitive so I think that by having someone else to "compete" with will help for sure.
Just a bit about myself personally, I am an avid mountain biker and have had a couple of sponsors, currently I am working as a bartender (great fun) and I am attending University in Victoria next year. I have had quite a few girlfriends since I turned about 15 and mostly joined this community to learn as much as I can, and to get back on my feet after a rough breakup from a serious relationship over a year ago, so now I am fairly deep into the game, and having a great time doing it all.

--Mission
 

chickenlegs03

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Mission said:
A little about me...
sounds pretty cool. You seem really competitive. I hope you're doing better than me with the approaches...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

As for myself, I think I hit a new low today.

Today was quite a reality check. I realized that not getting laid lately has certainly been my fault alone. I'm so self-defeating and discourage myself out of every possible approach opportunity.

I've notice I have trouble even smiling at girls or people in general...I am sooo different from how I used to be. Man, I can't fvcking relax...I feel so tense, pissed off, like I want to rip someone to shreds. I've noticed I'm developing a temper...perhaps because nothing seems to go right any more.

:cuss:

I updated the thread to just make a point that I haven't forgotten about my goal, I know the deadline is getting closer...It's very much on my mind.
 

Blackdragon5095

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Mission said:
A little about me eh.
Well I am 18 years old and live in Canada, I am doing this mostly for fun and so that I can constantly be improving my game, I am deeply competitive so I think that by having someone else to "compete" with will help for sure.
Just a bit about myself personally, I am an avid mountain biker and have had a couple of sponsors, currently I am working as a bartender (great fun) and I am attending University in Victoria next year. I have had quite a few girlfriends since I turned about 15 and mostly joined this community to learn as much as I can, and to get back on my feet after a rough breakup from a serious relationship over a year ago, so now I am fairly deep into the game, and having a great time doing it all.

--Mission
Not to be d!ckhead agian but I think it would be better if you had your own journal or redo it as Mission and chicken legs apporach journal.

To just jump in someone's Apporach journal and say " hey I'm gonna compete against you" isn't very cool. Apporaching women is about finding your confidence. This is my race. This is self-improvement.

If you are looking for a race to apporaching women then I dare you to challege some of the Dj masters and Pua's around here.
 

Blackdragon5095

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chickenlegs03 said:
sounds pretty cool. You seem really competitive. I hope you're doing better than me with the approaches...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

As for myself, I think I hit a new low today.

Today was quite a reality check. I realized that not getting laid lately has certainly been my fault alone. I'm so self-defeating and discourage myself out of every possible approach opportunity.

I've notice I have trouble even smiling at girls or people in general...I am sooo different from how I used to be. Man, I can't fvcking relax...I feel so tense, pissed off, like I want to rip someone to shreds. I've noticed I'm developing a temper...perhaps because nothing seems to go right any more.

:cuss:

I updated the thread to just make a point that I haven't forgotten about my goal, I know the deadline is getting closer...It's very much on my mind.

Don't give up. Listen to some music about pimpin women. Or a song gets you ready for a fight.

I feel that you have alot of fear for apporaching women. Maybe you should start off saying hi or hey couple times. Once you feel ok just doing that. Then start saying more things.
OR
Get used to starting convos with strangers. ( Anyone men or women )

Chickenlegs Remember this and say this to yourself when you go to apporach.

"If I don't apporach, I won't learn anything."
 

chickenlegs03

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Blackdragon5095 said:
"If I don't apporach, I won't learn anything."
thanks man, I let that statement really ring through my head today.

5/17/06_

This morning on the way to class, I said "hi" to a girl I walked by. From that experience, I learned that I should talk more loudly/clearly.

Approach #3
At the bus stop, I saw this girl waiting for the bus door to open. So I finally muster it up to go stand next to her, and we looked at each other...though with shades on so I couldn't see her eyes really. On the bus, I purposely sat in a seat close to hers, to the side. Damn, I hesitated sooo much on this, but I was finally like, "you headed downtown?"

It was as if she had been waiting for me to talk to her. And she was like "I work downtown, blah blah blah," and I told her about how I work, etc. And soon the bus stopped and I was like, "have a good one," and we parted, but she was headed the same direction as me off the bus, so I asked, "what's your name?" And she said, "blah" and I was like, "my name is c-legs," and shook her hand and it took her 2 tries to pronounce it right. And I was like, "ya know, because I'll probably run into you again or something." She seemed really friendly/smiley.

It felt really great, and the rest of my day I felt elevated and just plain ballsy. Anyway, I think 40 approaches could be difficult to squeeze in, but I will do my best to make it...especially now that I got this one under my belt.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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chickenlegs03

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Blackdragon5095 said:
To just jump in someone's Apporach journal and say " hey I'm gonna compete against you" isn't very cool. Apporaching women is about finding your confidence. This is my race. This is self-improvement.
thanks Black...but I actually asked for some competition, and I was hoping it could get me off my ass more if someone was doing it with me.

by the way, Mission, where you at? I hope you're still at.

^and thanks Microphone, for the support.
 

chickenlegs03

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flows101 said:
hey chickenlegs03 keep up the good work man its good to know more and more people are going out in to the field plus a few other people are doing this aswell like me and blackdragon5095 so your not alone :D
That's awesome, especially since you guys also have your approach numbers written in your sig's like myself.

Anyway, had a pretty hectic day today and nearly figured that there were no chances to approach...I just didn't see any girls, and didn't have much time overall...was constantly running back and forth from class/work, etc.

5/18/06_

Approach #4
Still, what da ya know, I rarely run into anyone in the elevator these days in my apartment complex, but today I did. So, I walked in and pressed the button and noticed a girl walk in with me.

I just turned to her and said, "hi"

She totally was not expecting someone to start a conversation with her in the elevator (though this is something I used to do all the time). She kind of turned to me and said "hi" back, and took off her shades. Here's how the convo went from there...

Me: "yeah...hey, I've barely met anyone here besides my roommates..."
Her: "oh yeah? when did you move in?"
Me: "Blah blah"
Her: "Oh, I didn't know you could move in blah blah...so where did you transfer from?"
Me: "Blah"
<out of the elevator>
Her: "Oh really? I have cousins that live there...they live in blah city...yeah I've only been there once"
Me: "Oh really? That's cool"
Her: "Yeah, it seems the people there are much friendlier..."
Me: "Yeah, they're much more open, it seems"

And basically after that she was going a different direction and I asked her name (she really wasn't expecting me to after such a short conversation I guess - seemed surprised) and I told her mine. Then we said bye and parted.

Overall, not bad. I'm just getting back into the habit of taking up opportunities. :cheer:
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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