"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
approach anxiety
- Thread starter david90
- Start date
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
belividere
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 6, 2005
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- 956
- Reaction score
- 5
- Age
- 47
h2o
Banned
and, do it for yourself...remember you're doing it to get over the fear...the whole point is to face your fear...so regardless of what the girl says/does, etc, you will have succeeded in facing your fear.
oh yeah, and approach.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
approach. chance of success > 0%.
don't approach. chance of succes = 0%.
thats the maths behind it.
now, depending on ALOT of factors, you can change the maths to
approach. chance of success >50%.
don't approach. chance of success = 0%.
the factors include; your body. your status. your hygene. your intelligence. your wit. your looks. your $$. your clothes. your car. your attitude. your confidence.
i've got no better then average in any of those categorys except, hygene, wit, clothes, attitude, confidence.
hygene is very easy to become perfect in.
wit, well, i've always had it. but not EVERYONE finds me funny. but most do, so its all good.
clothes (depending on who i'm with ofcourse) but where i normally approach, my clothes are better then average.
attitude i love life because i am truly happy, that in turn makes me better to be around, meaning more people will want to be around me.
confidence i'm confident that i'm average or better everywhere that matters, therefor, i can have most girls, meaning i won't settle for some dirty mole (well, not on the 2nd night anyway
)body - i'm probably about average. i'm not thin, i'm not fat, i'm not muscley, but i'm not small.
status - locally, i'm known. but i'm along way away from a local celebrity, let alone a celebrity.
intelligence - i'm not dumb, i study computer engineering. but i'm not smart enough that someone will be attracted to me "because you're smart"
looks - well, i've certainly improved over the years, due to puberty mainly. but i've got certain features i'd change.
$$ - i'm at university, i have $0. there is the potential to have $$ long term, but by no means, gurantees.
car - i have a 1990 Ford Falcon. goes down a treat with the ladies. not.
Ever onward
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 11, 2004
- Messages
- 968
- Reaction score
- 3
Just do it. Get past that "moment". Make yourself do it. It does get easier.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Ever onward
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 11, 2004
- Messages
- 968
- Reaction score
- 3
After awhile you get better and it becomes fun.
scordate
Don Juan
once you are used to contacting anyone you can move on to specifically contacting the ones you like
but do it with no ulterior motive; still just to say hi and smile
try whistling a tune with a smile in your eyes, they will look at you, you smile back perhaps raising your eyebrows as a hello just as if you a the happiest guy walking down the street someone would thinks the world is so great today !
sure some will frown but most will smile back and think; what a guy !
/scordate
Slimijs
Senior Don Juan
Approching is easy, when you know how it's done.
Well I mostly do clubs, so here's my adivice for you.
Your approach anxiety comes from inexpericence. Mostly you do not approach, because you have not done things like this before, and are a liitle bit scared. The fear can go away only if you get your **** together, and by that I mean you know what to say. And there is a solution to this problem. You just have to learn OPENERS. Sometimes stack them together and then voila, your in like money, baby
I think you can find a lot of openers on this board. But if you have some troubles, I can give some to you.
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.