approach anxiety

[david90]

If you have to give me one tip to help my approach anxiety , what tip would it be?

 

[Brad324]

don't approach

 

[belividere]

ignore brad324

 

[Bradshaw]

Do the bootcamp. (located in the DJ Bible)

 

[h2o]

approach (as much as you can).

and, do it for yourself...remember you're doing it to get over the fear...the whole point is to face your fear...so regardless of what the girl says/does, etc, you will have succeeded in facing your fear.

oh yeah, and approach.

 

[quest]

Originally posted by david90
If you have to give me one tip to help my approach anxiety , what tip would it be?

approach. chance of success > 0%.
don't approach. chance of succes = 0%.

thats the maths behind it.

now, depending on ALOT of factors, you can change the maths to

approach. chance of success >50%.
don't approach. chance of success = 0%.

the factors include; your body. your status. your hygene. your intelligence. your wit. your looks. your $$. your clothes. your car. your attitude. your confidence.

i've got no better then average in any of those categorys except, hygene, wit, clothes, attitude, confidence.

hygene is very easy to become perfect in.
wit, well, i've always had it. but not EVERYONE finds me funny. but most do, so its all good.
clothes (depending on who i'm with ofcourse) but where i normally approach, my clothes are better then average.
attitude i love life because i am truly happy, that in turn makes me better to be around, meaning more people will want to be around me.
confidence i'm confident that i'm average or better everywhere that matters, therefor, i can have most girls, meaning i won't settle for some dirty mole (well, not on the 2nd night anyway )

body - i'm probably about average. i'm not thin, i'm not fat, i'm not muscley, but i'm not small.
status - locally, i'm known. but i'm along way away from a local celebrity, let alone a celebrity.
intelligence - i'm not dumb, i study computer engineering. but i'm not smart enough that someone will be attracted to me "because you're smart"
looks - well, i've certainly improved over the years, due to puberty mainly. but i've got certain features i'd change.
$$ - i'm at university, i have $0. there is the potential to have $$ long term, but by no means, gurantees.
car - i have a 1990 Ford Falcon. goes down a treat with the ladies. not.

 

[Ever onward]

In my experience with approaching. The single most difficult part is the moment before you take action. Talking to the girl isn't so bad. Even getting rejected isn't that bad. It's just getting over that "moment" before you approach.

Just do it. Get past that "moment". Make yourself do it. It does get easier.

 

[Brad324]

and do it sooner rather than later. As soon as you start wondering if you should approach, just do it. The longer it builds up, the harder it will be. Don't give your brain time to think up reasons not to.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Don't focus on the outcome, just focus on the approach itself.

 

[david90]

Originally posted by Ever onward
In my experience with approaching. The single most difficult part is the moment before you take action. Talking to the girl isn't so bad. Even getting rejected isn't that bad. It's just getting over that "moment" before you approach.

Just do it. Get past that "moment". Make yourself do it. It does get easier.

yeah I feel the same way too. It's that inital moment that kills me.

 

[Ever onward]

Another technique I have used is this: right before I approach, I imagine that I've already done it. I think how relieved I will feel once it's over with and I'm okay, nothing bad happened. It's already over with and I'm okay. Then whether I approach or not is irrelevant, I've already experienced the full range of emotions....so I might as well get it over with.

After awhile you get better and it becomes fun.

 

[Yagrash]

Get really, really drunk beforehand.

 

[david90]

Originally posted by Yagrash
Get really, really drunk beforehand.

i'm not gonna carry a bottle of vodka around to drink when I see a HB.:crackup: :woo:

 

[scordate]

approach any woman you see with nothing in mind other than getting a smile and a hello back

once you are used to contacting anyone you can move on to specifically contacting the ones you like
but do it with no ulterior motive; still just to say hi and smile

try whistling a tune with a smile in your eyes, they will look at you, you smile back perhaps raising your eyebrows as a hello just as if you a the happiest guy walking down the street someone would thinks the world is so great today !

sure some will frown but most will smile back and think; what a guy !

/scordate

 

[Slimijs]

Oh, man

Approching is easy, when you know how it's done.

Well I mostly do clubs, so here's my adivice for you.

Your approach anxiety comes from inexpericence. Mostly you do not approach, because you have not done things like this before, and are a liitle bit scared. The fear can go away only if you get your **** together, and by that I mean you know what to say. And there is a solution to this problem. You just have to learn OPENERS. Sometimes stack them together and then voila, your in like money, baby

I think you can find a lot of openers on this board. But if you have some troubles, I can give some to you.