"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
approach anxiety
- Thread starter david90
- Start date
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
belividere
Master Don Juan
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- 956
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h2o
Banned
and, do it for yourself...remember you're doing it to get over the fear...the whole point is to face your fear...so regardless of what the girl says/does, etc, you will have succeeded in facing your fear.
oh yeah, and approach.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
approach. chance of success > 0%.
don't approach. chance of succes = 0%.
thats the maths behind it.
now, depending on ALOT of factors, you can change the maths to
approach. chance of success >50%.
don't approach. chance of success = 0%.
the factors include; your body. your status. your hygene. your intelligence. your wit. your looks. your $$. your clothes. your car. your attitude. your confidence.
i've got no better then average in any of those categorys except, hygene, wit, clothes, attitude, confidence.
hygene is very easy to become perfect in.
wit, well, i've always had it. but not EVERYONE finds me funny. but most do, so its all good.
clothes (depending on who i'm with ofcourse) but where i normally approach, my clothes are better then average.
attitude i love life because i am truly happy, that in turn makes me better to be around, meaning more people will want to be around me.
confidence i'm confident that i'm average or better everywhere that matters, therefor, i can have most girls, meaning i won't settle for some dirty mole (well, not on the 2nd night anyway
)body - i'm probably about average. i'm not thin, i'm not fat, i'm not muscley, but i'm not small.
status - locally, i'm known. but i'm along way away from a local celebrity, let alone a celebrity.
intelligence - i'm not dumb, i study computer engineering. but i'm not smart enough that someone will be attracted to me "because you're smart"
looks - well, i've certainly improved over the years, due to puberty mainly. but i've got certain features i'd change.
$$ - i'm at university, i have $0. there is the potential to have $$ long term, but by no means, gurantees.
car - i have a 1990 Ford Falcon. goes down a treat with the ladies. not.
Ever onward
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 11, 2004
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- 968
- Reaction score
- 3
Just do it. Get past that "moment". Make yourself do it. It does get easier.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
Ever onward
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 11, 2004
- Messages
- 968
- Reaction score
- 3
After awhile you get better and it becomes fun.
scordate
Don Juan
once you are used to contacting anyone you can move on to specifically contacting the ones you like
but do it with no ulterior motive; still just to say hi and smile
try whistling a tune with a smile in your eyes, they will look at you, you smile back perhaps raising your eyebrows as a hello just as if you a the happiest guy walking down the street someone would thinks the world is so great today !
sure some will frown but most will smile back and think; what a guy !
/scordate
Slimijs
Senior Don Juan
Approching is easy, when you know how it's done.
Well I mostly do clubs, so here's my adivice for you.
Your approach anxiety comes from inexpericence. Mostly you do not approach, because you have not done things like this before, and are a liitle bit scared. The fear can go away only if you get your **** together, and by that I mean you know what to say. And there is a solution to this problem. You just have to learn OPENERS. Sometimes stack them together and then voila, your in like money, baby
I think you can find a lot of openers on this board. But if you have some troubles, I can give some to you.
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.