"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Approach anxiety

blackknight

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Hi all,

I know this is proabably a very common question. But i'm intrested to know what peoples general tactics are with regards to dealing with the initial approach anxiety.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Captain

Master Don Juan
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I used to have terrible approach anxiety. I couldn't even say hi to a stranger in the street. Now I have no trouble starting conversations. It took me 3 weeks to change.

Short answer: practice.

Long answer:

1. Say hi to everyone you walk past, nice and loud, with a smile.

Set yourself a goal to say hi to at least 20 people a day, every day, for a week. Say this to men, women, old, young, etc.

At first it will be hard, but it will get so easy by the end of the week that it will feel weird not to say hi. After a day or so, you should have the courage to say hi to two people walking together. Remember to do it loud and with a smile.

2. Progress to conversations with women. The opinion opener is the best if you have approach anxiety.

Ask if you can have their opinion on something. It doesn't matter what it is, so long as it sounds sincere. I've never had a woman decline to give me an "opinion." Go out and do this to at least 5 women every day for a week. If they seem interested, ask their name, and go from there.

Keep your body language non-needy. Lean back, not forwards. Don't directly face her while talking until she has earned your interest. If she seems interested, don't stay on the opinion opener for too long, you need to start properly gaming her.

The opinion opener is just that, an opener. It gets your foot in the door. You have to go from there.

I could say a lot more about approaching and how to beat approach anxiety, I've been thinking about doing a post in the "Don Juan Tips" sometime soon. Keep an eye out.
 

Randallpink83

Master Don Juan
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I've answered and posted about Approach Anxiety so much, that I seriously don't want to do it ever again.... So I'm going to just post a link to one of my previous posts on the subjects.

here is the first one I could find
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showpost.php?p=1476949&postcount=17


...And here is a thread I STARTED on the subject. Its a mammoth post though.
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=151532


This may help you. Its just a little process I've came up with that can push you past Approach Anxiety.
...oh and uhhh, I've approached alot of girls in Real Life, this is not KJ bullshizzz lol. :)
 
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