For some of the more experience guys...how did you get over this? I am SO hesitant when I am out it's getting ridiculous. I even get IOIs from girls for me to approach but I don't! I never have that first opener and can't think of what to say.
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Approach Anxiety ugh
- Thread starter Sofomore
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
The guys here say you should shake her hand and introduce yourself
as you would to any guy, that's a great start, but your probably
not sure where to go from there are you? Try noticing something
about what she's wearing and follow up with a question about it.
Practice different scenarios in your head to gain some confidence
with it.
as you would to any guy, that's a great start, but your probably
not sure where to go from there are you? Try noticing something
about what she's wearing and follow up with a question about it.
Practice different scenarios in your head to gain some confidence
with it.
thevilittletroll
Senior Don Juan
2 things, first you need to pump your state. another words get yourself into the mood. put on your fav high energy music while your getting ready to go out. start singing out loud dancing get yourself pumped up. continue in your car on your way to the bar.
second, once you get there start talking to everyone you see. you must get yourself into a talking mood. talk to the door man, bartender, who ever is sitting next to you at the bar. order a drink or two alcohol should calm you down a little, but you'll still be in state and in a talking mood.
the openers dont really matter that much. the women you open will feed off your energy and see that your having fun. you will also come off as a more social person.
sometimes i feel like when i go out the evening turns into one huge conversation. once i start and open one set they all open. i wind up talking to almost everyone in the bar. open up the flood gates.
second, once you get there start talking to everyone you see. you must get yourself into a talking mood. talk to the door man, bartender, who ever is sitting next to you at the bar. order a drink or two alcohol should calm you down a little, but you'll still be in state and in a talking mood.
the openers dont really matter that much. the women you open will feed off your energy and see that your having fun. you will also come off as a more social person.
sometimes i feel like when i go out the evening turns into one huge conversation. once i start and open one set they all open. i wind up talking to almost everyone in the bar. open up the flood gates.
sylvester the cat
Master Don Juan
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I find having an attitude of not caring is helpful. Being prepared to walk away from someone and not caring about the outcome can be quite a powerful thing.
It's when you are invested in a certain outcome that makes things most difficult.
If you can understand that ultimately you don't need anyone and that you are complete in and of yourself you should be in a better position to approach because you won't care about the outcome which will make you more appealing to talk to.
It's when you are invested in a certain outcome that makes things most difficult.
If you can understand that ultimately you don't need anyone and that you are complete in and of yourself you should be in a better position to approach because you won't care about the outcome which will make you more appealing to talk to.
VladPatton
Master Don Juan
Use the situation around you like a prop. You need a topic, a thing, an action to start off of. Anything that you can use will be to your advantage to open. My friend opened 2 girls in a bar last week when they took a photo. He quickly jumped in and said, "ok, now one of the two of you, I'll take tour picture". They giggled like little schoolgirls and totally started talking to us for over 2 hrs. They ate that shyt up big time. And he was comin from the bathroom, he didn't plan it, he just attacked when the opportunity was there. If they of said "no thank you", that's that, walk away, nothing lost.
Try this approach. You'll have an 'in' and a topic.
Try this approach. You'll have an 'in' and a topic.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.