For some of the more experience guys...how did you get over this? I am SO hesitant when I am out it's getting ridiculous. I even get IOIs from girls for me to approach but I don't! I never have that first opener and can't think of what to say.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Approach Anxiety ugh
- Thread starter Sofomore
- Start date
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
The guys here say you should shake her hand and introduce yourself
as you would to any guy, that's a great start, but your probably
not sure where to go from there are you? Try noticing something
about what she's wearing and follow up with a question about it.
Practice different scenarios in your head to gain some confidence
with it.
as you would to any guy, that's a great start, but your probably
not sure where to go from there are you? Try noticing something
about what she's wearing and follow up with a question about it.
Practice different scenarios in your head to gain some confidence
with it.
thevilittletroll
Senior Don Juan
2 things, first you need to pump your state. another words get yourself into the mood. put on your fav high energy music while your getting ready to go out. start singing out loud dancing get yourself pumped up. continue in your car on your way to the bar.
second, once you get there start talking to everyone you see. you must get yourself into a talking mood. talk to the door man, bartender, who ever is sitting next to you at the bar. order a drink or two alcohol should calm you down a little, but you'll still be in state and in a talking mood.
the openers dont really matter that much. the women you open will feed off your energy and see that your having fun. you will also come off as a more social person.
sometimes i feel like when i go out the evening turns into one huge conversation. once i start and open one set they all open. i wind up talking to almost everyone in the bar. open up the flood gates.
second, once you get there start talking to everyone you see. you must get yourself into a talking mood. talk to the door man, bartender, who ever is sitting next to you at the bar. order a drink or two alcohol should calm you down a little, but you'll still be in state and in a talking mood.
the openers dont really matter that much. the women you open will feed off your energy and see that your having fun. you will also come off as a more social person.
sometimes i feel like when i go out the evening turns into one huge conversation. once i start and open one set they all open. i wind up talking to almost everyone in the bar. open up the flood gates.
sylvester the cat
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 30, 2012
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I find having an attitude of not caring is helpful. Being prepared to walk away from someone and not caring about the outcome can be quite a powerful thing.
It's when you are invested in a certain outcome that makes things most difficult.
If you can understand that ultimately you don't need anyone and that you are complete in and of yourself you should be in a better position to approach because you won't care about the outcome which will make you more appealing to talk to.
It's when you are invested in a certain outcome that makes things most difficult.
If you can understand that ultimately you don't need anyone and that you are complete in and of yourself you should be in a better position to approach because you won't care about the outcome which will make you more appealing to talk to.
VladPatton
Master Don Juan
Use the situation around you like a prop. You need a topic, a thing, an action to start off of. Anything that you can use will be to your advantage to open. My friend opened 2 girls in a bar last week when they took a photo. He quickly jumped in and said, "ok, now one of the two of you, I'll take tour picture". They giggled like little schoolgirls and totally started talking to us for over 2 hrs. They ate that shyt up big time. And he was comin from the bathroom, he didn't plan it, he just attacked when the opportunity was there. If they of said "no thank you", that's that, walk away, nothing lost.
Try this approach. You'll have an 'in' and a topic.
Try this approach. You'll have an 'in' and a topic.
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.