For some of the more experience guys...how did you get over this? I am SO hesitant when I am out it's getting ridiculous. I even get IOIs from girls for me to approach but I don't! I never have that first opener and can't think of what to say.
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Approach Anxiety ugh
- Thread starter Sofomore
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
The guys here say you should shake her hand and introduce yourself
as you would to any guy, that's a great start, but your probably
not sure where to go from there are you? Try noticing something
about what she's wearing and follow up with a question about it.
Practice different scenarios in your head to gain some confidence
with it.
as you would to any guy, that's a great start, but your probably
not sure where to go from there are you? Try noticing something
about what she's wearing and follow up with a question about it.
Practice different scenarios in your head to gain some confidence
with it.
thevilittletroll
Senior Don Juan
2 things, first you need to pump your state. another words get yourself into the mood. put on your fav high energy music while your getting ready to go out. start singing out loud dancing get yourself pumped up. continue in your car on your way to the bar.
second, once you get there start talking to everyone you see. you must get yourself into a talking mood. talk to the door man, bartender, who ever is sitting next to you at the bar. order a drink or two alcohol should calm you down a little, but you'll still be in state and in a talking mood.
the openers dont really matter that much. the women you open will feed off your energy and see that your having fun. you will also come off as a more social person.
sometimes i feel like when i go out the evening turns into one huge conversation. once i start and open one set they all open. i wind up talking to almost everyone in the bar. open up the flood gates.
second, once you get there start talking to everyone you see. you must get yourself into a talking mood. talk to the door man, bartender, who ever is sitting next to you at the bar. order a drink or two alcohol should calm you down a little, but you'll still be in state and in a talking mood.
the openers dont really matter that much. the women you open will feed off your energy and see that your having fun. you will also come off as a more social person.
sometimes i feel like when i go out the evening turns into one huge conversation. once i start and open one set they all open. i wind up talking to almost everyone in the bar. open up the flood gates.
sylvester the cat
Master Don Juan
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- Sep 30, 2012
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I find having an attitude of not caring is helpful. Being prepared to walk away from someone and not caring about the outcome can be quite a powerful thing.
It's when you are invested in a certain outcome that makes things most difficult.
If you can understand that ultimately you don't need anyone and that you are complete in and of yourself you should be in a better position to approach because you won't care about the outcome which will make you more appealing to talk to.
It's when you are invested in a certain outcome that makes things most difficult.
If you can understand that ultimately you don't need anyone and that you are complete in and of yourself you should be in a better position to approach because you won't care about the outcome which will make you more appealing to talk to.
VladPatton
Master Don Juan
Use the situation around you like a prop. You need a topic, a thing, an action to start off of. Anything that you can use will be to your advantage to open. My friend opened 2 girls in a bar last week when they took a photo. He quickly jumped in and said, "ok, now one of the two of you, I'll take tour picture". They giggled like little schoolgirls and totally started talking to us for over 2 hrs. They ate that shyt up big time. And he was comin from the bathroom, he didn't plan it, he just attacked when the opportunity was there. If they of said "no thank you", that's that, walk away, nothing lost.
Try this approach. You'll have an 'in' and a topic.
Try this approach. You'll have an 'in' and a topic.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.