For some of the more experience guys...how did you get over this? I am SO hesitant when I am out it's getting ridiculous. I even get IOIs from girls for me to approach but I don't! I never have that first opener and can't think of what to say.
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Approach Anxiety ugh
- Thread starter Sofomore
- Start date
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
The guys here say you should shake her hand and introduce yourself
as you would to any guy, that's a great start, but your probably
not sure where to go from there are you? Try noticing something
about what she's wearing and follow up with a question about it.
Practice different scenarios in your head to gain some confidence
with it.
as you would to any guy, that's a great start, but your probably
not sure where to go from there are you? Try noticing something
about what she's wearing and follow up with a question about it.
Practice different scenarios in your head to gain some confidence
with it.
thevilittletroll
Senior Don Juan
2 things, first you need to pump your state. another words get yourself into the mood. put on your fav high energy music while your getting ready to go out. start singing out loud dancing get yourself pumped up. continue in your car on your way to the bar.
second, once you get there start talking to everyone you see. you must get yourself into a talking mood. talk to the door man, bartender, who ever is sitting next to you at the bar. order a drink or two alcohol should calm you down a little, but you'll still be in state and in a talking mood.
the openers dont really matter that much. the women you open will feed off your energy and see that your having fun. you will also come off as a more social person.
sometimes i feel like when i go out the evening turns into one huge conversation. once i start and open one set they all open. i wind up talking to almost everyone in the bar. open up the flood gates.
second, once you get there start talking to everyone you see. you must get yourself into a talking mood. talk to the door man, bartender, who ever is sitting next to you at the bar. order a drink or two alcohol should calm you down a little, but you'll still be in state and in a talking mood.
the openers dont really matter that much. the women you open will feed off your energy and see that your having fun. you will also come off as a more social person.
sometimes i feel like when i go out the evening turns into one huge conversation. once i start and open one set they all open. i wind up talking to almost everyone in the bar. open up the flood gates.
sylvester the cat
Master Don Juan
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I find having an attitude of not caring is helpful. Being prepared to walk away from someone and not caring about the outcome can be quite a powerful thing.
It's when you are invested in a certain outcome that makes things most difficult.
If you can understand that ultimately you don't need anyone and that you are complete in and of yourself you should be in a better position to approach because you won't care about the outcome which will make you more appealing to talk to.
It's when you are invested in a certain outcome that makes things most difficult.
If you can understand that ultimately you don't need anyone and that you are complete in and of yourself you should be in a better position to approach because you won't care about the outcome which will make you more appealing to talk to.
VladPatton
Master Don Juan
Use the situation around you like a prop. You need a topic, a thing, an action to start off of. Anything that you can use will be to your advantage to open. My friend opened 2 girls in a bar last week when they took a photo. He quickly jumped in and said, "ok, now one of the two of you, I'll take tour picture". They giggled like little schoolgirls and totally started talking to us for over 2 hrs. They ate that shyt up big time. And he was comin from the bathroom, he didn't plan it, he just attacked when the opportunity was there. If they of said "no thank you", that's that, walk away, nothing lost.
Try this approach. You'll have an 'in' and a topic.
Try this approach. You'll have an 'in' and a topic.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.