You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
99% of the first messages women send on Bumble all say "Hey, how are you?" That's a lot of work to come up with isn't it? lolI would say stick to Tinder or Happn... I've read a couple profiles on Tinder where women say "Bumble was too much work" at the end of the day we need to remember women like to be guided not leading. Eventually once the novelty of being "an independent women" wears off, they will come to despise putting in all the work.
I've used it a couple times. good point you bring up. I was more just saying in general women want to be guided. They never want to be to leader in the interaction. By her sending the first message she assumes that responsibility of leading. Now, that may work at the begining, but unless you change the frame and lead the interaction that "hi, how are you." goes from *possible sexual partner* to *plutonic LJBF*99% of the first messages women send on Bumble all say "Hey, how are you?" That's a lot of work to come up with isn't it? lol
Do you use Bumble?
Yeah, womens' concept of "putting in work" is not the same as mens'. Work for men is planning encounters, escalating properly, making jokes, keeping a conversation going, having the right pictures, and so on. For women, it's contacting the man first by saying "hi" to signal her approval of him starting to put work into her.I would say stick to Tinder or Happn... I've read a couple profiles on Tinder where women say "Bumble was too much work" at the end of the day we need to remember women like to be guided not leading. Eventually once the novelty of being "an independent women" wears off, they will come to despise putting in all the work.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Tinder seemed to have more fake profiles and prostitutes.I've had more success with Bumble than Tinder or any other dating app.
OKC is free, but you have to pay if you want to see who likes you or something stupid like that.I actually just downloaded it too... POF worked best for me, a bit tinder, a bit badoo... OKC never worked and match you have to pay right? **** it
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
I've been tearing it up on bumble. Tinder sucksGuys I'm loving this app. I'm getting more matches, more often and with hotter women than Tinder. And none of them are prostitutes or fake accounts.
This looks promising.
This app is awesome for plate spinning. I'm loving it.I've been tearing it up on bumble. Tinder sucks
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Bro just curious, don't you have a lot of money and are doing very very well in your finances?This app is awesome for plate spinning. I'm loving it.
I keep getting new matches every week, while I text and date my old matches.
I won't say this replaces the cold approach, but its a great substitute when you don't have time to cold approach.
Lol what a stupid question.Bro just curious, don't you have a lot of money and are doing very very well in your finances?
If so, why are downloading dating apps to match with women? Unless you put in your profile 'I'm rich."![]()
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.