Kev07
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 2, 2006
- Messages
- 1,706
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So has anyone ever tried asking a fairly good looking girl to prom when you don't really know them well (IE: say hi every now and then and really small talk)
She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.
You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.
The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
EdHunter said:I did this twice, and it's not as bad as you might think...I think the secret is partly not acting as though the whole "don't know well" thing is an issue. If you frame the approach in such a way that it seems natural that you'd ask her, then the whole thing will go much more smoothly---after all, you don't want her to ever be thinking "I don't know this guy, so why should I go w/ him."
As for the dates thing, I think it could go either way. It certainly could increase the comfort level, but you don't want her to get creeped out and feel you're coming on too strong too soon. At least, that's my thinking (and how I'm handling my own situation; cf. my thread on my own issue).