Part 10
Short summary: I am getting better at solo night game, it just takes practice with a bar you like.
I think I have narrowed down "This feeling" which is the topic of this threat. It has little to do with dating women or night game is general.
It has to do with unfamiliar in social situations, especially large groups. If you have never experienced then do this go to another country or part of your city that does not primarily speak your language or there is a clear cultural difference. Now found a crowed venue with people standing around chatting in groups. Now mix and mingle in the crowed.
Unless you are a serous people person you will find that your thoughts turn inward and you become extremely self-conscious about everything you do. This is what was (past tense) happening to me in night game in bars because for most of my life I have avoided them. And now that I needed to jump in the social unknows were very high.
I found a way to over come most these problems by
- 1. Going to bars during happy hour, not at peak hours because more people can make you more self-conscious.
- 2. Going to After work networking events on meetup / eventbright and such. This is a good training for me because they (always meet at a new bar, the topics are always what you do or what they do, rambling tends to happen a lot so you will talk about a lot of things you know nothing about, attractive sales reps are frequent)
Now I have three bars downtown that I can basically call home base.
There is a speakeasy downtown, the most well done speak easy you have seen. Lots of 20s prohibition items, bartenders wear suspenders, jazz bands, burlesque show, Absinthe, fancy waitress bring you drinks at standing tables or the couch, etc. Anyway, I went there for happy hour yesterday and got a nonalcoholic and made small talk by the bar. I thought the evening was going to be a flop because no approachable girls came in. but I chatted with a group that ordered a drink I never heard of. I think it was called the phoenix. It was a mixture of tequila, citrus and jalapenos. We chatted for a bit and we they were about to move to the couch they ask if I wanted to join. I did and we had a nice chat about anything and everything.
At one point one of the cute waitress ladies I had my eye on came to get me a drink and I asked her name. She then asked my name which I knew she did not have do and she gave me a certain smile and non-verbal to make me think to escalate. So, before I left, I made sure to stop by her little area to ask her about her ethnicity (Everyone seems to love it) and then poke fun at her. “Oh, you are from … well no one is perfect” I said with a smile and she laugh out loud. She was already in the middle of working. I felt as though if I tried to push the interaction further right then it might seem kind of desperate. so, I left. I’ll be back with a different set of friends later and will work on the cute waitress.By the end I learned the names of the bouncer, bartenders, flirted with one of the waitresses and made some random patron friends. Top marks for socialization.
My male brain still can’t understand why putdowns are funny to women. If I said that to a guy it would start a fight.
Today I went to a business mixer at a new bar I never heard of. It was a biker bar because during the day they sold motorcycles. I was intimidated at always at first about the social unknown but after taking to 2-3 people I always already at home. One lady I fell into a deep conversation with our businesses are faintly related and I escalated on her because I wanted to see her reaction “Oh, you are from … well no one is perfect”. She laughed pretty hard and give me a shocked kind of look. “What? I love my … heritage” I gave her a smirk and moved the conversation on. She actually asked me out in a very sly way. She gave me her business card and told me to contact her later about doing business over lunch. I agreed to contact her and said it sounded like a good idea. In reality I am on the fence about it. On one hand it looked like she was pushing 40+ cougar style on the other hand it could be good practice. I don’t have any plates spinning right now so…
Maybe I can do as Benjamin franklin suggested and put a basket over her head. (yes, he said that)
The second women I talked to gave me eye contact and nonverbal. We got into a conversation but the convo was cut short because of an announcement. During the announcement another woman was looking around near me and our eye locked. She smiled and walked over to me.
“Hey you look friendly”, she said. “You smiled at me like you already know me.” I apparently, I am putting out the right signals. The conversation being a bit longer this time but I also noticed a ring so I only escalated to the first level as I normally do. “Oh, you are from … well no one is perfect” She laughed in a knee bending kind of way. We talked some more and moved one. I also randomly won a $20 gift card to the bar. I guess I will be back soon for happy hour again. Top marks again for me.