Anyone else get this feeling?

XThrax

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Part 5, this starting to turn into a blog.
So I think i found a few bars that fix my more relaxed style which is the speak easy ****tail lounge. These seem to have people milling around at conversations able levels. And I dont have much problem interjecting myself into groups. But unfortunately it's a little harder to find younger crowds that are approach able. I still go to the higher energy bar/dance venues just to keep normalizing myself to the atmosphere but I normally dont feel like approaching because conversations are hard to start. My dry humor falls on death ears. I also feel a general apathy to dancing wild. I could force myself to go through the motions but what's the point.

I will continue to run night and day game and find new venues.
 

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XThrax

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Part 6
I tried a night club tonight just to see what it was like. I had not been to a night club before and felt a little anxious inside. About 20 mins I realized that the purpose of night clubs is actually stotting for men. Its as if one could purchase these artificially create exclusive zones to simulate a kind of higher exclusive social status. But the thing is its really all a simulation because anyone with money can purchase it as if it were a pair of jeans from Walmart. I really have no desire to go to a club again.
Something else I noticed was my confidence in approaching deflated when the DJ turned up the music and people started to get into it. The crowd knew the words, I did not. The way my brain started to interpreting the situation was "You are excluded". And so my confidence dropped. I know this is all inner game but I think its interesting to think about so passive of as watching other people have fun can be psychologically distancing.
I am going to run some day game tomorrow at my local university and see how that works out.
 

glass half full

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Sometimes it's best to get a spot at the counter if you're alone, esp. close to where people need to go order drinks. Be good friends with the bartender, waitstaff, etc.

Also, getting two or three other guys to go along with, making sure that they are roughly equal to your level of attraction. It also helps to go along with a few attractive women, it looks better when you're gaming girls. If you're with one, you're worthy, in their eyes.
 

XThrax

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Part 7
This whole not finding a girl is starting to fuq with my mind. The girl is not important, the lack of accomplishment that is fuqing with me.
Can you imagen if you needed to learn how to tie your shoe and you have been trying to do it for months. You see others do it and you start to wonder if there is something wrong with you or your shoe. I have been running this red pill game for 4-5 months and still no results. Day game I can get numbers but they all lead to flakes, online only the ugly ones show up, night game I still dont get but I have been going to a bar every fuqing night and switch up venues. I have consumed more alcohol in the last 4 months then my entire life. I have friends but they dont do bars so I have do this alone.
I dont need a girl to make me happy but I firmly believe the skill of meeting, attracting, spinning plates is a skill I need to have. And the lack of this skill is a plague on my mind.

Ultimately, I am starting to get to a point where my moral compass is starting to spin and I dont like it.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Part 7
This whole not finding a girl is starting to fuq with my mind. The girl is not important, the lack of accomplishment that is fuqing with me.
Can you imagen if you needed to learn how to tie your shoe and you have been trying to do it for months. You see others do it and you start to wonder if there is something wrong with you or your shoe. I have been running this red pill game for 4-5 months and still no results. Day game I can get numbers but they all lead to flakes, online only the ugly ones show up, night game I still dont get but I have been going to a bar every fuqing night and switch up venues. I have consumed more alcohol in the last 4 months then my entire life. I have friends but they dont do bars so I have do this alone.
I dont need a girl to make me happy but I firmly believe the skill of meeting, attracting, spinning plates is a skill I need to have. And the lack of this skill is a plague on my mind.

Ultimately, I am starting to get to a point where my moral compass is starting to spin and I dont like it.
Do you "need" a woman? That maybe the problem. Forcing things.
 
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XThrax

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Do you "need" a woman? That maybe the problem. Forcing things.
I guess one can argue that a man does not need a woman. But he does need a sense of social belonging which until recently redpilled was at an adequate level. And If I do nothing then nothing will happen. My social circle (singular) is not big enough to constantly be meting new people.

Part 8
I was recently travelling in Paris (I saw notre dame burn with my own eyes) and there was a meet up for internationals every night. I loved it. Every night a few English speakers would talk about anything and everything, I could easily mingle/drink with any one or girl I wanted to, even if she was not part of the meetup. Most importantly the talent pool was always good. HB 8-6 would arrive every night. I still struggle with escalation but It was a work in progress. I got better every night.
Fast forward back to were I live in FL and I came from a meet up mostly consisting of HB 5-3. And the majority were much older than me(retirees). I was not motivated to approach anyone.
At this point I am on the verge of 1. starting my own meet up group for internationals and exchange students 2. consider going to a bar alone although that has not worked out well for me in the past. Hopefully I can find a drinking partner or two before it comes to this.
I already day approach at the university. At least there the talent pool is more than reasonable and I can seek out who I like.
I also take a spinning class which has the most amount of talent I have seen but everyone there has low sociability. I still talk to some of women who come though the door but they dont even talk amongst themselves. Its like they are there just for a job and thats it. It kind of expensive too. I might try a large yoga group later on.

I definitely get the social belonging outside the US borders but not where I am at. It makes me want to consider moving.
 

XThrax

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Part 9
The best times I have had doing night game was when I was with friends downtown. Just a few days ago I was at an upscale speakeasy downtown with an old coworker. We I was able to approach girls with near zero hesitation even if they were in a group and all of them where receptive. I know a lot of guys on the forum say you should be able to approach at night without a wingman. But difficulty is decreased by an order of magnitude. I would go as to say the more I approached the more social I became.

I can lift my refrigerator up and move it around with my own two hands, but it’s so much easier with a hand truck. I feel as though approaching beautiful girls at night is the same way when you are already around your friends.

I mostly started off with “Excuse me, my friend and I have a bet that you are from [Country I know she is not from]”. Even after I guessed wrong a few times they still wanted me to keep guessing.

Even if you do get rejected you can laugh it off immediately and talk about how bad it was. Eventually I am sure I will get to a point when I can do this alone and still remain in a social mood but for now, I think I will mostly do night game when I am out with a reasonable friend whom I know will not cokblock me.
 

XThrax

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Part 10
Short summary: I am getting better at solo night game, it just takes practice with a bar you like.

I think I have narrowed down "This feeling" which is the topic of this threat. It has little to do with dating women or night game is general.
It has to do with unfamiliar in social situations, especially large groups. If you have never experienced then do this go to another country or part of your city that does not primarily speak your language or there is a clear cultural difference. Now found a crowed venue with people standing around chatting in groups. Now mix and mingle in the crowed.
Unless you are a serous people person you will find that your thoughts turn inward and you become extremely self-conscious about everything you do. This is what was (past tense) happening to me in night game in bars because for most of my life I have avoided them. And now that I needed to jump in the social unknows were very high.
I found a way to over come most these problems by
  • 1. Going to bars during happy hour, not at peak hours because more people can make you more self-conscious.
  • 2. Going to After work networking events on meetup / eventbright and such. This is a good training for me because they (always meet at a new bar, the topics are always what you do or what they do, rambling tends to happen a lot so you will talk about a lot of things you know nothing about, attractive sales reps are frequent)
Now I have three bars downtown that I can basically call home base.

There is a speakeasy downtown, the most well done speak easy you have seen. Lots of 20s prohibition items, bartenders wear suspenders, jazz bands, burlesque show, Absinthe, fancy waitress bring you drinks at standing tables or the couch, etc. Anyway, I went there for happy hour yesterday and got a nonalcoholic and made small talk by the bar. I thought the evening was going to be a flop because no approachable girls came in. but I chatted with a group that ordered a drink I never heard of. I think it was called the phoenix. It was a mixture of tequila, citrus and jalapenos. We chatted for a bit and we they were about to move to the couch they ask if I wanted to join. I did and we had a nice chat about anything and everything.
At one point one of the cute waitress ladies I had my eye on came to get me a drink and I asked her name. She then asked my name which I knew she did not have do and she gave me a certain smile and non-verbal to make me think to escalate. So, before I left, I made sure to stop by her little area to ask her about her ethnicity (Everyone seems to love it) and then poke fun at her. “Oh, you are from … well no one is perfect” I said with a smile and she laugh out loud. She was already in the middle of working. I felt as though if I tried to push the interaction further right then it might seem kind of desperate. so, I left. I’ll be back with a different set of friends later and will work on the cute waitress.By the end I learned the names of the bouncer, bartenders, flirted with one of the waitresses and made some random patron friends. Top marks for socialization.

My male brain still can’t understand why putdowns are funny to women. If I said that to a guy it would start a fight.

Today I went to a business mixer at a new bar I never heard of. It was a biker bar because during the day they sold motorcycles. I was intimidated at always at first about the social unknown but after taking to 2-3 people I always already at home. One lady I fell into a deep conversation with our businesses are faintly related and I escalated on her because I wanted to see her reaction “Oh, you are from … well no one is perfect”. She laughed pretty hard and give me a shocked kind of look. “What? I love my … heritage” I gave her a smirk and moved the conversation on. She actually asked me out in a very sly way. She gave me her business card and told me to contact her later about doing business over lunch. I agreed to contact her and said it sounded like a good idea. In reality I am on the fence about it. On one hand it looked like she was pushing 40+ cougar style on the other hand it could be good practice. I don’t have any plates spinning right now so…

Maybe I can do as Benjamin franklin suggested and put a basket over her head. (yes, he said that)
The second women I talked to gave me eye contact and nonverbal. We got into a conversation but the convo was cut short because of an announcement. During the announcement another woman was looking around near me and our eye locked. She smiled and walked over to me.
“Hey you look friendly”, she said. “You smiled at me like you already know me.” I apparently, I am putting out the right signals. The conversation being a bit longer this time but I also noticed a ring so I only escalated to the first level as I normally do. “Oh, you are from … well no one is perfect” She laughed in a knee bending kind of way. We talked some more and moved one. I also randomly won a $20 gift card to the bar. I guess I will be back soon for happy hour again. Top marks again for me.
 

XThrax

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Part 11
Recently I meet up with some member here in my city and we did some gaming downtown. Almost had my first pull. It also way easier to approach when you have other guys doing it with you. Plus we can talk game in real life. I think this is a really positive thing. Its good to be with others who are already doing what you want to do.
I am also coming to the realization that I do not like my city any more. I need something new, and not just new types of girls. Even with my current job which is a nice middle income job, things feel just too stale like nothing is going to change. I want to work abroad.
 
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