"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Any night owls here?

Stoic

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I've been reading up on delayed sleep phase disorder and chronotypes and this is more prevelant than I realized. And from an evolutionary perspective, this makes perfect sense. Tribes that had variations in sleep-wake preferences had a huge advantage - having a rotation of people who were awake would make the tribe less vulnerable to predation and more productive (foraging, hunting, cleaning, maintaining shelters, etc).

I've been aware that I had this most of my life but people minimize it and say you're just "lazy", or simply assert that waking up early is superior: "waking up early is beneficial for me, therefore it must be beneficial for everyone". The claims around waking up early make no sense - #1 you still have the same number of hours in a day regardless of when you wake up or go to sleep and #2) in a modern day global economy, the "early bird gets the worm" notion is irrelevant in pretty much every industry.

I've always tried to get myself to comform to early wake times and it's a never ending struggle that my body never adapts to, or worse, maladapts. As of late I've let myself sleep on my own preferred schedule and my sleep has been fantastic. I consistently fall asleep quickly and wake up quickly at the same time every day (2am - 10:30am), don't feel groggy in the morning, more clarity, more energy. If anyone else resonates with this, it would be worth quitting your job and finding something that is more in line with your natural circadian rhythms. Don't listen to the morning larks who tell you otherwise, listen to your body and do what feels best.

Also, from what I know, men are much likely to be night owls than women, because men have considerably more variability than women in general, who are basically all NPCs. This has always made sleepovers hard, but I'm officially done with them now.
I wouldn’t overthink this. You very well could just be lazy. :)
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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BillyPilgrim

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I wouldn’t overthink this. You very well could just be lazy. :)
What an insightful answer. Thinking is a definite sign of laziness. :)

 
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BillyPilgrim

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You morning people keep things running for us thinkers and we appreciate it. Society can't advance without all the NPC's doing all of the rote work that enables others to do the heavy lifting. Don't sell yourselves short, you have vital roles.
 

zekko

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I've always tried to get myself to comform to early wake times and it's a never ending struggle that my body never adapts to, or worse, maladapts.
I've worked night or evening shifts basically my whole life, and even when I was a kid I tended to be a night owl. I've been retired going on eight years now and my sleep is still something I constantly struggle with. I sleep great, it's just that my body wants to sleep at the wrong times. I love getting up at dawn, and I try to keep this schedule, but my body has other ideas. I just keep struggling with it, but it hasn't stopped being a problem yet. I'm hoping if I keep at it, eventually my body will get the idea and reset. But so far, yeah it's never adapted. Or rather, it will adapt for a little while, then slide back.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Deranged

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You morning people keep things running for us thinkers and we appreciate it. Society can't advance without all the NPC's doing all of the rote work that enables others to do the heavy lifting. Don't sell yourselves short, you have vital roles.
Absolutely savage! There may be a kernel of truth here. I love it.
 

Fortune_favors_the_bold

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I've been reading up on delayed sleep phase disorder and chronotypes and this is more prevelant than I realized. And from an evolutionary perspective, this makes perfect sense. Tribes that had variations in sleep-wake preferences had a huge advantage - having a rotation of people who were awake would make the tribe less vulnerable to predation and more productive (foraging, hunting, cleaning, maintaining shelters, etc).

I've been aware that I had this most of my life but people minimize it and say you're just "lazy", or simply assert that waking up early is superior: "waking up early is beneficial for me, therefore it must be beneficial for everyone". The claims around waking up early make no sense - #1 you still have the same number of hours in a day regardless of when you wake up or go to sleep and #2) in a modern day global economy, the "early bird gets the worm" notion is irrelevant in pretty much every industry.

I've always tried to get myself to comform to early wake times and it's a never ending struggle that my body never adapts to, or worse, maladapts. As of late I've let myself sleep on my own preferred schedule and my sleep has been fantastic. I consistently fall asleep quickly and wake up quickly at the same time every day (2am - 10:30am), don't feel groggy in the morning, more clarity, more energy. If anyone else resonates with this, it would be worth quitting your job and finding something that is more in line with your natural circadian rhythms. Don't listen to the morning larks who tell you otherwise, listen to your body and do what feels best.

Also, from what I know, men are much likely to be night owls than women, because men have considerably more variability than women in general, who are basically all NPCs. This has always made sleepovers hard, but I'm officially done with them now.
Same here except that the best productivity and energy in my life came when my schedule was 3am-11am.

I struggled with mental clarity, energy and overall performance my entire school life then during university time when I had full control of my schedule my productivity sky rocketed, got bigger and stronger.

8 hours of sleep from 2 to 10 make me brand new while 8 hours from 11 to 7 leave me tired the whole day...it seems like the most restoring sleep comes in the morning where in fact is very unlikely that outside noise would disrupt my sleep.
 
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