Any experience with dating a Widow?

[Mertz09]

I have a neighbor who moved into my neighborhood about 6 months ago and we have grown close the last few months. About a month ago she was over at my house and she told me that she had lost her husband about 10+ years ago. We are getting along great at this point, but I have no experience with this, Any useful advise would be appreciated.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

I've done so. Not to different from
A non-widow. In my case, she had already moved on. Might be different if the woman still misses her husband.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Wouldn't call my adventures in this department "dating"(I was more or less homeless, needed some quick cash + Free room and board. Lots of divorced and widowed women are willing to provide both, in exchange for servicing), anymore than I'd call MMMBop "profound"

All because those lads mutter a few words about human relationships often being fleeting + Imagine their own hair falling out at some unspecified point in the future

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I mean I'm not sure why you would think you need to approach it any different than any other woman at this point.

You are not in any sort of relationship at this point other than one you may be dreaming up in your mind.

 

[obelisk]

10 yrs is a solid chunk of time. Losing a partner is never easy and follows the cycle of grief. After 10 yrs though and where it sounds like there is rapport and attraction between you both, pursue her as a normal woman with all the usual caveats regarding women in general.

 

[Clockwerk50]

I mean I'm not sure why you would think you need to approach it any different than any other woman at this point.

You are not in any sort of relationship at this point other than one you may be dreaming up in your mind.

Listen to this. Not every post needs a wall of text explaining what you should do and how you should do it. She is a woman at the end of the day, and you are not even dating her yet. If being a widow actually creates some issue down the road, deal with it then.

If you don’t know how to date or talk to women, there is already tons of information out there on how to do that.

 

[Ricky]

A couple of my friends have died and their widows are very attractive. Ive never been in the situation where dating them was an option but it would be real tough for me since i was friends with their husbands

i think it would be tough for me period

 

[Mertz09]

A couple of my friends have died and their widows are very attractive. Ive never been in the situation where dating them was an option but it would be real tough for me since i was friends with their husbands

i think it would be tough for me period

I didn’t know her late husband and she has never had kids. She is 54 but doesn’t look it…. More like young 40ish. And she is very attractive. We have a good vibe and are talking a lot and things are progressing. She has a great dog (yellow Lab) that she calls her “child”. I am guessing that is because she probably couldn’t have children herself. (That’s OK with me).

 

[Ricky]

Go for it! I think she could probably be a lot nicer than the women ive been meeting

 

[Mike32ct]

Dated one for a while. Her husband passed away maybe four years before. No downsides at all.

 

[Mertz09]

I mean I'm not sure why you would think you need to approach it any different than any other woman at this point.

You are not in any sort of relationship at this point other than one you may be dreaming up in your mind.

I understand what you’re saying. She was in a relationship about 2 years ago that left her with nothing good to say about the guy. And she is still very close to her Late Husband’s family. So its not as simple as it sounds.
It may not be as simple as you think.
Want input from someone who has experience. That’s all.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I understand what you’re saying. She was in a relationship about 2 years ago that left her with nothing good to say about the guy. And she is still very close to her Late Husband’s family. So its not as simple as it sounds.
It may not be as simple as you think.
Want input from someone who has experience. That’s all.

It is as simple as it sounds. Stop creating fake relationships in your mind that you try and navigate and stop creating fake bridges that you don't have in front of you that you are expending mental energy trying to figure out how to cross.

Once again a guy who claims this woman is somehow "so different" than the rest, and will get blindsided when she ends up with a guy who treats her the same as any other woman.

Plenty of guys have experience with that, maybe ask them how that works out.

 

[Sega Genesis]

Hey @Mertz09 wondering what the issue is exactly versus dating any other attractive woman you meet?

Are you concerned because her husband died versus not getting along, falling out of love and breaking up naturally, that she may still be in love with him (his spirit), and holding tightly to his memory? And as such would never be fully open to you and bond with you?

That actually happened to me. I dated a man very briefly whose wife had died of Cancer at a young age. It became clear he was still holding very tightly to her and her memory and I had no interest in competing with that so I stopped seeing him.

I have no idea in your case, just asking. But if what I posted rings true, it's a valid concern at your age (late 60s?) imo. And if you're seeking something substantive versus spinning plates.

 

[Solomon]

The last one I dated was 2 years ago, one of the most successful women I dated she was retired by 46, only downside she sitll had pictures of her ex everywhere and trauma dumped but honestly, that's to be expected ...I talked to another one but she had to much going on i.e. still living with her parents in her 30s, had a nice ass but butterface and just kept going on and on about her husband I never met (it was OLD) because it was a turn off when she said something along the lines "my dead husband was perfect and I will never stop loving him" I don't care to compete with a dead man's legacy, it's no bueno for me.

In your scenario, the fact that she didn't mention it for 5 months is a good sign and shows she has dealt with it,

 

[Mertz09]

Hey @Mertz09 wondering what the issue is exactly versus dating any other attractive woman you meet?

Are you concerned because her husband died versus not getting along, falling out of love and breaking up naturally, that she may still be in love with him (his spirit), and holding tightly to his memory? And as such would never be fully open to you and bond with you?

That actually happened to me. I dated a man very briefly whose wife had died of Cancer at a young age. It became clear he was still holding very tightly to her and her memory and I had no interest in competing with that so I stopped seeing him.

I have no idea in your case, just asking. But if what I posted rings true, it's a valid concern at your age (late 60s?) imo. And if you're seeking something substantive versus spinning plates.

Yes to most of what you said. But one reason I posted this is to get some input from people who have some experience with this since I don’t. And the more we get to know each other the more I am attracted to her.

 

[Mertz09]

Yes to most of what you said. But one reason I posted this is to get some input from people who have some experience with this since I don’t. And the more we get to know each other the more I am attracted to her.

That being said: I can’t imagine how hard it must be to lose your spouse that way. She said it was a moter cycle accident.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

That being said: I can’t imagine how hard it must be to lose your spouse that way. She said it was a moter cycle accident.

165,000 people die every day. The bigger tragedy here is your level of empathy for this woman with no investment on her part.

Her being at your house should have involved you playing with her boobs and not her trauma dumping on you.

 

[Mertz09]

165,000 people die every day. The bigger tragedy here is your level of empathy for this woman with no investment on her part.

Her being at your house should have involved you playing with her boobs and not her trauma dumping on you.

Wow! Dude that's deep! I guess you are the MAN!

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Wow! Dude that's deep! I guess you are the MAN!

Have you physically touched her yet?