"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Angry/Negative people can be bad for your brain

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Macgyver

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I would avoid hanging with people that seem to *ALWAYS* downplay or put in a bad light OR EVEN ACT NEUTRAL with whatever you're saying. It's like they can never agree with what your'e saying and in turn for the less thick skinned you may feel insecure like the same people who are being negative. I don't mind receiving negative words, as long as it lets me have a different perspective on things. If you got friends like this, you may have to reconsider them as friends and choose to hang with them based on convenience than a weekly thing.
 

flexion_

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I'm not going to get into reading another thread but I do agree with the title of it. I don't waste my time with negative people.
 

Taxidriver

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Excellent stuff!

Interesting stuff . Thanks for posting this.

Interesting to see it is backed up scientifically; but I think for most people this is common sense. Everybody understands the concept and mechanics of negative or positive re-enforcement.

We are all social cameleons who constantly try to adapt to our social environment; most of it is automatic and does not even happen consciously, some of it comes from the desire to be accepted by the "group".

But indeed a simple change you can make is hang out with another group which is closer to your own ideal..
 

Taxidriver

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Excellent stuff!

Interesting stuff . Thanks for posting this.

Interesting to see it is backed up scientifically; but I think for most people this is common sense. Everybody understands the concept and mechanics of negative or positive re-enforcement.

We are all social cameleons who constantly try to adapt to our social environment; most of it is automatic and does not even happen consciously, some of it comes from the desire to be accepted by the "group".

But indeed a simple change you can make is hang out with another group which is closer to your own ideal..
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Tha Realnezz

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Most guys are haters or have issues nowadays I just stay away from them and deal more with the women i'm pursuing.
 

organizedconfusion

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Tha Realnezz said:
Most guys are haters or have issues nowadays I just stay away from them and deal more with the women i'm pursuing.
i totally agree with that statement, why is it that if someone is successfull wiht girls it seems to auotimaticly invite other guys to try to game the girls you are talking to? almost all of my guy friends always try to pull something like that..i just let them and when they get shot down..i just laugh and shake my head at them,moronschki's :crazy:

sometimes i 'play negative' just to mess with people..drives them nutts :crackup: anything said with a smart alec grin somehow gets people really miffed..yes i said miffed..:D as far as really negative people, i avoid them like the plague..
 
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