Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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An unusual counteroffer

OnTheWayUp

Senior Don Juan
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Hi people,

Just asked out my 4th girl in 5 days! Crazy! If you had told me I would be approaching so many girls this time last year, I would have laughed in your face.

Anyway, I asked this particular girl to a gig in 10 days time, seeing as we're into the same music. She seemed really happy to be asked out in the message she sent back, using lots of smileys, mentioning in jokes without me prompting her etc etc. However, she said that she wasn't free that night, having already been invited to a different gig by a female friend of hers. She asked me if I want to go with them.


My thoughts:

-Objectively, I love the music that the band at the gig she invited me to play more than at the gig I invited her to. She knows this.

- I am wary of being friend-zoned if I hang out with her and a female friend excessively.

-This feels like some sort of audition, so that she can show her friend what I'm like. I get the feeling she's not completely comfortable hanging out alone. I also get the feeling she's pretty inexperienced (she's 18) with guys.


What should I do?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Chickfight

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Yeah, whether conciously or unconciously, the friend will always ****block.
If you REALLY want to go. I suggest bringing a buddy or even two that you think would get along with her friend. That way you can actually isolate her. But her and a friend + you is a NONO.

but yeah I agree with the above, reschedule, the chick seems into you so she should be fine with it.
 

BBbardot

Senior Don Juan
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OnTheWayUp said:
Hi people,

Just asked out my 4th girl in 5 days! Crazy! If you had told me I would be approaching so many girls this time last year, I would have laughed in your face.

Anyway, I asked this particular girl to a gig in 10 days time, seeing as we're into the same music. She seemed really happy to be asked out in the message she sent back, using lots of smileys, mentioning in jokes without me prompting her etc etc. However, she said that she wasn't free that night, having already been invited to a different gig by a female friend of hers. She asked me if I want to go with them.


My thoughts:

-Objectively, I love the music that the band at the gig she invited me to play more than at the gig I invited her to. She knows this.

- I am wary of being friend-zoned if I hang out with her and a female friend excessively.

-This feels like some sort of audition, so that she can show her friend what I'm like. I get the feeling she's not completely comfortable hanging out alone. I also get the feeling she's pretty inexperienced (she's 18) with guys.


What should I do?

Whats wrong with friend zone, it's actually a very confortable zone. I mean if a girl friend zone you for real it's that she is not that attracted to you anyway. You don't lose anything.
And in a friend zone you're verrrrry close, close enough then to go for the kill:) and plus it will be pure sex, cause she would like you, but not be intimidated like a girl might be sometimes with a guy that she is actually interested in. So it would be pretty pretty cool.
And she will find it fun to do everything you want cause she would have never thought of you like it before, yet know you well...
Plus in the friend zone you get to date other girl with her knowing, hell you can even get her to hook you up with other girls.

Friend zone is finne:)

I think friend zone is the better way to get to a threesome too. Cause in a romantic relationship she would be jealous and it would caue drama.
3some in a friendzone is the best threesome you would get too, cause no drama, just fun.
 

OnTheWayUp

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Chickfight said:
If you REALLY want to go. I suggest bringing a buddy or even two that you think would get along with her friend. That way you can actually isolate her.
Thanks to everyone for their advice.

However, I think Chickfight has this one down. I do really want to go to this gig- had I known about it in advance, I would have arranged to take the girl to this, the better gig, instead of the more average one we planned. I have a friend who I spoke with today who is single, a bit of a player, and is into the same music that we are, so I'll ask him (and the girl ofc) if he wants to make it a double date.

Wish me luck!
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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horaholic

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BBbardot said:
Whats wrong with friend zone, it's actually a very confortable zone. I mean if a girl friend zone you for real it's that she is not that attracted to you anyway. You don't lose anything.
And in a friend zone you're verrrrry close, close enough then to go for the kill:) and plus it will be pure sex, cause she would like you, but not be intimidated like a girl might be sometimes with a guy that she is actually interested in. So it would be pretty pretty cool.
And she will find it fun to do everything you want cause she would have never thought of you like it before, yet know you well...
Plus in the friend zone you get to date other girl with her knowing, hell you can even get her to hook you up with other girls.

Friend zone is finne:)

I think friend zone is the better way to get to a threesome too. Cause in a romantic relationship she would be jealous and it would caue drama.
3some in a friendzone is the best threesome you would get too, cause no drama, just fun.
Dude. STFU.
 

DonJuan11

Master Don Juan
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OnTheWayUp said:
Hi people,

Just asked out my 4th girl in 5 days! Crazy! If you had told me I would be approaching so many girls this time last year, I would have laughed in your face.

Anyway, I asked this particular girl to a gig in 10 days time,

10 days time? That's pretty far away. She could be pregnant with someone's baby by then. If you like a girl and want to go out with her, you have to lock it down fast.

seeing as we're into the same music. She seemed really happy to be asked out in the message she sent back, using lots of smileys, mentioning in jokes without me prompting her etc etc.

You asked her out in a text message? That doesn't help the situation.


However, she said that she wasn't free that night, having already been invited to a different gig by a female friend of hers. She asked me if I want to go with them.

Very close to the friend zone. She doesn't like or respect you enough to counter with one-on-one date you and she asks you to "tag along" with her friend for a first date. You are no different than her cousin.

Think about it: If you liked a girls "personality" and "taste in music" but didn't want to sleep with her, wouldn't you invite her to "tag along" with you and a buddy?



My thoughts:

-Objectively, I love the music that the band at the gig she invited me to play more than at the gig I invited her to. She knows this.

- I am wary of being friend-zoned if I hang out with her and a female friend excessively.

-This feels like some sort of audition, so that she can show her friend what I'm like. I get the feeling she's not completely comfortable hanging out alone. I also get the feeling she's pretty inexperienced (she's 18) with guys.

What should I do?
Respectfully decline, ask her out for a different day by TALKING to her.
 
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